Monday, August 11, 2014

MIL The Comedian

Today, MIL showed me that she can actually be funny. Only problem is I don't think she was trying to be.

A friend of my husband's is in the coat business. He gave us a couple coats to try out. One is black and is probably for a man but it doesn't look too manly. It doesn't look overly feminine either. Very neutral. The other is definitely for a woman. It's white and cinches at the waist. It's really cute. Problem is that it's in a size for a typical Asian women, meaning my boobs do not at all fit inside this thing.

It looks like if this coat

And this coat

Had a coat-baby.

Now that we've established what this coat looks like, let me tell you why MIL is a laugh-riot today.

Because the coat doesn't fit me, Jeremy said he'd give it to his mother. Actually, he's quite the comedian too now isn't he? Can you picture MIL in this? If you've forgotten what MIL looks like, here's a refresher:
Incidentally, I couldn't resist using this photo of my in-laws from when I first visited China before moving here in late 2010. They look the same but our apartment does not (thank God!). This is before we moved into our home.

So of course, imagine MIL trying to wear a coat for a young woman. And imagine even more her being able to fit into it. While she doesn't have a giant-boob problem, she is a boxy-shaped woman and there's no way her man-frame would ever fit into that coat. Are you laughing yet? Because that's what I was doing when my husband suggested this. Hard. It brought tears to my eyes.

But give it to her he did, reasoning that perhaps she'd know someone she could give it to. He gave it to her last week but I noticed she left it in Raelynn's room. Perhaps she'd forgotten it. I mean she's not the sharpest tool in the shed now is she? Today when she came, I'd moved the bag with the coat in it out into the living room so she would remember to take it with her. And as I watched TV, I saw her take the bag and put it back in Raelynn's room. So I tell her not to do that and to please take the coat with her later when she leaves. And she says why should she take it? AND WAIT...this is where it gets goooooooooooood...

She says Raelynn can wear that coat and we should save it for her.

Please. Let that just absorb for a moment, won't you? Raelynn is almost 3 1/2 now. This coat is for an adult woman. Yes, that's brilliant! Let's save a coat for her for 15 years. I'm sure it will be fashionable then. Why, that makes PERFECT sense to hold onto clothing for nearly 2 decades! See? She's fucking hilarious today.

So I tell her that's nice but we'll be moving to America at some point and I'm not waiting until she grows into a coat. Should I ship that thing over to America? When she goes off to college, I can bust it out. Hell, when she's worn it to shreds, Seoul can wear it too.

She says she'll take the coat and keep it at her house for Raelynn when she's bigger. Yeah, you'll be holding onto that coat for a loooooooooooooong time, lady. Of course, she loves to dress Raelynn in things that are about 5 sizes too large so I'm sure she'll whip it out next winter. At least it's not ugly though which is more than I can say about the shit she usually picks out. It's SUCH an old Chinese lady thing to do - buy things way too big so you can grow into them. Never mind that they will look worn or most likely be tattered by the time it IS an appropriate size. Squirreling away things like a crazed hoarder is the Chinese MIL way!


  1. My Chinese MIL says you should buy children's shoes a few sizes too big and then use crumpled newspapers too fill in the excess space.

    1. Hahaha! Oh Chinese MILs! While I agree that you should buy children's shoes a little larger, excessively larger is ridiculous. When we bought Raelynn sneakers, we bought them bigger but not so big that we needed to fill the excess space with newspapers. Big enough that she wouldn't outgrow them within 2 months. Sadly, we weren't paying attention when we bought her these strappy sandals (that I wished they had in my size...argh!) and she outgrew those very quickly, but the good news is that someday, Seoul will fit into them. =)

  2. Though my MIL has also not the best fashion sense (giving my wife's cousin some ugly ass clothes and asking next time we visit who could give that girl such ugly things to wear...) she has a bit more sense these days when it comes to saving up clothes.
    The thing is you see, FIL is the clothes saving extremist in the family. When MIL was still modeling she got all kinds of nice clothes for herself and her husband. So naturaly she gave her husband some nice expensive shirts etc. All these clothes went into his closet to "save up" till his older clothes are not good enough anymore etc bla bla. Some of these clothes are more than 20 years old....

    1. Hahaha! Clothes Saving Extremist! Love it! When we first moved into this house they gave us and we were preparing the 2nd bedroom for Raelynn's birth, the closet in that room was FULL of clothes. My in-laws' clothes. They probably had that crap in there since my husband moved away to Korea (they lived in another house before this one and then when he was college-aged, they moved in here). And the funniest part was they didn't understand WHY we wanted them to take it out of that closet. Um, because YOU don't live here anymore AND because there will soon be a baby here and we need a place to keep the baby's clothes! Thankfully, they took it all away but I can bet you all the dumplings in China they've just stuffed these ratty-ass clothes into their wardrobe in their house and that they will never wear these things. They wear the same things over and over and they will wear the same outfit for at least 3 days in a row. Gag!