Friday, August 29, 2014

Blame The A/C. Go Ahead...I Dare You!

Note: I began writing this post on Thursday and didn't have time to edit and post it, so here it is...

I'm in kind of a bitchy mood today. And yesterday I was too, come to think of it. And the day before that as well. You know why? Sleep deprivation. And as if I wasn't losing enough of my sanity from that, we have MIL to add to that one.

Earlier, I discovered she'd yet again put our rolling pin into the drawer without washing it. I showed my husband and he looked disgusted as well. We have told her and told her AND TOLD her and she STILL does this EVERYFUCKINGTIME she makes wontons or steamed buns or fried breads. Or dumplings. Which she made yesterday. THIS is WHY I don't want to eat the shit she cooks. Because she isn't sanitary. I didn't feel up to blogging about her stupid cooking. Because she just made dumplings. A big-ass plate of dumplings. Nothing else. Dumplings. Sigh.

Anyway, I didn't photograph tonight's dinner either because she basically made steamed shrimp and potato bread again. AGAIN. Same shit, different day. My friend Lynnelle suggested that perhaps she buys a lot of certain things and just keeps making them until they're gone. That theory really seems to make a ton of sense. She's just giving us a bunch of reruns when it comes to things she makes for us to eat. Though I guess I should be thrilled it wasn't cream of vomit again, shouldn't I?

But food is not the main point of this rambling bitchery. Not today.

See, Raelynn had been coughing ever-so-slightly and her nose was a little runny. I banned her from getting too close to the baby. Jeremy brought this up with his mother and you know what she said? Why, the most nonsensical thing ever, of course! She said it was the air conditioning in Raelynn's room. Which was NOT on actually. Ever since FIL cleaned out the one in our room, it runs so cold it can keep the whole apartment nice and cool. We keep the one in our room on all day because that's where Seoul usually is. Raelynn's gets turned on at night when she's in there, going to sleep. Furthermore, MIL's theory is stupider still because if it were the A/C's fault, why aren't the rest of us sick from it? What a moron. It couldn't possibly be due to her dragging Raelynn to the neighborhood park and letting her interact with her ancient, dirty, smelly bat-brained friends! Or the less-than-stellar air quality outside could also be to blame...when we'd gone to Beijing a couple years ago, the smog was so bad that Raelynn exhibited cold-like symptoms from the moment we were there until we left. As soon as we departed that city, those symptoms were gone. But what do I know? China keeps telling its' idiot citizens like her that smog is good for them so there you go.

I never was very capable of tolerating stupid people and now, I have one with absolutely no education trying to tell me that a device that not only cools the air but also removes the moisture within said air which prevents mold and mildew from developing is the reason my eldest child was coughing and sniffling.

At least we get a much-needed break from her in a couple more days when we head to Guangzhou. We'll be visiting the US Embassy to handle some paperwork for Seoul's US citizenship and begin Jeremy's visa process. Plus, we'll get to hang in another city for a few days. For those not in the know, Guangzhou is in the southern part of mainland China so it's hot there. I sure hope their attitude about air conditioning is not at all like MIL's, but even if it is, being away from her mangy-ass - even though it involves traveling with 2 children under the age of 5 - will be a blissful retreat.


  1. This is so familiar. Whenever we or the kids get sick, he blames The Chill from the AC or open windows. This is a man who has a PhD in engineering. The rational part of his brain knows about germ theory, but the other part, which heard his parents and grandparents go on about The Chill during his childhood thinks differently. When I got a stomach virus in Beijing, of course The Chill from the hotel AC was to blame. ;) My own theory was that it was germs from the bus tour hicks from other provinces that were swarming Tiananmen Square when we visiting. You know the ones: matching hats, spitting, squishing their doughy bodies into mine. Shudder. It's amazing how quickly China turns me into a snob.

  2. Oh the country yokels are THE worst, aren't they? And it is SO hard not being a snob here. I know these people are just trying to be nice and friendly but I so don't want them coming near me with hands they didn't wash after taking a shit or blowing snot directly onto the ground instead of a tissue. I especially don't want them touching my children with their filthy hands. My in-laws will be over for dinner later because we're going to Guangzhou and something about tradition before a trip, my husband said. But I swear if I hear one word about the evil kongtiao, someone is getting a plate of dumplings lobbed at their head.

  3. Oh, dont get me started with the AC. MIL blames everything on the AC. When I wake up at their place with a sore throat, of course it is the AC, even when the AC wasnt switched on the entire night and MIL opened the windows to let some massive smog in the entire night!!!
    Whenever the smog gets pretty bad I have flue like symptoms for a long time. I really wonder how people can stay the whole day outside in that dirt.
    During the past months we have met different Chinese couples who have babies and always some crazy MIL is there as well. THey all have several things in common (mind, just the people I have met thus far): They never wash their hands, they reorganoze the kitchen into a perfect mess, they clean everything with the same oily rag, the AC is always bad, they can't cook and their general idea about hygiene and health/medicine is far below that of a caveman/cavewoman.
    I mean I am not overly "clean" or whatsoever but what I have experienced thus far in China and with MIL's just drives me nuts (my wife can't stand this either anymore, she wonders how her mother could actually raise a child)

    1. You totally crack me up! I bet they have a school where MILs go to train to be extra dirty and annoying. Did you ever see my post that was basically just a photo of MIL's kitchen?

      So it's not just my MIL that can't cook, huh? I have a good friend - she was my first friend in Qingdao and she studied Chinese for 20 years. She'd been all over China and she said that this province (Shandong) was not known for its' food and had probably the worst food ever. I'd believe it.

      I'm a pretty clean person. My husband is too which is surprising for someone coming from his background but he lived in Korea for 4 years so I think that affected him positively. I often wonder HOW my in-laws managed to raise such a fine son without accidentally killing him due to their negligence. I am terrified to leave Seoul with MIL when I go back to work in October. TERRIFIED. Raelynn was a little bigger when I started working again. Eek.

  4. China will make anyone a raging germaphobe. As an afterthought I packed some organic lavender hand sanitizing wipes. They became a sort of security blanket. Anytime I saw or smelled something disgusting, I sanitized my hands and then inhaled the lovely, fresh lavender. Yes, people looked at me like I was a nut. Several trips back I realized that people there will stare no matter how "normal" you are. Might as well do what you want. By the end of the trip they were running out. Next time I'll bring 5 packages! Hat off to you... If I had to stay in China longer than a few weeks, I'd be in jail or a mental institution.

    1. Oh I don't leave the house without wet wipes, tissues and hand sanitizer. It helps that I have children so I can't possibly go anywhere in any country without these items, but in a place where you seldom find soap or toilet paper in the bathroom, it's a necessity. Also, no matter WHERE I am going here - even just to the store - I spray on perfume. Just like they did ages ago - smell their wrists to get rid of the unpleasant smells.