Friday, August 1, 2014
What Were You Thinking?!?
My husband is hanging his hypothetical tail between his legs this evening. Poor Jeremy...what's he done to incur Jennifer's wrath? He INVITED his mother over during dinner. Not to eat - she would never even try anything I cook (yet I am constantly being forced to eat her vomitous creations and expected to smile about it) - but to "relieve your burden" while you cook your Friday night dinner. Say what?!?
See, we have an agreement. She comes Monday through Thursday to cook us dinner (if you can even call the slop she makes a proper meal such as dinner). And in the mornings during weekdays, she comes to pick up Raelynn and take her to the park so I can catch up on the sleep I missed while nursing Seoul half the night and enjoy a little bit of quiet before my chatterbox toddler returns. She's not supposed to come Friday nights or at all on any part of the weekend. Ever.
But Jeremy invited her tonight. He apologized, saying he felt he had to because she just wanted to help. Help what? Help me blow my fuse? Sure, have that old bag come on over and gabble on and on about dumb shit and make clicking noises at my precious baby while I cook dinner and resist the urge to stab her with the knives or bang the frying pan repeatedly upside her head.
And let's not kid ourselves that she'd be relieving my burden. She enhanced it. Raelynn threw a tantrum and instead of being useful and helpful during this time, she just sat there with the baby. The baby was sleeping. You could have put her in her crib or even her awesome new chair (which you better not break or I will totally break your face) but no. I know why you really came over, you manipulative cow. You didn't want to help me. You wanted to help yourself to holding the baby. You always do shit like this and I have to smile and pretend it's ok even though if I want nothing more than to tell you to go away. I have to be polite to make my husband happy. I have honored what my end of the agreement - to be polite and not scream at you (in any language). But I always find myself being taken advantage of because you push and manipulate your son and then he feels obligated to bend the rules for you. And now he realizes how much that sucks for me as I start crying while making him something truly delicious - chicken breasts stuffed with garlic herb cheese served with linguini and caper sauce - not the kind of crap you make that I wouldn't even serve to our family dog back home. He knows it's unfair and yet because you're "old" you play that card all the time. At least he has enough sense to make it up to me by taking me out to do something I want to do, taking over one of my Mommy chores, buying me something shiny or preventing you from putting us in this awkward position in the future. Hopefully he'll do all those things. In the meantime, I pray every single day that I will be able to move my little family of 4 far away from you.