Saved From MIL!

Today, I got a get-out-of-eating-barf-free card. One of our Korean friends who we hadn't seen in a while called us up and invited us out to dinner. Hells yes!

Jeremy and our friend Mr. Woo. 
 
We met up at one of the few Chinese restaurants I actually love around here. If you've been reading my blog for a while, you know I've kind of grown to hate Chinese food much thanks to MIL. This place makes such good food. Score!

The only downside was that it's August and it's fucking hot. And our car is in the shop for service so we had to take the bus. Which is not air conditioned. But it was only 2 stops away.

Still, nothing could save me from the sweaty yuckiness that August turns me into once I leave my house. Not even the A/C in the restaurant. Seoul felt the same way. She cried and cried and wouldn't nurse because she was so hot. Not until I switched seats with Jeremy who had a better position in relation to the air conditioning. Then all was well again and I could actually eat more than 1 bite of food. And drink my beer. Ah, cold beer on a hot day. It was bliss!

But the most blissful part of all was NO MIL! That is better than cold beer. It's better than a million dollars. It is priceless.

Our happy little family!

Baby A La Mode

Here's the story of how I dropped ice cream on poor baby Seoul's little head...

 Sadly, I don't have actual photos of an ice cream-topped baby so this photo of Seoul laying on her daddy's chest will have to do.

But first...
I must admit that as this Sunday started off, I was extra irritable. It was leftover from Saturday night when, inexplicably, our internet stopped working. And then started working. And then stopped. And started. And stopped again. You get the idea. We just replaced our router after having a bunch of connection issues and now we were back at square one again.

I should be happier though. Jeremy's already fed Raelynn and Seoul is peacefully chilling in her chair as I make us some eggs benedict. I realize though as I whip up the holladaise sauce that it's my last packet of it and it makes me sad. My mom sent that in one of her massive and supremely awesome care packages to us. As the supplies of these sublime American items begin to dwindle, I feel even more homesick than ever.

Somehow, I manage to get 2 children ready for church, along with myself. Meanwhile, Jeremy contacts the internet guy who's been so kind and helpful to us during our connection issues and he tells us he'll come out in the afternoon and replace the building's internet cable.

And somehow, my day begins to change into a better one. We arrive at church and I run into a friend who had her first baby a month before I had Seoul. I hadn't seen her in a while and got to see her cutie-pie son. But I couldn't go into the service. Raelynn didn't want me leaving her in the nursery. Seoul was fine anywhere. She didn't cry once. She lay in my lap, watching Raelynn and the other children play, had her milk boobies, made a poop and just chilled. She's cool like that. So Seoul and I just hung out with Raelynn until it was time to go.

And when it was time to go, we went to the house of a woman I'd never met before to pick up some baby items she was giving away before she moved away. Here in Qingdao, we have an email group called Qingdao Mamas where you can email all the other moms (and dads) about play groups, having stuff to sell or giveaway or looking for specific things to buy. People are always coming and going so it's a great resource when you're looking to stock up on children's books or things like that. This woman had sent out an email about free baby girl stuff - a Baby Bjorn carrier, a Baby Bumbo chair and an assortment of baby girl clothes.

Church services are held in the auditorium at the Intercontinental Hotel. This woman's apartment was just the next street over from the hotel. I couldn't believe how lovely it was there. We live in the north part of town. I've mentioned before that my first friend in Qingdao, Andrea, always said that where we lived was "the part of Qingdao that time forgot." It must be actually enjoyable to live in this city and live in a building like that, I think to myself as we walk up to it. The surrounding area is clean too, unlike our nasty neighborhood. But I try to be grateful for the home we do have as we don't have to pay rent here. We are able to save all the money that we make.

A place like the one we stood before now would cost a fortune. It was easy to see why. We ran into another person from church who happened to be going to the same place to pick up a treadmill. As we walked into this apartment, I was stunned. It was SO gorgeous. A chandelier hung over the dining room table and the whole place just looked so opulent, I felt like we'd wandered into the Shangri-La. The woman and her family were so nice that I felt sad for having to meet them and like them, for they were moving away to the Philippines. As she showed us the things she had for us, she also offered us some other miscellaneous things - all free - to take with us. A Strawberry Shortcake house, which Raelynn immediately latched onto once she was given the OK to do so. Wearable butterfly wings. Some children's books. Some talking laptop-like toy that has that "It's Learning Time" dog on it, only since they were from Australia, the voice on it had an Australian accent. And a small Christmas tree which was perfect because Jeremy and I had been talking about replacing our cheap, scrawny one with a better version.

Jeremy was stunned she would give away so many nice things. He tried to offer her money but she refused, saying people had given her things when she first came and she felt the best thing she could do would be to give things to others. It really humbled me that someone could be so generous and so friendly and yet live in an apartment like this that had a stunning view of the sea. No wonder she didn't want to leave Qingdao. If I lived in that place with that view, I'd never want to leave it either.

Somehow, we make it out to the car with both children (Seoul slept through all this) and all our new things, sweating like beasts as we do because it is August and I fucking HATE this month most of all here. Everyone is in a great mood now and as we drive along by the part of the sea that has no tourists (hence the part I love), enjoying the scenic views that make me like living in Qingdao, my husband suggests that we go to Silver Gardens, or as he calls it, "The American Supermarket."

It's a small little nook of a store at the bottom of an apartment building. You have to know about it or you'd never find it. When my friend Genesis lived here, she took me there. The lady that runs it is so nice and some of her prices are fair. But not all of them. Jeremy told me he'd buy anything I wanted so that I could make a meal that would make me happy. This was to make up for the other night when he invited his mom over. He still owes me a nice meal out somewhere but with Seoul this little and uncannily waking up every time I'm about to eat, it might be best if we wait to do that or else my nice meal might turn into takeout reheated by our microwave. But this indeed was a really nice way to make it up to me. For now. So we bought syrup for when I make pancakes, brownie mix, a can of black beans, flour tortillas (which is one of the items that she overcharges for at 40 rmb per package...when we were still able to shop at Metro, we could get them for 15 rmb per package), pesto sauce, Doritos, a can of A&W root beer, guacamole dip (another overcharge at 50 rmb for the jar but so worth it), and a few other random items.

I should mention the store was not air conditioned (of course not...oh China!) so we were beyond sweaty at this point, trying to hurry and buy things and get out before Seoul woke up screaming from the heat. That's why Jeremy must have decided buying us each an ice cream would be a great idea. It was a sweet idea, I'll say that. But because it was so fucking hot, we had to eat them very quickly. Raelynn has not yet mastered the art of eating ice cream quickly. We try to hurry to the car but I'm carrying a sleeping baby and melon ice cream on a stick while trying to coax Raelynn to 1) walk quickly and 2) eat the ice cream even more quickly.

Suddenly, as we approach the car, Raelynn starts freaking out because the ice cream is melting down her hand because she is the world's slowest eater. As I start to reach for her ice cream to help her, part of mine plops down onto Seoul's head. Yes, that's right. I dropped ice cream on my tiny baby's head. And she didn't scream for that. She only started screaming when Raelynn went nuts and I think she was just trying to say: "It's too fucking hot for this shit! Get in the fucking car! Gah!"

As the ice cream spilled onto Seoul's head, I couldn't help but laugh. And as I did, I sputtered melon ice cream like a broken sprinkler, somehow managing not to spray her in the process. Jeremy, who had raced to the car to put our bags in, had missed this spectacular sight.

Poor Seoul. Mommy's so sorry she dropped ice cream on you!

As for Raelynn, Jeremy went through about 15 wet wipes trying to clean her up before putting her in her car seat. I think that's the last time he'll give Raelynn ice cream while we're out unless we are sitting at a table in a restaurant with a bowl of ice cream.

And that was our Sunday, a la mode.

The Story Of Seoul

They say every birth is different. Just like every person is different. Man, they sure weren't kidding! If you need a refresher on how Raelynn came into the world, click here. You may also want to read about how MIL made me nuts right after coming home from the hospital so click here too.

This is how our sweet little Seoul came into the world...

On Monday, July 14th, you'll no doubt recall my last meal of grossness served up by MIL. On that day, I'd been having false labor signs. Braxton Hicks contractions. I knew it wasn't baby time because they kept disappearing when I'd get up and move around. They also came with no regularity or increase in frequency. The only thing that ever remained the same was the duration of each contraction: just one minute. It was unpleasant and uncomfortable but before I could really complain, it would vanish and I'd be fine for hours before another one would come up.

That night, I took a nice, hot shower and tried to relax. I figured my body was gearing up for the big moment and I should take it easy. I went to bed early but around 1am, I woke up to a contraction. And this one was VERY different. It was more painful than the others had been. Plus, it began in the lower back and shot through my abdomen. But again, it only lasted one minute. I fell back asleep and 30 or so minutes later, I felt the same thing. I thought about waking Jeremy but I wanted to be sure before I set us into pre-baby-panic-mode. So I watched the clock. And the next hour? 2 contractions again. Maybe I'm crazy. I watched another hour go by with the same results. I knew then that this kid was getting ready to come out.

It was 3am. The other thing I knew was that if we did go to the hospital right then, they'd only tell me to try to get some sleep first. So I tried to get some sleep in the comfort of our home. It was a futile attempt. But my contractions only became 25 minutes apart and didn't increase in length or pain so I knew we had time.

Early in the morning, about 6:30am, Jeremy woke up to use the bathroom. That's when I told him. He called the hospital to let Dr. Wang know but she was already in surgery delivering another baby. They told us we should start getting over to the hospital as soon as we could. Jeremy then called his parents. I hugged and kissed Raelynn, still a bit terrified of delivering the baby inside me and hoping that I would make it out alive to see her again.

We rounded up our bags and spent time with Raelynn before MIL arrived. After a tearful goodbye with Raelynn, we were off. The hospital isn't that far away but since it was now rush hour on Tuesday, July 15th, we were stuck in traffic for an hour. I had 3 contractions in the car during that time, much more painful than before.

When we finally arrived at the hospital, we hurried into Dr. Wang's office. She had changed from her surgery garb and looked as though she was expecting us. She wanted to run a few tests first so we had them done. She was trying to check the scar tissue from my first c-section to see if there would be any problems. When we'd seen her during our last check-up over the previous weekend, she'd told me not to eat or drink anything at least 4 hours before my c-section. I hadn't even had a drop of water since bedtime and now the ultrasound tech was being a bitch because she said I didn't have enough in my bladder for her to see well enough. She was urging me to go drink more water even though the doctor told me not to. Moron. On top of that, I had to pee so badly I seriously thought I was going to lose control of my bladder during that scan.

We went back to Dr. Wang and as we spoke to her, I had a horrible contraction. I gripped the back of one of the chairs in her office and she then ordered her assistant to send us up to check into our room and prep for surgery. Off we went. Jeremy was excited because our room was a lucky number in Chinese: 618. He said this was a very good sign. I just cried and cried because I was scared and excited all at once. Plus, I was finally allowed to pee and the bathrooms in the hospital rooms are soooooooooooooooo much nicer than the bathroom you can use on the first floor.

No sooner than I get in there, my husband runs back to the car to get our bags and nurses begin to file in to prep me for surgery. Even though I'm scared, I know this is best for me now because I'd been in labor since the wee hours of the morning and wasn't even dilated yet. Another long labor would await me if I didn't go through with my planned c-section.

A gurney comes in. Some hospital clothes. I smell rubbing alcohol and I begin to panic. The nurses are all very nice despite the language barrier. They speak limited English but they try to comfort me. Another woman comes in with forms she wants me to sign. I can't read them because they're in Chinese and Jeremy snaps at her about that. He handles the forms while I'm prepped and moved onto the gurney.

They take my blood and I cry at the sting of pain. I'm so scared now. I'm dreading this. This sucks. Why does giving birth have to suck so fucking much, I wonder. Then, they start wheeling me down the hall. I scream for Jeremy who runs alongside, trying to comfort me. We ride the elevator to where the operating rooms are. It's very sterile, which is reassuring, but also terrifying at the same time. I don't want my husband to leave me. They tell him he has to dress in scrubs if he's going to come into the OR and they assure me not to worry. Into the OR I go. It's much more freaky than I remember from Raelynn's birth. There are about 5 people in there prepping everything, speaking to me in halting English and all I can do is cry. The anesthesiologist is very nice, and desperate to calm me down so she can issue the epidural. She pats my head and tells me not to cry and to please lay on my side. Please don't move, she tells me as she rubs something cold along my spine. Suddenly, the OR doors open and I hope it's my husband. It's not but the person who I see makes me sigh with great relief. It's Dr. Wang. I feel so much better seeing her there. Her English is much better than her team's. I ask for my husband and she tells me she's worried he will become sick if he sees the surgery. She says it will be okay because she can talk to me in English which was really the only valid reason for my husband coming in.

Dr. Wang sees the panic in my eyes and she tells me quite kindly not to worry about anything. She does this every day, many times a day. I'm in good hands. I know this. It's exactly why I wanted her to deliver this baby just like she did with Raelynn.

The epidural takes effect and I cannot feel my legs. At all. It's so weird. They have a mask ready in case I need to be knocked out completely but I don't want it. There's a large canvas draped over the rest of my body. I can't see anything that is happening to me which is a huge relief. I can only feel a slight little tugging. It doesn't hurt. It just feels very strange. The anesthesiologist stays by my head. She tells me if I feel anything and want to sleep to tell her. I look about the room wildly. I hate this. I want it to end.

And suddenly, WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! There's my baby! I remember hearing Raelynn when she was born but I was so foggy from the anesthesia it was part of my drugged out trip. As this baby cries, I say, "My baby! It's my baby!" "Yes," I hear Dr. Wang say. "Everything is very good." "It's a girl, right?" I ask her, hoping and praying that what they'd told me months ago hadn't been to just make me happy. "Yes, it's a girl," Dr. Wang tells me. THANK GOD.

I begin to relax now. My baby is alive and well. It is not a boy, no offense to the moms I know with boys. I'm just so relieved to have another girl. I can see her being carted off into the corner to my left as 3 people from Dr. Wang's team clean her up. I just want to look at her but I know I have to be stitched back up. This part took a while but I remember reading that about c-sections. It seemed like seconds when I had Raelynn only because of the drugs. Now I wondered how long it was taking as Dr. Wang closed me up. I also felt warm. It felt like forever, and again, the anesthesiologist told me that she could put me to sleep if I wanted to be out. I just told her I felt warm and wished they could take the canvas off of me so I'd feel cooler.

And then it was over. They counted: yi, er, san! And lifted me off the operating table and back onto my gurney and out I went. There was my husband, overjoyed and crying with relief. We all went back into the room. I was moved into my bed and had my vitals checked out yet again. I was so much more with it this time though it truly freaked me out that I seriously could not feel my legs. I tried to wiggle my toes and nothing. They told me it would be fine soon and that I had to lay flat for 6 hours. On this hard, awful hospital bed. But the good news was they were handing me my little baby. My sweet Seoul Susie Qu.

It's no wonder they use babies that are 3 to 6 months old in movies, TV shows and commercials. You know why, right? Because newborns are so tiny and scrawny. They're wrinkly and honestly, look like little old men. But we love them anyway, don't we? I loved Seoul when I saw her too. Later I would learn the downside to marrying a man that makes me laugh so much...it truly sucks to have a funny husband when you've had a c-section. Laughing hurts. He called Seoul "Grandpa Face" and I thought I was going to die from the pain the laughter caused.

 Grandpa Face! Hahahahaha!

I breastfed my little angel quite easily and breathed a sigh of relief. Now we were over the other side of the wall. Now the recovery begins.

I hate hospitals. I always have. I've never had to stay in a hospital in the US so I can only relate what it's like here in China. I'm sure it's very different than the states so for those of you that have gone through a c-section back home, I'd love to hear from you in the comments about what your experience was like in the hospital. It would be neat to compare.

In China, you must bring your own towels, toilet paper, soap, and all sorts of things you'd never think about bringing in the US. They did supply us with a gift bag that included my hospital pajamas, those shitty kind of diapers you know I hate from when Raelynn was a newborn, and some other stuff which impressively included soap, a plastic soap dish and even a roll of toilet paper. Wow, they're stepping up their game, I remember thinking.

My room had 2 hospital beds in it because it's typical your spouse or a family member will stay with you to assist you. Nurses are for changing IVs and administering shots. But NOT emptying your catheter bag! Jeremy had to empty it out. You know your husband loves you very much when he dumps out bags of your pee for you. He also helped me to the bathroom when the catheter was removed. They'd given me many IVs during my stay but one of the last ones I got was some sort of nutrient and I had to keep it elevated so Jeremy had to come with me to the bathroom.

We also had one nurse tell Jeremy that HE had to change the sheets on my bed for me. This was when I still had the catheter in and couldn't get up. I felt gross and needed my mattress guard and sheets changed. Fortunately, another nurse came in and took care of it, Jeremy only being asked to offer minimal assistance in helping me roll over.

The first 2 days in the hospital, it seemed like every 5 minutes, someone was knocking on our door to come in for this or that. Just as I'd start falling asleep, someone would knock. It was highly irritating. I would have been even more annoyed that first day when my in-laws showed up if not for the sight of my precious Raelynn. I was so happy to see her little face and so grateful to visit with her.

In addition to the constant interruptions by the staff, the air conditioning became an issue. They'd turned it off in our room. Jeremy flipped out on my behalf. I was in pain and sweating and I couldn't sleep. AT ALL. The night nurse was a huge pain in the ass about this, saying that 26 Celcius was a fine temperature. My husband yelled that we'd paid 10,000 rmb for our room and on top of that, I was a foreign person. I remember hearing him yell that I felt sick because of the heat. It was true. Finally in the morning, they sorted out the air conditioning issue and it stayed at a nice 22 Celcius the rest of our stay. I was also given an extra shot of pain medicine and I was finally able to fall asleep.

The bed was another horrible problem for me. Because I've never had to stay in a US hospital, I have nothing to compare it to. But I felt like my back was becoming worse because of this bed. The mattress was very thin and on top of a metal frame. I tried to roll on my sides but because of the surgery it was so painful to do so. After a few days, that pain got better but my hips now ached from the metal frame of the bed. As you can probably imagine, it was a very happy moment for me when I was told I could go home the next morning.

 You can see here what the hospital bed looks like. Jeremy's bed is identical to mine. Look at that thin mattress!

 So we went in on a Tuesday morning and we got to leave on a Saturday morning. MIL kept her promise to me about bringing Raelynn, which I'm very grateful for. She brought her every day. Even though she dressed her in the same clothes every day. Even underwear. She said she bathed her but Raelynn stunk (and of course, so did my in-laws - like they always do). I couldn't wait to wash her when we got home so she'd smell nice again.

Speaking of the in-laws, let's talk about them since I know you're dying to know about that, aren't you? Of course you are! That's why you read this blog, isn't it?

I was relieved that my in-laws didn't kill Raelynn while they watched her. They told me Raelynn cried all the time for me, which made me feel bad. She must have really hated having them watch her the whole time. Sorry, my sweet! They didn't touch the window in her room either, so I have to hand it to them for listening to my wishes in that regard. On Friday, my husband ran his parents and Raelynn home in the car so he could get my passport. We needed it to make Seoul's birth certificate. We have to present this at the US Embassy so we can get a report for a consular birth abroad. Jeremy was worried to ask his parents to bring my passport. He thought they might lose it or forget to lock up the drawer we keep it in and Raelynn would destroy it and the other important documents housed in there.

When he returned, I asked him how our house looked. He made a face and I knew. But before I could cry, he promised me he would clean it up. When we actually got home on Saturday morning, I thought I was going to see the aftermath of a tornado. But it wasn't as bad as I was expecting. The kitchen was a royal zoo but I chose not to get too angry because, for one, Jeremy promised to clean it all himself, and for another, MIL was in there actively cooking a big welcome home lunch. Never mind that it wasn't anything I wanted to eat but it was nice of her. The other mess was FIL's fault. Raelynn's toys were everywhere and he refused to act like a grown up and tell her to clean it. I pulled her aside and talked to her about the mess. Then I told her to have Grandpa help her. He was shocked that she would listen to me and clean up. I was shocked that he would let her tell him no when he asked her to do something. That's one of the things that bothers me so much about my in-laws. They don't realize how much more damaging it is to let her have her way like that.

 Those are just some of the hard boiled eggs she made for me. She also made me another big bowl of xifan. This kind of xifan looks a lot like baby poop. Especially how she made it. She should have used more water. The food was gross but it was nice to drink again.

 Raelynn is so happy to have us home. Look at that face! I love her! And look at that food - gross!

Soon, the floors were cleaned up, toys were in their right place and my husband had poured me a glass of wine. I was feeling better and enjoying being home, even if we had to have lunch with his parents. After eating, FIL went home and MIL and Jeremy cleaned up the kitchen. Then MIL spent some time holding the baby. After a while though. My husband hopped on his computer and just ignored that his mother was here in our living room, doing nothing but staring into space. I hate when she does that. There's no reason for you to be here now. Thank you for lunch. Thank you for taking care of Raelynn. It is 1:30pm. We aren't eating dinner until 6:30pm. PLEASE GO HOME. I calmly explained to Jeremy that THIS is something that gets on my nerves about his mother so he politely told her to leave and we'd see her later. That made me so happy. This house is just too small to have someone I don't need sitting around taking up space on the couch to be sitting around taking up space on the couch.

For dinner, she came back and made better food. WAY better food. She had these roasted chicken legs that were delicious. She must have bought them somewhere. There's no way she could make something that good. She also made steamed clams again. And the obligatory xifan. And she didn't overstay her welcome into the evening. She cooked. She cleaned. She held the baby. She kissed Raelynn goodnight before I read her stories. And then, she went home! Amazing!

Now I hate to look a gift horse in the mouth but here's the stuff my in-laws fucked up: the closet door in Raelynn's room. FIL busted it off the track. God only knows why he would do such a thing. Derp. The kitchen sink. It was leaking again! Lord knows we had enough problems with that sink. But, it turned out something got knocked loose with the faucet and Jeremy was able to tighten it himself. Still, I'm not surprised. We had so many sink problems because MIL just bangs the big pans and cutting boards into it without a care in the world.

Also, someone, I'm guessing MIL, stored a bag of eggplant in the kitchen cabinets. Instead of the refrigerator. I went into the cabinet today to get some flour and I smelled something foul. I nominated Jeremy to check it out and he made the grisly discovery. I'd also found a bag of eggplant and carrots on the side of the refrigerator today. Fortunately, those were not rotten and I put them in the fridge. Why she does this IN SUMMER when EVERYTHING you leave out rots is beyond me. Especially when there is so much room inside that fridge!

Ok...now something nice...something nice. FIL cleaned our fish tank and it looks great. He also deep-cleaned our air conditioner in our bedroom and now it's ice-cold in here. That was nice and helpful. We can run it on low and it cools our whole room, not to mention the living room when we have the sliding door open.

Yesterday was Sunday, our 2nd day at home. And my husband had told his parents not to come. Never on Sundays. But I was truly dreading today, Monday. I worried she'd come at the crack of dawn, making more hard boiled eggs than we could ever eat. Which is a Chinese tradition when you have a baby. Your family makes hard boiled eggs and gives them to everyfuckingone they see. But when your Chinese MIL gives you too many hard boiled eggs, you make deviled eggs, which is just what I did for dinner last night. Jeremy went nuts for them and scolded me for never before making them for him. Well, no worries honey...we still have about 20 more hard-boiled eggs in the fridge.

I heard our land line ring this morning and became tense with fear. Jeremy came back from answering it and told me his parents would come around 8am or 9am to take Raelynn out for a bit so I could rest. What? Really? Now wait...that's actually helpful. And they did. They took her out until about 11am. And then I thought MIL would bother me some more but nope! She just dropped off Raelynn and a package of Japanese diapers a friend of hers had sent for us. AND SHE LEFT!

She didn't come until 5pm and she's only here to make us dinner. I'm shocked. And delighted. But fearful. I seriously SERIOUSLY hope this is how she will be during this time - HELPFUL. I seriously SERIOUSLY hope she will come take Raelynn for walks on the 4 days she's supposed to come so the kid can get out into the world while I care for her little sister. And I seriously SERIOUSLY hope she'll respect our boundaries. If she can do this, then I don't mind her helping at all. We'll see. We know how she is though, don't we?

And then of course, there's the reason for this whole entire post: Seoul. You know why we named her that, don't you? Because Jeremy and I met and fell in love in Seoul. Susie, her middle name, is another tribute to my mom, whose middle name was Sue. We'd discussed that our 2nd child would always be named Seoul, regardless of gender. It was the middle name that would be different if it was a boy or girl. If we were having a boy, Seoul's middle name would have been Michael, just like my father.

You know, already, we're getting bugged by people to have a 3rd child. NO. No way. I am enjoying not being pregnant anymore, thankyouverymuch, though I will always be supremely grateful that I got to experience such a special thing twice in my life. When we were still in the hospital, MIL and Jeremy were talking and I could hear them talking about x and y chromosomes. I asked why and Jeremy said his mother said that the next one would be a boy. I said that he better tell her to find another family to annoy because 2 children is plenty for me. I'm 38 and have had 2 c-sections now. I'm not having a 3rd child as I go into my 40s. NO. When we left the hospital, one of the staff members there said we should try for a boy next. GOD! What IS it with Asians and boys?!? They are not everything! Urgh!

So how is Seoul? Well, she's, so far, a very sweet and relatively easy-going baby. Raelynn, as much as we love her, was a very difficult baby. She cried ALL the time. About EVERYTHING. She's a wonderful child but we were exhausted with her as a baby. Seoul seems to have a very different personality. But one thing's for sure...Raelynn loves her little sister. The first couple days have been rough but Raelynn is learning to be helpful and not to make too much noise when her sister sleeps. I hope these 2 will be the best of friends as they grow up. Nothing makes me happier than to give these girls that amazing sibling experience I had growing up with my brother, Phillip.

Raelynn loves Seoul, and no, she's not the reason Seoul's crying here. When Seoul started crying, Raelynn climbed up next to her to comfort her. Awwww!

I still can't believe I have a family of 4 now. I still can't believe this little person came out of me. And I still can't believe Raelynn was ever this small. She seems so gigantic and grown up now. It's trippy. What's craziest of all is that during my pregnancy, I remember asking my dad if I would love both of my children. How will I love them both? He assured me I would absolutely love them both. I never could have imagined loving someone as much as I love Raelynn, and that's no dis on my husband. He knows just what I mean by that. But as I held Seoul one night in our hospital room, I was talking to her and she just looked up at me and I cried. And I realized I just love her so much. I love her with every bit of my heart. And with my whole soul (or should I say Seoul), just the way I love Raelynn.

You were right, Daddy. Just like always.

And I'm quite certain Jeremy feels exactly the same way.

Indecent Exposure: Spongebob Edition

Jeremy went into work a bit late today in order to help me take Raelynn for a vaccination. Because all of this is in Chinese, my husband takes responsibility for paying attention to when she's had to go in the past and made sure all her shots are in order. Now it seems we only have to deal with this once a year, which is great because Raelynn is now of the age where she knows what's about to go down. Poor girl.

We get to the vaccination place and it looks a lot cleaner than I remember. Maybe it felt dirtier because there were more people in there on my previous visits though I haven't been in a while. Before Raelynn started going to school, my in-laws would take her. We waited on line to check in and a woman in front of us was asking a million inane questions. She was annoying everyone on line right along with us. It's hot in there and I notice with mild amusement, there's a wall unit A/C set to 26 Celcius and the window beside it is open. Brilliant. Only in Asia. As the idiotic woman with too many questions gabbed away, Raelynn began to realize what was about to happen and began to get squirmy and upset. I struggled to hold on to her, bribing her with the promise of ice cream in her very near future which seemed to do the trick. Temporarily. We finally finish checking in and then have to wait on the line for the actual vaccination.

In that room, they had the A/C set to 26 Celcius as well, but at least the windows were closed so it was a lot cooler in there. And again, Stupid-Asking-Too-Many-Questions-Lady was in front, asking more stupid questions, to the point that Raelynn and the 2 other children in line began freaking out because they definitely knew what was in store for them. The people behind us complained to my husband about this woman and how her prolonging the process for everyone was making the other children upset when it should really be a quick thing. I agreed. I had Jeremy restrain Raelynn while the nurse administered the shot. When she cried, I cried, because I'm 9 months pregnant and because I cannot stand for Raelynn to be in any pain. When she hurts, I hurt. So I hugged her and kissed her and assured her we were going home for ice cream immediately.

As we were leaving the hospital parking lot, Raelynn noticed a man just outside the parking gate with a big bunch of balloons. You see these guys everywhere here and I thought this guy's pretty damn smart to sit outside the children's hospital where many crying children come and go. What a brilliant way to sell off your balloons. Many times when we see these kinds of people at the shopping malls or beaches, we placate Raelynn with a "we'll see" but today seemed like a perfect time to give in and buy her a balloon. Jeremy pulled up to him and, at Raelynn's request, asked for the Spongebob balloon.

And now we had a happy kid again, completely forgetting the horrible sting moments before from her vaccination. She had a Spongebob balloon and she was going to get a big bowl of ice cream. Things were looking up.

We arrive home shortly after and as Jeremy and I frantically turn on both A/C units to full blast arctic cold, I notice something. The Spongebob balloon seems to have an unintentional wang. Seriously.

 Raelynn almost seems to be wondering the same thing. Here's a better view of our indecently exposed Spongebob...

 It was all we could do to not keel over and die from laughter once we realized it looked like Spongebob was hanging loose. Next time, we'll buy her a genital-free balloon.

Don't Poke The Bear

If you've ever been pregnant, or like me ARE pregnant, you know how your hormones can seriously make you feel like you could snap a person in half like a twig with your bare hands. If you've never experienced pregnancy first-hand, perhaps you have known a pregnant person (sister, cousin, friend, co-worker, etc.) and if so, hopefully you haven't done anything to incur their wrath.

Because to piss off a pregnant woman is totally like poking a bear. A big mean, mama bear who will crush you like a fucking bug, rip you from limb to limb and rip out your vital organs one by one.

But let's say you're a person who has no clue how to keep from severely pissing off a pregnant woman to the point of no return. What about those people?

Yes, exactly. You're a dumb ass to the extreme if you do that. Guess who's on today's dumb ass list?

Surly the Bus Driver caused me to come thisclose to a homicidal rage. I seriously doubt that if I had killed him anyone would be upset by it or blame me in the slightest. The bus Surly drives has windows that do not open. There is a ceiling hatch toward the front, right by where I sit with Raelynn. There's also one in the back. When weather is nice, opening these provides a lovely breeze. There's also air-conditioning. Which you have to practically beg him to turn on. Today wasn't too hot but because it had rained earlier in the day, I guess Surly shut the ceiling hatches to keep from getting the seats wet. But the rain was long gone when we got on the bus to go home. I fanned at myself desperately and even loudly mentioned, in Chinese, that it was hot. But Surly didn't take the hint. Why should he? He's a man in China that drives a bus and sits next to the only opening window on the bus for that matter.

He starts the engine and I have a brief glimmer of hope that he'll turn on the A/C today. But no. He keeps driving and I feel my blood start to boil and pound in my head. Kill, kill, kill! The first grade teacher also rides my same bus and recently, had an unfortunate accident while walking about, causing her to break her foot and hobble around on crutches. I seriously SERIOUSLY contemplated taking one of her crutches to bust out the windows. Or smash Surly in the head.

I turned to one of the Chinese teachers on the bus and asked her to help me ask him to please at least open the fucking ceiling hatch. At the next traffic light, Surly saved his life by complying with that request. Somehow, Raelynn slept through all this which is odd because usually, when she's too hot, she refuses to sleep. I guess I got lucky with that today. Once the air started circulating through the bus, my urge to kill began subsiding. I still feel a twinge of rage though at Surly and other people in Asia in general who do not open the windows on a nice day to circulate the air or turn on the A/C. There is a special place in hell for people like this.

Just as my rage was subsiding and I was finally mellowing out to some tunes on my iPod, we get to our stop. FIL is there waiting for us as always. He boards the bus to help me carry Raelynn. I'd put a very light sweater on Raelynn this morning because in the morning, she needed it, which is the nice part about June in Qingdao. But in the afternoon, especially on Surly's bus of hellish heat, it wasn't necessary. She didn't want to wear it anymore and I couldn't blame her. On Fridays, the children bring home a bunch of extra stuff so there was no room in her bag for the sweater. There was no room in my handbag either so I just tied it to the straps. As FIL starts to lift up Raelynn, he points to the sweater urgently, like it's so fucking cold outside that she needs this sweater. I suddenly wished I'd found a way to make that sweater fit in the bag so he would shut the fuck up. He kept gesturing toward it wildly and I snatched my bag away from him and hissed. Seriously, I hissed. Like an angry animal. I gave him THE meanest fucking look I've ever given him and told him to go. Which in retrospect might have pissed him off because "gao" (pronounced "go" by most Chinese) means "dog" which is considered insulting but my first instinct is to speak in my first language and I can't help that. But I make no apologies because this man doesn't deserve them. I've been pissy with him since he screamed at my husband and insulted our parenting. Go fuck yourself, FIL.

Even if we had been on the best of terms and this occurred, I think what FIL did next was extremely passive aggressive and fucked up to do to a woman who is in her last week of her 8th month of pregnancy. He walked ahead of me carrying Raelynn, which is no big deal since I'm pregnant and obviously a lot slower now. But when he got to our building door, instead of holding it like he's done many times before as I was just a few steps behind him, he let it shut, which causes a loud clanking sound. Shockingly, Raelynn slept through this still. What the fuck is wrong with you that you would let a door slam in my face to be an asshole to me so that you can potentially wake your grandchild who NEEDS that nap she's taking?!? He did it again when we got up the stairs to my apartment. He didn't shut the door completely so I didn't need to dig for my keys but then again, perhaps he was trying to keep flies and mosquitoes out which maybe I'll give him the benefit of the doubt on this door-closing. But the building door? No, that fool did it on purpose.

Once inside, he of course was looking for Raelynn's blanket to put on her. He's at least been going for a light sheet I showed him. But last night in the very wee hours, Raelynn came to sleep with us and brought her light sheet with her. I'd forgotten to put it back on her bed. So FIL is asking where it is. I go to get it and before I can turn around, he's snatching it right from my hand in my room. Seriously, FUCK YOU FIL. You are so lucky we weren't in the kitchen and near the knives because I would have cut you. And my husband and your wife would not have been angry about that. AT ALL.

In fact, some good did come of this. When Jeremy arrived home, I told him what had happened today. He was talking to his mom about it and she said from now on, she would come meet me at the bus stop. And she promised that while we were in the hospital having the baby, she would not leave her husband alone with Raelynn. She's slowly but surely learning to adjust to our blended culture, even though her cooking still sucks. But I'll take her shitty cooking in exchange for the safety of my daughter any day.

To The Mom In The McDonald's At Wanda Plaza

What a truly shitty weekend this was. All 3 of us got sick. I've been sick since last week with a sore throat that turned into the disappearance of my voice, then morphed into rivers of snot and phlegm and a horrible cough that hurts my head. Jeremy and Raelynn soon followed suit so off to the doctor we went. Being pregnant, I can't do anything about it except drink ginger tea and eat cough drops. And suffer. But at least we could get Raelynn back to feeling better. She was such a trooper, so my husband suggested we stop for donuts at the Wanda Plaza mall, which is close to our home.

I was excited too. Donuts! Korea is totally a donut-loving country. But China? These people seriously need some education on why donuts should be available on every corner. That's why I was so delighted when we discovered a place called Donut Stop in the Wanda Plaza mall. We hurried up to the second floor, across from the McDonald's and stopped cold. Where did it go? Instead, there was some crappy Chinese bakery that, despite looking nice, had stupid Engrish on the front. Things like "fashion-baking." Whatever the fuck that means. We went in and my husband asked about the donut shop. They said it closed down. I stormed out. I don't want your shitty baked goods. I HATE YOU! You destroyed my donut dreams!

Raelynn had also requested ice cream, and took the news of the donut shop's closure much better than I did. Now where the fuck am I supposed to get my donut fix? Stupid Qingdao. I hate this uncultured city. But at least we do have McDonald's. So my husband suggested we get some ice cream from there. Raelynn was on board and I thought what the hell. But ice cream turned into fries and lunch along with it.

I'll admit the ice cream cheered me up a bit but I'm still sad Donut Stop is gone. That place was as close to Dunkin Donuts in taste as we were going to get in this hole. Now I have to wait until we go up to Beijing to find donuts.

But something, aside from salty fries, double cheeseburgers and ice cream, turned my mood around. At the booth across from us was a Chinese family. A mom, dad and their small baby boy, who I would estimate to be between 6 and 9 months. The adults were having ice cream. And the baby? He soon began fussing. I saw the mom fumble with him and I knew what she was trying to do. She was trying to breastfeed him. Unfortunately, she was a bit large so she couldn't situate herself in the booth without hitting her kid in the head on the table so she trotted off to an empty table in the rear. I wanted to tell her to keep being awesome. I didn't want to startle her though. The heat in the restaurant was unbearable, as at this time of year, people are too cheap to turn on the A/C, even big places like McD's. My husband stepped outside because he could no longer wait for Raelynn to finish eating her ice cream at a snail's pace. I wanted him to come back so he could help me tell this woman that I hope she breastfeeds her son until he's ready to wean. That she tells her mom friends to breastfeed. That she never experiences shame when doing something so natural.

It made me happy because many Chinese women are uneducated about breastfeeding. Despite this though, people here are never rude to you for breastfeeding in public. So, in the off chance that mom might read English, I'm sorry you left before I had the chance to tell you to keep up the great work breastfeeding your son. From the American gal with the darling daughter who cried when we finished all the French fries but then stopped when she realized there was ice cream.

The Electric Co.

If you're a U2 fan, then perhaps the title of this post causes you to smile and sing:
Boy, stupid boy
Don't sit at the table
Until you're able to
Toy, broken toy

Thanks to the "boy, stupid boy" part, this song was one of my favorites as a little girl and this will probably always be one of my favorite U2 songs ever (take a listen here). But this post is not about U2. It's about the actual electric company. And maybe only marginally involves Bono and the band for I did revert to playing this song over and over inside my head while my husband blabbered on and on about the electric company. Allow me to explain...

Here, you get your electric bill every 2 months. So your charges are for 2 months. My husband had previously yammered on and on about how if you exceed a certain amount of electric usage per month, the government charges you something extra or something something. Oh go ahead and make fun of me for not knowing. It was THE most boring conversation you could ever hope to have with someone, even if it's someone you love as dearly as I do my husband. Anyway, our charges for the last 2 months amount to a little over 700 yuan. To anyone not living in China, this means jack shit. Let me break that down for you all. The US dollar is worth about 1 to every 6 yuan (roughly speaking) so would mean this bill is worth a little over $100 US. For 2 months. In the summer. Yeah. So I'm fine with it of course.

Jeremy, who makes it a hobby of complaining about how expensive EVERYTHING is, tells me about this electric bill and in the same breath says that his parents only had a 60 yuan bill. For 2 months. In the summer.

How is this possible, you ask? Well, for starters, my in-laws NEVER use hot water. They do not have hot water in their sinks, meaning their dishes are always germy since they wash them with cold water (another reason to avoid visiting their home, as if I needed one). They do not have a water heater. Their shower is solar powered. We have a solar powered shower AND one powered by a water heater. The solar powered one is just fine on a sunny summer day. But in winter you are S.O.L. if you want a hot shower. I think that is why most geriatric Chinese people (like my in-laws for example) skip showering during this time. As if they weren't stinky enough.

Next up: laundry. I do laundry every 2 to 3 days, depending on if there have been any poop explosions from the baby or not. Today, I did 2 loads - one for our clothing and the other for our floor mats and kitchen towels because everything was filthy, especially the floor mat in front of the bathroom, thanks to MIL who wipes her fugly-ass granny shoes on it when she comes and goes despite being told many times by my husband not to do that (and to instead, wipe her feet on the mat IN FRONT OF THE FRONT DOOR). I sincerely doubt my in-laws do so much laundry as they wear the same few things every day. And they don't have a poopy-pants baby in their home who has lots of little things for me to wash.

And we've got the big one now: air conditioning. We're paying now for 2 months of electric usage. Since it was just summer, we're paying for all the electricity we consumed during that time. We have 2 wall-mounted units. One is in our bedroom and the other is in Raelynn's room. And if you have no idea how I feel about being hot in the summer and/or enduring someplace that lacks A/C, please click here. So given that we ran the air a lot, especially in August, it's no wonder our bill was in the 700s.With as much as we used the A/C, I'd say this 700 yuan is a bargain. But my in-laws can't believe it. As you may have guessed, the hideous troll and her husband do not have an air conditioner. Of course they don't! They don't even have an actual toilet so why would you expect them to have air conditioning?!? They might as well sell their house and go live in a tent somewhere. Somewhere far away, preferably.

Let's not forget we've got a big and awesome refrigerator, which uses up lots of energy too. Maybe THAT is why MIL unplugged it! I can assure you that even though my in-laws have a refrigerator (an old, small one) that they store food outside on the window ledge. This is such an older Chinese person thing. I may have mentioned this in one of my posts a while back, while I was still pregnant with Raelynn but I am too tired and lazy to go looking for it now. MIL used to store some food items outside on our window ledge too. Which did bother me though because it wasn't in a place that got direct sunlight and it was beyond frigidly cold outside, I decided to let it go. That is until one day while in our kitchen, I watched with a mixture of amusement and disgust as a bird swooped in and began chowing down on the offerings. From then on, MIL's outside kitchen was closed. At our house at least. You can bet on it that she keeps food outside on her window ledge. And she'll probably still eat it, even if a bird munches on it or shits on it too.

Then there are smaller things, like the filter for the fish tank. Or the satellite dish. Or our 2 laptops. Or the oven, which I tend to favor when cooking since it's healthier than frying everything. My in-laws don't have any of those things. I don't know what they do when they are at their house. It is very boring there. They have Chinese cable TV, but as I've said before, even Jeremy states quite plainly that Chinese TV is very boring. But not to them. MIL and FIL just love those shitty singing shows. Not like an American Idol type of thing. Like these dreadful dinner and a show type things that  you'd see on a cruise to hell. In fact, I do have pictures of that in this post (just scroll to the end for those). They don't have any books or magazines over at their house that I have ever seen at least. So, if they just sit and stare at the walls, and perhaps occasionally, the TV, and then they don't bathe and then go to bed at 9pm, well, then it is easy to see why their electric bill is only 60 yuan for 2 months.

But wait! Let's not forget the troll is here Monday through Friday to watch Raelynn while we're working. Sometimes FIL comes too (I can always tell because Raelynn's room is even messier as he lets her destroy papers and magazines and doesn't dare to clean it up). So here they are using our electric, cooking on our stove, using our lights, watching our Chinese cable (we have that as a back up for when the satellite isn't coming in, or when these 2 morons come over) and unplugging our refrigerator and causing our kitchen sink to leak (I swear, I am writing about that one next...hopefully tomorrow if I have a moment). So yeah, that clinches it for me. Next time Jeremy opens his mouth to complain about this one, I'll remind him who is here in our house all day long. Of course, with how much his mom talks, you could easily say her mouth has used up all the power. If only there was a way to turn that noise off. Maybe Jeremy could ask the electric company!

I Hate You, August!

This is what it feels like outside in August. Stupidest month of the year. Go away! Come on September!


I just want to say that if your name is August, I do not hate you. Any person named August is fine by me. We had some really nice neighbors growing up and the dad was named August. Thanks to Facebook, my brother and I reconnected with these old neighbors and were saddened to learn that August had passed away a few years ago. Actually, I've never met another person named August. But one can assume that with a name like that, you were born in August. And it is August THE MONTH that I hate. I truly loathe it all the more living here too.

Historically, August was the month you'd head back to school after summer vacation. So screw you, August! And on the other end of it as a teacher, I'm equally as bummed about heading back to school again. August sucks!

Growing up in Florida (or Flori-DUH as my friend Aaron and I like to call it), you'd get lots of tropical storms and hurricanes in August. There was the unforgettable Hurricane Andrew of course which leveled Homestead. Yeah. August sucks!

Last August at this time, my parents were here meeting my husband for the first time as well as their only grandchild. Perhaps because of their visit, this month didn't piss me off nearly as much. We rented a car and hired a driver (as this was before Jeremy began driving) because August here in Qingdao is the peak point in tourist season. As if this place wasn't crowded enough. Stand there and flail your arms all you want. You can't get a taxi. Because there are no taxis. All the hicks from China have come to see the beaches. Plus tourists from other Asian countries. And don't forget the beer festival! EVERYONE is in Qingdao right now. The buses suck even more than usual in addition to not being air conditioned because the tourists who can't get a taxi will just hop on there. And just try to go to lunch somewhere downtown! If you're here now, STAY AWAY FROM JUSCO!

Having our own car didn't help much today. Jeremy did an excellent job navigating through the miles of bumper-to-bumper traffic though. When he suggested we go to the Korean restaurant at the Jusco, I protested, saying it would be a zoo. How about the one by Qingdao University? Oh but no. It fell on deaf ears and suddenly, we were with every other person in Qingdao waiting to get a fucking table in a mall so crowded, it reminded me of the malls back home during the most wonderful time of the year, filled with not-so-merry last-minute Christmas shoppers. Despite the A/C being on in this restaurant, it was still nauseatingly hot as we waited to be seated. Raelynn slept in her stroller and as I watched her sleeping peacefully, I knew she'd wake up in just enough time to be a screamy, fussy mess that would force us to gulp down our food so we could leave faster.

Suddenly, I heard a familiar voice. "Teacher!" I look up. There's a cute little boy and I realize it's my little nose-picker, Peter. He's gotten taller in just one month since I've seen him. Amazing! So his family comes over to see the baby. I have never seen this boy more quiet before. EVER. He's really cute when he's quiet. Then again, aren't they all? Soon after we see Peter's family, we're seated at a table. Where, just as I predicted, Raelynn shrieked and carried on, causing us to take home part of our meal.

And that is the other reason I hate August, perhaps the biggest reason of all: IT'S SO FUCKING HOT! Everywhere you go, it's hot. We've talked about this before of course but in August, it is so much worse. Take the Jusco mall today for example. You walk in and A/C slaps you in the face. Ahhh! But keep walking and there are throngs and throngs of people, all of them making it hotter in there. Then, because it is Asia and people here LOVE to open windows AND run the A/C as if that makes any fucking sense at all, you walk by the stairwell and the windows there are open. And hot, humid air comes in like a noxious, suffocating gas.

So, too many tourists, not enough taxis, not enough air conditioning, traffic jams, and horribly hot and humid weather are the many reasons why I despise August. Tomorrow is my last day of vacation and you better believe that screamy baby and I will be sitting here with the A/C cranked up, enjoying ice cream and not sweating like I would when I do one of my workouts while all the other fools run around this town, so drenched in sweat it looks like they might have actually showered. But upon closer inspection you know damn well no soap smells like B.O. 

Turn On The A/C Already!!!

Have you heard about those power outages, affecting millions of Americans? Maybe you're one of those poor folks, and if you are, I'm sorry and I hope your electricity returns soon. I'm sure those people would have their air conditioning units running full-blast right now if they had a way to power it.

Here in China, I appreciate every air-conditioned moment I've got, for they don't come easy. Even in my own home. We have 2 wall units: one is in our bedroom and the other is in Raelynn's room. I have to admit that we actually didn't even need to turn on our A/C until the last few days of June. It was truly breezy and nice outside, especially at night. But in a matter of days, it turned into that brutally hot summer weather and air conditioning became a necessity, in my eyes at least.

Before taking a much-deserved shower at the end of my day, I turned on our air. Jeremy, ever the penny-pincher, tells me I should wait until I get out of the shower to turn it on. Which to me makes no sense because I'm taking a shower because I feel hot, sweaty and sticky. Why would I take a shower and then walk back into hot, sweaty and sticky conditions? I won that war but very late that same night, I awoke. Not to my daughter's screams, thankfully. But to an overwhelming feeling of hot. I was sweating as though I'd had a nightmare. Why was I so fucking hot? And then, as Jeremy snored away, I noticed that he, at some point, had turned off the air while I slept in my mock-arctic bliss.

So why does he do stupid shit like that? Because his parents (and every other Chinese person ever) think the cost electricity generated from an air unit is akin to the astronomical national debt. Seriously. It does not cost THAT much to cool down our house. And it would stay cooler too IF YOU AND YOUR CRAZY PARENTS WOULDN'T OPEN THE FUCKING WINDOWS WHILE RUNNING THE A/C! Sweet merciful crap!

I can't stay cool at school either. There, I have to share an office with 4 Korean teachers, our director (also Korean) and the other English teacher (who happens to be French). And I like all of them until it comes to concerns about turning on the air conditioner. Well, the other English teacher had no right to complain the other day because she showed up to work dressed like she was going to a kegger on the beach. She had on a tank top that gaped at her underarm, revealing her bra, and way-too-short jean shorts. She has the figure for it but it was absolutely inappropriate to wear to work. She whined that she was cold and I shot her a look that would have frozen anything solid in its tracks. PUT ON SOME FUCKING CLOTHES! What cracks me up most about that is every other day, she dresses like it's winter outside. Long sleeves and jeans, sometimes long sleeves and capri pants. I think her icy personality probably contributes to her constant chilliness but that's a whole 'nother story.

And speaking of different stories, the Koreans are a whole different genre. ALL of them get cold quickly. But at least none of them show up wearing skimpy tank tops and daisy dukes. My boss, Lesley, is always dressed immaculately. The woman has incredible style. She's very classy. But she's always cold too, despite dressing in clothes that cover her quite well. As for the other Korean teachers, in Korean culture, they do not speak up to someone in authority if they disagree. So, for example, if Lesley changes the schedule on us, they just smile and nod and go along with it. If she turns off the air and it's hot, they smile and nod too. But an American like me will speak up. And for that, my Korean teacher, Christina, is grateful. I think even Kelly and Eunice, two of the other Korean teachers, don't want to be trapped in a room with humid air occasionally wafting in from one window that Lesley has opened just a slit.

Then, there's Eun Ah. I've mentioned her before. She complains when I turn on the air in our office. And in her classroom - where I have to go each afternoon to teach the four year olds for 30 minutes - she NEVER turns on the air. NEVER! She just opens the fucking windows even if it is hot and humid and there's no breeze and her poor little students are drenched in sweat. I'm sorry, but I shouldn't have to fucking sweat at my job. I can't take off my clothes. I don't understand what is so fucking hard about bringing a sweater or jacket with you in case you get cold. At least the semester is almost over (2 days left - yay!) and I get a month of vacation. A vacation where I can play at home with Raelynn, who also hates being hot, with the A/C units cranked to full blast.

3 Cheers For The Bus Driver (UPDATED!!!)

The bus pictured above is from an entirely different city in China and is being used for illustration purposes. Because blogs look better with some sort of picture. This bus is much cleaner and nicer than the one described below.

Today, my husband invited his mother over. But much to my surprise, he had done so in order for the 2 of us to get out of the house without the baby. Since Raelynn survived almost a full week of Grandma's annoying voice, I figured she'd be just fine for a few hours. And so, Xiaolong and I set off in search of new decorations for our home (as we are trying to replace many of the things here since, if you haven't read any of my older posts, this home was a wedding gift from my in-laws and all of the decor is their horrible taste. For photos, see In-Law Interior Designs).

I must admit, Qingdao isn't as horribly hot as Florida though no one here cranks the A/C like they do back home. But now that it's July, there is little escape from the heat. As unfortunate as it is that people don't run their A/C as strong as they should when it's hot like this, it's even more unfortunate that the buses don't even come equipped with it. Opening the windows does make for a nice breeze but that doesn't cut it when you're so sweaty that your sweat is sweating. That's why I can't blame the bus driver on the number 4 bus for his outfit. Not entirely anyway.

I apologize that today was one of the few times I forgot to take my camera with me. Then again, maybe it is best I spared your eyeballs after all. My husband had his camera phone but the seats we found were on opposite sides of the bus from each other and a sea of smelly soap-less people kept each of us with our faces close to the windows. It was impossible for me to get his attention during this time. Plus, I had the better view of this shocking ensemble. The bus driver wore very short black shorts that he'd hiked up to his crotch some more and as if this wasn't nauseating enough, he wore a half shirt that exposed his flabby belly. Now, he wasn't horribly fat or anything though his stomach did roll over the top of those shorts. Anyway, he was in no kind of shape to go around in public like that especially while at work driving a bus! I stared in awe at this majestically disgusting creature as if I'd stumbled upon some alternate universe. Who let him show up for his job like that?!? And who let him perform his job in that outfit?!?

It made me think of that song we all used to sing as kids. Remember?
Three cheers for the bus driver, the bus driver, the bus driver!
Three cheers for the bus driver who drove us today!
He drinks, he smokes, he tells dirty jokes!
Three cheers for the bus driver who drove us today!
His eyebrows are mushy! He has a fat tushy!
Three cheers for the bus driver who drove us today!
He drives off the road! He looks like a toad!
Three cheers for the bus driver who drove us today!

Well, his outfit inspired me to add my own verses to this campy song from my childhood. Feel free to sing them aloud to yourselves...
Three cheers for the bus driver, the bus driver, the bus driver!
Three cheers for the bus driver who drove us today!
He wears daisy dukes! They reveal flabby glutes!
Three cheers for the bus driver who drove us today!
His shirt shows his belly! It jiggles like jelly!
Three cheers for the bus driver who drove us today!
Those shorts are so teeny! I almost saw weeny!
Three cheers for the bus driver who drove us today!
He looks like a troll with that tummy roll!
Three cheers for the bus driver who drove us today!

I could probably make more verses but for now, I think I've sufficiently laughed myself to death. Next time, I promise to take the camera with me in case we get the same bus driver when we take bus 4 or when we see other assorted fashion WTFs around here.

UPDATED!!!
Maybe those in charge of public transportation here in Qingdao are reading my blog. I say this because the bus drivers are now being made to wear uniforms. Perhaps because it is tourist season and the officials want people to come back to Qingdao again next year instead of scaring them away with nightmarish images of flabby stomachs jiggling with every bump in the road. For whatever reason, thank you! Now, if you could get people to use soap, stop spitting everywhere, and put diapers on their kids so they don't pee and poop all over the streets like dogs, that would be much appreciated.