Small Chinese New Year 2015

Fireworks outside our bedroom window last night.

Last night was the Small Chinese New Year celebration. You might find this surprising but when it comes to Chinese holidays, particularly anything to do with Chinese New Year (CNY), I really don't mind my in-laws being around. They come here, which beats going to their house any day, because we've got Raelynn and Seoul. It's much easier to endure the holiday in the comfort of our home as opposed to the filth of theirs.

So how was this little pre-celebration of what is soon to be the year of the sheep - or goat, depending on who you ask...there seems to be a bit of debate about which creature it is and all the merchandise for this year's holiday reflects this confusion by selling calendars with goats on them and then sheep stuffed animals and all sorts of lanterns and decor with both animals on them...meh, enough about that! Let's talk festivities, shall we?

 It's true that MIL cooks well for the holidays, but I was really disappointed to see such ordinary offerings. Cut off in the back is some fried fish which she has been making us A LOT lately for regular non-holiday dinners. We also have steamed shrimp, cucumbers with crushed garlic and a plate of cashews. To see why I find this meal so ho-hum and lackluster, click here to see last year's Small Chinese New Year feast.

 OMFG, my kitchen! Ok, calm down, calm down. She's busy cooking so I can't get mad at the mess...unless she leaves it like this when she goes home. Thankfully, she didn't. She cleaned everything up. And wow, for once, she's not wearing mismatched clothes. Amazing!

Incidentally, this is the other kitchen counter while she's in there cooking. Good grief! Even when I cooked Christmas dinner, the kitchen wasn't quite this messy!

 From this angle, you can see the fried fish better. You can also see this bok choy and mushroom dish. It wasn't awful, but I felt it was too salty. Sidenote: I was holding Seoul on my lap as we ate and she's such a sneaky little thing...she shot her little hand out and stuck it right into this dish. Babies are so hilarious!

 Now there's some Western-style ham slices and a bowl of crushed garlic and sesame oil that is supposed to be a sauce for that ham. Yeah. For me, it's a yes to the ham and a big fat no to the sauce. It amazes me they want to cover up the taste of the ham with something so sharp and strong as garlic.

You'll also notice the dish of ribs on the table. I was skeptical. MIL makes ribs often enough. The meat falls off the bone, which is lovely, but the flavor is just very mediocre. But not these. Oh no. These had a hint of garlic and something else I couldn't place. I had tried one to be polite. I wound up eating quite a few after that. Jeremy said she learned a new technique. I told him to tell her to always make her ribs this way. They were excellent. Good job, MIL!

 To the untrained eye, you'd think this was some noodle dish. It's not though. This is tofu cut into noodle-like ribbons. She's cooked it with leeks and shrimp. Normally, she makes this taste so bland. What she did different this time, I can't be sure but it was delicious. I'm not a fan of Chinese noodles because they always taste so mushy and floury, so having her make tofu in the style of a noodle is so much better. The tofu texture makes all the difference in this dish.

 Awww yeah...I'm kickin' it with imported beer. We had a selection of Danish and German beer we bought from the wholesale market near our house. Unfortunately, my in-laws have managed to destroy all our beer mugs, leaving us coffee mugs as our only option. The look on my face says it all, doesn't it? I'm so cool I drink my beer out of a coffee mug. Try not to hate, y'all.

It's luo bo! Not again! But hey, she's cut it all fancy and put a really nice dressing on it. I had to leave the table for a while to put Seoul to bed (a very difficult chore indeed with all the fireworks popping outside but somehow I was successful) and when I returned, she'd put this in another bowl with orange zest. Jeremy claims it was her idea but I think he had something to do with it. I can't imagine she'd think of doing that herself.

It's almost over, as you may be able to tell from the mostly picked-apart dishes. The dumplings came out after everything else. How were they? Meh, they're the same dumplings she's been making a lot recently so I'm not too excited about them. It could be that I'm sick of being served dumplings all the time. It could be that in my American brain, I feel like dumplings are something you have a few of, like an appetizer, before moving on to another dish. Or it could just be that these dumplings are just there. They're not bad but they're not amazing either. I hope the ones she makes for CNY are more exciting than these.

And finally, as I've said before, if you're at a big Chinese meal, you'll know when it's coming to a close when they trot out a large, whole steamed fish. This was always one of the dishes MIL cooks well but in recent months, she has changed up her sauce. She used to use a very savory and salty brown sauce. But this sauce is made with marinated red peppers. It has a bit of a kick to it, but not too much. And it's really really REALLY good. It's a great way to finish up a great meal.

She'll make this for CNY as she must for tradition's sake. Jeremy also asked her to make a few dishes I really like for next week's big celebration. I love CNY! Here's hoping that this year of the sheep (or goat) and the upcoming new year give us many wonderful things to celebrate!

Happy Wacky 2015!

A very belated Happy New Year to you all! How did you spend it? Falling asleep before midnight, like we've been doing the past few years since having children? Maybe one day I will make it past midnight. At least this year, I had an excuse besides the children.

Before the end of the year, I'd gotten a cough. It wasn't much more than that. Just a hacking, annoying cough that I likely picked up from one of my germy students. Or Raelynn. She was coughing too. But then she got a fever right before the kindergarten performance. We took her to the doctor after and consulted him about my cough as well. We each got some medicine and figured that would be the end of it.

A day or two later, Seoul had a fever and a very slight cough. Ugh. Here we go again. Another trip to the doctor. Medicine for her. Which worked...on the fever. The cough kept persisting.

Even through the new year. Onto New Year's Day, which is FIL's birthday. Since marrying my husband, I've always felt the new year started out in a crappy way each year because we'd have to celebrate FIL's birthday instead of relaxing without my in-laws. But now I think I've changed my mind.

There's worse things than a lunch full of food and booze.

Like taking your kids to the hospital.

I've said it before - in China and Korea, a trip to the hospital doesn't necessarily mean an emergency. It's just where you go for treatments and such. Whatever Raelynn had was much worse than we thought. She had to get an IV treatment for a total of 5 days. The good news was that she didn't have to stay in the hospital - she only had to come once a day for about an hour or two. On the third day of her treatments, I was feeling worse than ever. And Seoul's cough was getting worse. So I told Jeremy I wanted us to be checked out as well. Seoul, thankfully, just had a viral cold, the doctor told us. She prescribed some medicine and said the cough was not in her chest and she would be fine. It was a huge reassurance since I'd made myself insane looking online at the symptoms of RSV and Whooping Cough.

After we had her checked out, it was my turn. The doctor sent me down to radiology for a chest x-ray and then to have my blood tested. My father is a radiologist so this is a familiar area for me. How I wished he was there then! A ripple of terror ran through me as I stood there, positioned for my x-ray. What if it was cancer?

A man that the doctor was speaking to before us had a serious lung disease. I know this because Jeremy told me what they were saying. Here, it is very common for others to be in the room while you're being diagnosed or examined. Jeremy had shooed Seoul and me away from him but I figured the old guy had probably smoked all his life. And then it hit me. God. I was sooooooooooooooooo stupid for soooooooooooooooooooo many years. I smoked. God. Please don't let it be cancer.

A couple years ago, my brother sent me an email that he had written our dad, along with his response. My brother had asked him what had happened when Mom died. Phillip was 17 then and I was just 9, but his memory is blurry too. He couldn't remember how long she'd been sick with lung cancer and how we'd found out. My father said that one morning, Mom woke him up because she couldn't breathe. He took her to the hospital. They did an x-ray and when my father saw it, he fainted it. She had an extremely rare form of lung cancer. There was nothing Daddy or anyone could do. She was going to die. It was August 1985 when they found out about the cancer. She died on October 20, 1985. Yes, just months later. She was only 42. I'm 38. I'm getting close to that number.

I don't want to die young! I want to see my precious children grow up and have families of their own. I want to grow old with my husband.

And then, the x-ray was over. And the x-ray tech told me not to worry - it was not cancer. No sign of cancer! Thank God!

But guess what it was - bronchitis! Man, I have not had that since I was a heavy smoker years ago. The doctor prescribed some medicine that was safe to take while breastfeeding and told me to get bed rest.

That left me with a problem - how to rest AND take care of the children?
MIL.

I have to admit, she's been so helpful. She's the only one of us who can give the baby her medicine without her spitting it back up. Plus, I've been too weak to cook, much less make sure Raelynn eats properly. Either she's making good food or I've just been that sick that it doesn't taste so bad. Or I'm delirious.

Yes, it's a wacky new year, alright. I could look at it in 2 ways though - I could sit here and say this sucks and this is the shittiest new year ever, or I could think positively, learn from this and have a great year despite this bumpy start. I chose the latter.

I've learned that it's OK to ask for help when you need it. I've learned that I should be nicer to MIL because she does care about all of us and just wants to be helpful and useful. Yes, she's annoying sometimes and she will likely try to annoy me once I'm completely well and don't need her here from the time Jeremy goes off to work and then returns home again. I've learned to be grateful for what I've got and that I should think positively for 2015.

So that's what I'm going to do. Oh hey now. Don't worry. I'm still the same bitchy me. I'll find plenty to snark about, even MIL, as the year goes on. I'm just remembering a little humility, and that never hurt a person now did it?

Much excitement coming in the next few weeks but more rest is needed now. And with that, I'll leave you with some bad hospital Engrish. Wishing you all a prosperous and healthy 2015!

Resuscitation Roomg. I'd cut them a break if there were signs to Resuscitation Rooms A - F, but there were none anywhere else, leading me to conclude that they think that "roomg" is a word.

This one is a bit tougher to see. Let's see if you can spot the error.
Did you find it yet?
How about now?
Give up?
It says "Emergency Surgery Clinc Area." It's so subtle, I know but the "Clinc" made me giggle a bit.

Well, I'll Be!

Sometimes, MIL amazes me. Like when she made this...

Why, it's not barf in a bowl! It's yu xiang rou si, my favorite pork dish! It's thin slices of pork, potatoes, green peppers and carrots in a spicy yet sweet sauce. It rules. And hold on to your hat because I'm going to say something I very seldom say: MIL rocked it.

Yes. She really did. It was better than in any restaurant. No, I didn't bang my head on anything. I really, truly mean it. Remember, she does a wonderful job cooking for the Chinese New Year celebrations. So why then does everything else she makes look and taste like vomit? Jeremy may have found the answer.

She's lazy. He said he was talking to her about her cooking. She expressed disappointment that I was unhappy with her food. She didn't know what to make for me any more. So Jeremy reminded her that I don't like to eat the same things every single day and that I like variety. She complained that I don't like Chinese food and that's where he set her straight. No, Jennifer loves GOOD Chinese food. You keep slopping together things like you don't care about the ingredients. He told her if she made this dish, I'd be thrilled. Good job, Honey!

I wonder how many times she'll make it this week though. Oy.

MIL might have had some success with her cuisine this evening, but she did leave a bunch of questionable crap in the kitchen of course.

 A severed luo bo! Oh joy! Thank you!

 A partially used carrot. If we had snow (oh how I wish!), we could use this for a snowman's nose.

I'm not quite sure what's up with this. It seems to be the mixture she'd put into a dumpling in the same bowl as a raw egg. It's rather odd, even for her.

$10 says this hot mess is still out when I come home from work tomorrow.

I Can't Believe It

You're not going to believe this. I can't believe it myself. And I cannot even believe I'm about to say this but I must rescind what I said about MIL being the worst cook ever. She's not. She's now officially the 2nd worst cook.

I know. I KNOW. And just so we're clear, I'm not saying MIL is suddenly some 5-star chef. I'm simply saying that there is someone who is a much worse cook than her. Now that is truly tough to beat, isn't it?

So how did we find a worse cook than MIL? Gather around, my children and I will tell you the tale...

It all went down this weekend. Some friends of Jeremy's invited us to their home for lunch. They're a nice married couple with a new baby boy that's about 2 or 3 months older than Seoul (and incidentally, their baby is gigantic). The wife told us she wanted to make us dumplings and asked if we could come on Saturday, but we had plans to attend the big ISQ Christmas Fair that day so we told her we'd love to if it could happen on Sunday. So Sunday lunch it was.

But when we got there, there was an old Chinese woman just like MIL cooking away. It turned out to be her mom. The mom was cooking for us, not her. Regretfully, I did not take any photos. I was busy with Seoul who was fussy from not napping sufficiently enough prior to our arrival, but let me just tell you that they almost made MIL's bowl of barf look like a culinary masterpiece.

The dumplings looked even worse than MIL's. The casing was thick and floury like MIL's but what made them by and large far worse was that there wasn't much filling inside them. And the filling was gross on top of that. She made some other thing that looked like rubbery pig feet, something I wouldn't even eat on a good day. And she also made some cabbage salad, which honestly was the only slightly palatable option. The husband had picked up 2 dishes from a restaurant - sweet and sour pork, and some eggplant with squid dish. Clearly, the restaurant he chose these items from was sub-par. But the worst thing of all on the table was a large, whole fish. MIL makes one and I have mentioned in other posts that it is one of the few things she does rather well (click on this post and scroll down until you see the fish if you want a gander). This woman did not do this well. It looked dry, like someone had put it on to cook and somehow set it to cremate. It looked so dry that it might shatter with the touch of your chopsticks.

I thought maybe I was just being picky so I politely ate some of the food (but slowly so it looked like I was eating more than I was). Except for that fish. No way was I eating that thing. When some space opened on my plate after forcing myself to eat 5 dumplings, the mom piled more of them on my plate. Nooooooooooooo!

When we had sat down to eat, the wife had brought this weird sugary yogurty drink that Chinese and Korean people alike love to give to kids. As a teacher here, I've been given them before too. They are SO nasty. I'm not a fan of them. Raelynn likes them enough but never begs for them. If they're offered, she'll accept. Jeremy told this woman not to give it to Raelynn, but she insisted. Raelynn drank it and then ate a few dumplings. She picked at her food which is unlike her when dumplings are around.

I should have known something was wrong when the wife offered Raelynn a piece of cheesecake from a nearby bakery. Raelynn refused it. Raelynn loves cake, especially cheesecake. She went and sat on their floor to play and then she threw up all over the play mat and herself. The good news was she felt much better after vomiting. The bad news was that it was everywhere. I began cleaning it up and the wife helped me, which was really nice of her. I hoped she didn't hear Raelynn tell me that she threw up because she didn't like the food.

If I didn't have much of an appetite before the barfing, I surely had none after. I just drank my beer politely and prayed we would go home soon before I was made to eat more of this truly vile food. I noticed Jeremy wasn't eating very much either. I would later learn that he too felt the food was gross. So at least MIL doesn't cook as badly as this woman does. Though their house was cleaner. The mom of this woman lives there with them and the baby. You know I would have run away and never come back if I had to live under the same roof as MIL, right?

Honestly, their house was nicer than ours. From the stairwell to the flooring to the layout and decor. We did the best we could with what we were given though and if you have seen my earlier posts, you know what we had to deal with. What I don't understand is how their house is cleaner but as Jeremy pointed out, they knew we were coming. He said the wife probably made sure everything was cleaned up first and that the mom probably makes as much a mess as his own mother does. 

By the way, let me tell you about their giant baby. Jeremy and I were stunned that this baby is as fat as he is. And she's breastfeeding him! But apparently, not exclusively. That sugary yogurty drink? She gives that to her son. And she feeds him food too. Not in a beginning solids kind of way either. She asked me a ton of questions about breastfeeding and foods and such and I told her everything I know. How did I learn all of this? By researching it. But people here don't do stuff like that. This girl, and the hoards of others like her, just do what they are told. Don't question anything. I'm seriously amazed this culture has endured for over 5,000 years. How is that even possible? She seemed to be very interested in the process of properly introducing solids, yet a short while later, she brought out watermelon slices and tried to feed that to the mammoth baby. Then her mother was giving him apple which she was scraping off onto a spoon. Oy.

In any event, fat babies and terrible food aside, it wasn't a completely awful experience. But the next time we meet up, I pray we will be at our house or a good restaurant instead.

S.M.M.E.T.: The Royal Flush

FYI: S.M.M.E.T. = Someone Made Me Eat This. Now you know.

I should have given MIL more credit. But for one thing, I'm not much of a betting gal and for another, MIL's past track record has proven over and over again that she's not exactly the best chef (except, surprisingly, during Chinese New Year). I thought for sure that last night, after 2 nights of her doing well in the kitchen, she would totally bomb. But she didn't.

When I saw the table, I immediately knew FIL was coming for a change. How, you ask? Well, there's 4 giant bowls of rice, that's how. Why she ever serves me so much rice, I'll never know. She does it every time even though I always dump out more than half into another rice bowl. Anyway, FIL never comes over anymore. He once told Jeremy that our house is boring. Yes. OUR house is boring. Not their smelly house (see the end of this post for photos). OUR HOUSE. Which pisses me off on many levels because we have all kinds of toys and things for Raelynn to play with here. You'd think he'd be happy playing and learning with her. You'd think he'd come over more to play with her period but he apparently has better things to do. You know, somewhere that isn't BORING. Smeesh.

Anyway, MIL encouraged me to dig in before Seoul woke up so that's what I began to do. Let's take a look at everything, shall we?

This is some rib dish cooked with a potato-like vegetable. I always forget what the name of the potato-like vegetable is. It's good but I call it "Ajumma Face." An "ajumma" in Korean is an old lady. So it basically looks like an old lady face before you peel it. She's topped it with cilantro. I guess she's trying out for a spot on Masterchef now. Is there a Masterchef China? There should be. That shit would be hilarious.

This dish isn't too awful. Not my favorite but definitely edible. I ate more of the "Ajumma Face" than the ribs though.

 Overcooked zucchini. In lots of oil. Oh MIL. *facepalm*

This potatoes and onions dish (sprinkled with cilantro to be artsy of course!) was great. Better than the potato dish she made earlier this week. No complaints here.

 Celery topped with 1,000 cloves of garlic in soy sauce. Not bad. Just too garlicky and salty. I tried going for the pieces that weren't completely covered in garlic.

So this meal isn't too awful and normally I wouldn't even really care to rank it. Until she busted out with this:

Oh hells yes! Fresh steamed crab! You win, MIL. You win this whole week. Nothing beats fresh steamed crab, except maybe steamed lobster. Hot damn!

So what was with the whole big dinner? Why the crabs? Why did FIL bother to show up? And then I realized why...MIL was making a big dinner to celebrate Seoul being a month old. Awwww. That is certainly sweet of her. And a big reason to have a crab dinner and take shots of baijiu (a very strong Chinese liquor, in case you were wondering).

How could we not celebrate this little face?

She's even vogueing for the photo!

And of course our original party girl was all on board. She wanted some baijiu. We told her no. She still wanted it so we let her smell it. Just as I suspected, she's not interested anymore. I'm sure that will change by the time she's a teenager though. Eek.

Someone Made Me Eat This: 3 In A Row!

Well, I'll be damned. I was wrong. I had predicted that last night's dinner would be a fail. There would be no way that MIL could serve 3 decent meals in a row, I'd thought. MIL, are you reading my blogs? Ha! That's a funny thought...my in-laws have an ancient laptop that I think FIL just uses to play mahjong on. They used to bring it here before we got the iPad so that on rainy days when the satellite wouldn't come in, we could just put in a DVD of Max & Ruby and Raelynn would mellow out. But they do not have internet at their home so there's no way MIL could be doing this just to throw off my predictions. No, she's actually doing this. She's doing a better job of cooking and hence, helping our family out. Thank you, MIL. Yes, a non-sarcastic thank you for a change.

Look what's back...it's the xifan! Haha! I guess that slop is here to stay. I just think it's funny that she didn't serve it the other night. So let's look at the other stuff...

We've got cauliflower which would have been better if she'd served it hot. She cooked this first and let it sit out while she cooked the other stuff. Next to the cauliflower, she's made some saucy Chinese ribs. I love love LOVE how she's sprinkled them with chopped cilantro to try to be fancy! Oh MIL! You're such a card! So how did they taste? Well, when I saw them, I immediately thought of those sweet and sticky BBQ ribs you can get at any Chinese joint in the US. But they weren't sweet. They were salty. I would have been so happy if they'd been sweet, and had more meat on the bones, but this is a good job for MIL. Like when Raelynn behaves herself, we have to make a big stink when MIL does a good job. We want to encourage her to cook good food, don't we?

Next up, you'll see more tudou bien, potato bread. It was in one of my other SMMET (Someone Made Me Eat This) posts. As I've been handling a baby who seems to want to be up at all hours partying, you'll have to go look for it yourself. And again, with this batch, she did a great job.

Finally, we have a shrimp dish. Take a closer look...

It's shrimp steamed with cucumbers and cilantro. I hate cooked cucumbers but I was able to successfully ignore them. The shrimp was great. Nicely done, MIL.

Today is Thursday, which means it's her last night this week cooking for us (I get to cook on Fridays). Will there be a royal flush - all 4 days filled with no (major) complaints from me? Or will she fuck it all up? I guess we'll find out soon enough!

Someone Made Me Eat This: No Way!

I must tell you that I am beyond stunned today. MIL did not serve us a table full of fried foods! But that's not even the most astonishing thing.

 Shocker #1: she MADE this chicken. It doesn't look all that delicious in the photo (her plating sucks, plus my flash photography never does these things any favors) but let me tell you...it is. So as I'm eating it, enjoying that it's juicy and flavorful and not greasy and fried, she tells me she made it. "Ni?!?" I sputter, with a mouth full of chicken. She caught me so off-guard that I actually talked with my mouth full. I couldn't help it. "Ni?!? Ni zoufan le ta???" I ask again, incredulous. You?!? You?!? You cooked this??? And she seems pretty pleased with herself as she tells me that she did. I have to give her credit: great job, MIL. Make this again. And again. But not every fucking day, ok? You did good here.

Of course, she's served it with a giant bowl of rice. My husband will eat that, easy. I actually ignored her rice tonight because earlier, when my husband ran us to the supermarket, he bought me a little tray of salmon sushi rolls. They were so good too. So good that I gobbled them up before I even thought to take photos. But I still had to take bites of the dishes she prepared. Her chicken gets an A+ tonight though I wonder if she really truly made it herself or bought it from someone who knows how to cook.

Now let's talk about the red and yellow bowl of mess that looks like someone ripped Ronald McDonald's scalp clean. It looks menacing and gross but it's actually tomatoes cooked with eggs and garlic. It's not an awful dish, but I don't love it. I don't hate it either. I'm just kind of meh about it. Basically, I'd rather eat other things but this is far better than many things she makes.

Here's some potatoes with onions. Not bad either but still fried. Not deep fried, mind you, but the amount of oil at the bottom of this bowl is a bit unsettling. She just can't not fry anything, can she? At least she didn't fry everything this time though.

And here's Shocker #2: She didn't serve xifan! I know. How weird is that?!? I couldn't believe she actually let us go one night without trying to force that shit down our throats.

So will we get a big steaming bowl of xifan with dinner tomorrow? Will MIL go for 3 days in a row of winning with decent food? I think she'll break her good streak, but who knows...she could very well surprise me. After all, she surprised me with that chicken tonight. Check out other Someone Made Me Eat This posts right here until then.

Someone Made Me Eat This: The Good, The Bad And The Ugly

In addition to being utterly hysterically funny today, MIL did a fairly decent job with dinner. It was good, bad and ugly, all at once.

First, the good:
I actually have to say I like everything pictured here. We've got cucumbers with that garlic soy sauce (I could do without the sauce honestly), then that green thing is actually leeks and eggs and it's really tasty. There's chicken wings and fried shrimp. And that thing in the back is tuduo bien, or potato bread. Normally, I hate when she makes tudou bien because she sucks at it. She always adds too much flour and it tastes like a glutenousy mess with hints of potato flavor. I like tuduo bien when it's made right. Tonight, MIL surprised me by making it right. I'm shocked.

The bad:
Out of 5 offerings, 3 of them are fried. So this meal, while tasty, is not very healthy. Jeremy kindly explained this to his mother. Not just for my benefit but also his. He doesn't want to eat so many fried things either. Of course, this just means she'll make different gross things. But hey, I've lost 20 pounds since having the baby just from breastfeeding, and presumably starving because I hate most of the shit she cooks, so this could be a good thing as I work on losing the rest of the baby weight.

And finally, the ugly:

A Broad Abroad file photo of xifan.

And yes, of course she served us xifan again. Because she thinks this is healthy. Well, at least it's healthier than 3 plates of fried food, I'll give her that.

Will our non-fried future meals be edible? Stay tuned. Check out previous Someone Made Me Eat This posts here.  

Someone Made Me Eat This: Bizarro Edition

Something VERY strange is going on, you guys. MIL is actually being useful AND helpful. AND! She's actually making different foods for us daily.

I know.

I'm as shocked as you are, perhaps even more so.

Yesterday, she surprised me by coming to take Raelynn out for a few hours in the morning so I could spend time with Seoul and rest. And then she brought Raelynn home and didn't come back until dinner! For that dinner, I regret that I didn't take photos (camera needed charging after taking so many photos of Seoul) because she made us these really meaty pork chops that fell off the bone. They were good. So good, I couldn't believe she made them. She also made a shrimp dish and some soup I didn't care for much but is traditional to eat after a baby. It wasn't horrible but I would have preferred not to eat it. I only ate it because I was "trying to show my nice" as my husband puts it. Seriously, he says that. But I was eating it as a way of having leverage if she does overstep her bounds..."Hey Honey, remember the time your mom made that weird soup and I ate it even though I didn't want to and I didn't complain? Yeah, so here's the favor I'm calling in..."

Today, she tried to take Raelynn out in the morning but Miss Lazy apparently refused to get up! She slept the whole night in her room like a good girl and at around 6am, got up and came to our room. She snuggled up right next to me and after a long night of nursing a very hungry little piggy of a newborn, I zonked right out. MIL didn't stick around to annoy us either. When Raelynn couldn't be extracted from sleep, she left.

And she didn't come back until dinner time. I have to give her a huge chunk of respect for this evening's dinner because we had a huge torrential downpour. I figured she wouldn't show up until later because of the rain but she walked through that storm to our house just to make us dinner. How could I possibly be rude to her in any way after that? The storm didn't last very long - maybe 30 or 40 minutes. She could have waited but she walked in that mess. I salute you for that MIL, and for tonight's dinner.

No longer is she trying to force me to eat the kinds of foods she thinks are delicious all the time. Sure, I get food like that from her (like the strange traditional soup), but she's now finally realizing that I need foods that I find delicious. I'm beginning to really suspect my husband of having interceded on my behalf because this is what she made us for dinner...

What do we have here? We have a spinach and garlic noodle dish which tasted way better than this photo lets on. Behind that, she made some sort of mashed potato wannabe thing which was a solid effort for her. Mine, of course, are way better, but I really appreciate her making this and that it actually tasted good enough that I didn't have to fake that I enjoyed it. Same with those chicken wings. The xifan - this kind is a soup of watery rice - was blah though. I took a few bites to be polite. Not pictured: the special soup from yesterday that she made just for me. Just as I was enjoying what I thought was a normal meal, here comes that damn traditional shit again. Urgh.

Maybe I'm just overtired from having another baby and am hallucinating normal-ish food. Is that possible?

Then again, my kitchen looked like this after so I think everything is back to normal...

No worries. Jeremy cleaned it up. Maybe I am dreaming after all...

The Story Of Seoul

They say every birth is different. Just like every person is different. Man, they sure weren't kidding! If you need a refresher on how Raelynn came into the world, click here. You may also want to read about how MIL made me nuts right after coming home from the hospital so click here too.

This is how our sweet little Seoul came into the world...

On Monday, July 14th, you'll no doubt recall my last meal of grossness served up by MIL. On that day, I'd been having false labor signs. Braxton Hicks contractions. I knew it wasn't baby time because they kept disappearing when I'd get up and move around. They also came with no regularity or increase in frequency. The only thing that ever remained the same was the duration of each contraction: just one minute. It was unpleasant and uncomfortable but before I could really complain, it would vanish and I'd be fine for hours before another one would come up.

That night, I took a nice, hot shower and tried to relax. I figured my body was gearing up for the big moment and I should take it easy. I went to bed early but around 1am, I woke up to a contraction. And this one was VERY different. It was more painful than the others had been. Plus, it began in the lower back and shot through my abdomen. But again, it only lasted one minute. I fell back asleep and 30 or so minutes later, I felt the same thing. I thought about waking Jeremy but I wanted to be sure before I set us into pre-baby-panic-mode. So I watched the clock. And the next hour? 2 contractions again. Maybe I'm crazy. I watched another hour go by with the same results. I knew then that this kid was getting ready to come out.

It was 3am. The other thing I knew was that if we did go to the hospital right then, they'd only tell me to try to get some sleep first. So I tried to get some sleep in the comfort of our home. It was a futile attempt. But my contractions only became 25 minutes apart and didn't increase in length or pain so I knew we had time.

Early in the morning, about 6:30am, Jeremy woke up to use the bathroom. That's when I told him. He called the hospital to let Dr. Wang know but she was already in surgery delivering another baby. They told us we should start getting over to the hospital as soon as we could. Jeremy then called his parents. I hugged and kissed Raelynn, still a bit terrified of delivering the baby inside me and hoping that I would make it out alive to see her again.

We rounded up our bags and spent time with Raelynn before MIL arrived. After a tearful goodbye with Raelynn, we were off. The hospital isn't that far away but since it was now rush hour on Tuesday, July 15th, we were stuck in traffic for an hour. I had 3 contractions in the car during that time, much more painful than before.

When we finally arrived at the hospital, we hurried into Dr. Wang's office. She had changed from her surgery garb and looked as though she was expecting us. She wanted to run a few tests first so we had them done. She was trying to check the scar tissue from my first c-section to see if there would be any problems. When we'd seen her during our last check-up over the previous weekend, she'd told me not to eat or drink anything at least 4 hours before my c-section. I hadn't even had a drop of water since bedtime and now the ultrasound tech was being a bitch because she said I didn't have enough in my bladder for her to see well enough. She was urging me to go drink more water even though the doctor told me not to. Moron. On top of that, I had to pee so badly I seriously thought I was going to lose control of my bladder during that scan.

We went back to Dr. Wang and as we spoke to her, I had a horrible contraction. I gripped the back of one of the chairs in her office and she then ordered her assistant to send us up to check into our room and prep for surgery. Off we went. Jeremy was excited because our room was a lucky number in Chinese: 618. He said this was a very good sign. I just cried and cried because I was scared and excited all at once. Plus, I was finally allowed to pee and the bathrooms in the hospital rooms are soooooooooooooooo much nicer than the bathroom you can use on the first floor.

No sooner than I get in there, my husband runs back to the car to get our bags and nurses begin to file in to prep me for surgery. Even though I'm scared, I know this is best for me now because I'd been in labor since the wee hours of the morning and wasn't even dilated yet. Another long labor would await me if I didn't go through with my planned c-section.

A gurney comes in. Some hospital clothes. I smell rubbing alcohol and I begin to panic. The nurses are all very nice despite the language barrier. They speak limited English but they try to comfort me. Another woman comes in with forms she wants me to sign. I can't read them because they're in Chinese and Jeremy snaps at her about that. He handles the forms while I'm prepped and moved onto the gurney.

They take my blood and I cry at the sting of pain. I'm so scared now. I'm dreading this. This sucks. Why does giving birth have to suck so fucking much, I wonder. Then, they start wheeling me down the hall. I scream for Jeremy who runs alongside, trying to comfort me. We ride the elevator to where the operating rooms are. It's very sterile, which is reassuring, but also terrifying at the same time. I don't want my husband to leave me. They tell him he has to dress in scrubs if he's going to come into the OR and they assure me not to worry. Into the OR I go. It's much more freaky than I remember from Raelynn's birth. There are about 5 people in there prepping everything, speaking to me in halting English and all I can do is cry. The anesthesiologist is very nice, and desperate to calm me down so she can issue the epidural. She pats my head and tells me not to cry and to please lay on my side. Please don't move, she tells me as she rubs something cold along my spine. Suddenly, the OR doors open and I hope it's my husband. It's not but the person who I see makes me sigh with great relief. It's Dr. Wang. I feel so much better seeing her there. Her English is much better than her team's. I ask for my husband and she tells me she's worried he will become sick if he sees the surgery. She says it will be okay because she can talk to me in English which was really the only valid reason for my husband coming in.

Dr. Wang sees the panic in my eyes and she tells me quite kindly not to worry about anything. She does this every day, many times a day. I'm in good hands. I know this. It's exactly why I wanted her to deliver this baby just like she did with Raelynn.

The epidural takes effect and I cannot feel my legs. At all. It's so weird. They have a mask ready in case I need to be knocked out completely but I don't want it. There's a large canvas draped over the rest of my body. I can't see anything that is happening to me which is a huge relief. I can only feel a slight little tugging. It doesn't hurt. It just feels very strange. The anesthesiologist stays by my head. She tells me if I feel anything and want to sleep to tell her. I look about the room wildly. I hate this. I want it to end.

And suddenly, WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! There's my baby! I remember hearing Raelynn when she was born but I was so foggy from the anesthesia it was part of my drugged out trip. As this baby cries, I say, "My baby! It's my baby!" "Yes," I hear Dr. Wang say. "Everything is very good." "It's a girl, right?" I ask her, hoping and praying that what they'd told me months ago hadn't been to just make me happy. "Yes, it's a girl," Dr. Wang tells me. THANK GOD.

I begin to relax now. My baby is alive and well. It is not a boy, no offense to the moms I know with boys. I'm just so relieved to have another girl. I can see her being carted off into the corner to my left as 3 people from Dr. Wang's team clean her up. I just want to look at her but I know I have to be stitched back up. This part took a while but I remember reading that about c-sections. It seemed like seconds when I had Raelynn only because of the drugs. Now I wondered how long it was taking as Dr. Wang closed me up. I also felt warm. It felt like forever, and again, the anesthesiologist told me that she could put me to sleep if I wanted to be out. I just told her I felt warm and wished they could take the canvas off of me so I'd feel cooler.

And then it was over. They counted: yi, er, san! And lifted me off the operating table and back onto my gurney and out I went. There was my husband, overjoyed and crying with relief. We all went back into the room. I was moved into my bed and had my vitals checked out yet again. I was so much more with it this time though it truly freaked me out that I seriously could not feel my legs. I tried to wiggle my toes and nothing. They told me it would be fine soon and that I had to lay flat for 6 hours. On this hard, awful hospital bed. But the good news was they were handing me my little baby. My sweet Seoul Susie Qu.

It's no wonder they use babies that are 3 to 6 months old in movies, TV shows and commercials. You know why, right? Because newborns are so tiny and scrawny. They're wrinkly and honestly, look like little old men. But we love them anyway, don't we? I loved Seoul when I saw her too. Later I would learn the downside to marrying a man that makes me laugh so much...it truly sucks to have a funny husband when you've had a c-section. Laughing hurts. He called Seoul "Grandpa Face" and I thought I was going to die from the pain the laughter caused.

 Grandpa Face! Hahahahaha!

I breastfed my little angel quite easily and breathed a sigh of relief. Now we were over the other side of the wall. Now the recovery begins.

I hate hospitals. I always have. I've never had to stay in a hospital in the US so I can only relate what it's like here in China. I'm sure it's very different than the states so for those of you that have gone through a c-section back home, I'd love to hear from you in the comments about what your experience was like in the hospital. It would be neat to compare.

In China, you must bring your own towels, toilet paper, soap, and all sorts of things you'd never think about bringing in the US. They did supply us with a gift bag that included my hospital pajamas, those shitty kind of diapers you know I hate from when Raelynn was a newborn, and some other stuff which impressively included soap, a plastic soap dish and even a roll of toilet paper. Wow, they're stepping up their game, I remember thinking.

My room had 2 hospital beds in it because it's typical your spouse or a family member will stay with you to assist you. Nurses are for changing IVs and administering shots. But NOT emptying your catheter bag! Jeremy had to empty it out. You know your husband loves you very much when he dumps out bags of your pee for you. He also helped me to the bathroom when the catheter was removed. They'd given me many IVs during my stay but one of the last ones I got was some sort of nutrient and I had to keep it elevated so Jeremy had to come with me to the bathroom.

We also had one nurse tell Jeremy that HE had to change the sheets on my bed for me. This was when I still had the catheter in and couldn't get up. I felt gross and needed my mattress guard and sheets changed. Fortunately, another nurse came in and took care of it, Jeremy only being asked to offer minimal assistance in helping me roll over.

The first 2 days in the hospital, it seemed like every 5 minutes, someone was knocking on our door to come in for this or that. Just as I'd start falling asleep, someone would knock. It was highly irritating. I would have been even more annoyed that first day when my in-laws showed up if not for the sight of my precious Raelynn. I was so happy to see her little face and so grateful to visit with her.

In addition to the constant interruptions by the staff, the air conditioning became an issue. They'd turned it off in our room. Jeremy flipped out on my behalf. I was in pain and sweating and I couldn't sleep. AT ALL. The night nurse was a huge pain in the ass about this, saying that 26 Celcius was a fine temperature. My husband yelled that we'd paid 10,000 rmb for our room and on top of that, I was a foreign person. I remember hearing him yell that I felt sick because of the heat. It was true. Finally in the morning, they sorted out the air conditioning issue and it stayed at a nice 22 Celcius the rest of our stay. I was also given an extra shot of pain medicine and I was finally able to fall asleep.

The bed was another horrible problem for me. Because I've never had to stay in a US hospital, I have nothing to compare it to. But I felt like my back was becoming worse because of this bed. The mattress was very thin and on top of a metal frame. I tried to roll on my sides but because of the surgery it was so painful to do so. After a few days, that pain got better but my hips now ached from the metal frame of the bed. As you can probably imagine, it was a very happy moment for me when I was told I could go home the next morning.

 You can see here what the hospital bed looks like. Jeremy's bed is identical to mine. Look at that thin mattress!

 So we went in on a Tuesday morning and we got to leave on a Saturday morning. MIL kept her promise to me about bringing Raelynn, which I'm very grateful for. She brought her every day. Even though she dressed her in the same clothes every day. Even underwear. She said she bathed her but Raelynn stunk (and of course, so did my in-laws - like they always do). I couldn't wait to wash her when we got home so she'd smell nice again.

Speaking of the in-laws, let's talk about them since I know you're dying to know about that, aren't you? Of course you are! That's why you read this blog, isn't it?

I was relieved that my in-laws didn't kill Raelynn while they watched her. They told me Raelynn cried all the time for me, which made me feel bad. She must have really hated having them watch her the whole time. Sorry, my sweet! They didn't touch the window in her room either, so I have to hand it to them for listening to my wishes in that regard. On Friday, my husband ran his parents and Raelynn home in the car so he could get my passport. We needed it to make Seoul's birth certificate. We have to present this at the US Embassy so we can get a report for a consular birth abroad. Jeremy was worried to ask his parents to bring my passport. He thought they might lose it or forget to lock up the drawer we keep it in and Raelynn would destroy it and the other important documents housed in there.

When he returned, I asked him how our house looked. He made a face and I knew. But before I could cry, he promised me he would clean it up. When we actually got home on Saturday morning, I thought I was going to see the aftermath of a tornado. But it wasn't as bad as I was expecting. The kitchen was a royal zoo but I chose not to get too angry because, for one, Jeremy promised to clean it all himself, and for another, MIL was in there actively cooking a big welcome home lunch. Never mind that it wasn't anything I wanted to eat but it was nice of her. The other mess was FIL's fault. Raelynn's toys were everywhere and he refused to act like a grown up and tell her to clean it. I pulled her aside and talked to her about the mess. Then I told her to have Grandpa help her. He was shocked that she would listen to me and clean up. I was shocked that he would let her tell him no when he asked her to do something. That's one of the things that bothers me so much about my in-laws. They don't realize how much more damaging it is to let her have her way like that.

 Those are just some of the hard boiled eggs she made for me. She also made me another big bowl of xifan. This kind of xifan looks a lot like baby poop. Especially how she made it. She should have used more water. The food was gross but it was nice to drink again.

 Raelynn is so happy to have us home. Look at that face! I love her! And look at that food - gross!

Soon, the floors were cleaned up, toys were in their right place and my husband had poured me a glass of wine. I was feeling better and enjoying being home, even if we had to have lunch with his parents. After eating, FIL went home and MIL and Jeremy cleaned up the kitchen. Then MIL spent some time holding the baby. After a while though. My husband hopped on his computer and just ignored that his mother was here in our living room, doing nothing but staring into space. I hate when she does that. There's no reason for you to be here now. Thank you for lunch. Thank you for taking care of Raelynn. It is 1:30pm. We aren't eating dinner until 6:30pm. PLEASE GO HOME. I calmly explained to Jeremy that THIS is something that gets on my nerves about his mother so he politely told her to leave and we'd see her later. That made me so happy. This house is just too small to have someone I don't need sitting around taking up space on the couch to be sitting around taking up space on the couch.

For dinner, she came back and made better food. WAY better food. She had these roasted chicken legs that were delicious. She must have bought them somewhere. There's no way she could make something that good. She also made steamed clams again. And the obligatory xifan. And she didn't overstay her welcome into the evening. She cooked. She cleaned. She held the baby. She kissed Raelynn goodnight before I read her stories. And then, she went home! Amazing!

Now I hate to look a gift horse in the mouth but here's the stuff my in-laws fucked up: the closet door in Raelynn's room. FIL busted it off the track. God only knows why he would do such a thing. Derp. The kitchen sink. It was leaking again! Lord knows we had enough problems with that sink. But, it turned out something got knocked loose with the faucet and Jeremy was able to tighten it himself. Still, I'm not surprised. We had so many sink problems because MIL just bangs the big pans and cutting boards into it without a care in the world.

Also, someone, I'm guessing MIL, stored a bag of eggplant in the kitchen cabinets. Instead of the refrigerator. I went into the cabinet today to get some flour and I smelled something foul. I nominated Jeremy to check it out and he made the grisly discovery. I'd also found a bag of eggplant and carrots on the side of the refrigerator today. Fortunately, those were not rotten and I put them in the fridge. Why she does this IN SUMMER when EVERYTHING you leave out rots is beyond me. Especially when there is so much room inside that fridge!

Ok...now something nice...something nice. FIL cleaned our fish tank and it looks great. He also deep-cleaned our air conditioner in our bedroom and now it's ice-cold in here. That was nice and helpful. We can run it on low and it cools our whole room, not to mention the living room when we have the sliding door open.

Yesterday was Sunday, our 2nd day at home. And my husband had told his parents not to come. Never on Sundays. But I was truly dreading today, Monday. I worried she'd come at the crack of dawn, making more hard boiled eggs than we could ever eat. Which is a Chinese tradition when you have a baby. Your family makes hard boiled eggs and gives them to everyfuckingone they see. But when your Chinese MIL gives you too many hard boiled eggs, you make deviled eggs, which is just what I did for dinner last night. Jeremy went nuts for them and scolded me for never before making them for him. Well, no worries honey...we still have about 20 more hard-boiled eggs in the fridge.

I heard our land line ring this morning and became tense with fear. Jeremy came back from answering it and told me his parents would come around 8am or 9am to take Raelynn out for a bit so I could rest. What? Really? Now wait...that's actually helpful. And they did. They took her out until about 11am. And then I thought MIL would bother me some more but nope! She just dropped off Raelynn and a package of Japanese diapers a friend of hers had sent for us. AND SHE LEFT!

She didn't come until 5pm and she's only here to make us dinner. I'm shocked. And delighted. But fearful. I seriously SERIOUSLY hope this is how she will be during this time - HELPFUL. I seriously SERIOUSLY hope she will come take Raelynn for walks on the 4 days she's supposed to come so the kid can get out into the world while I care for her little sister. And I seriously SERIOUSLY hope she'll respect our boundaries. If she can do this, then I don't mind her helping at all. We'll see. We know how she is though, don't we?

And then of course, there's the reason for this whole entire post: Seoul. You know why we named her that, don't you? Because Jeremy and I met and fell in love in Seoul. Susie, her middle name, is another tribute to my mom, whose middle name was Sue. We'd discussed that our 2nd child would always be named Seoul, regardless of gender. It was the middle name that would be different if it was a boy or girl. If we were having a boy, Seoul's middle name would have been Michael, just like my father.

You know, already, we're getting bugged by people to have a 3rd child. NO. No way. I am enjoying not being pregnant anymore, thankyouverymuch, though I will always be supremely grateful that I got to experience such a special thing twice in my life. When we were still in the hospital, MIL and Jeremy were talking and I could hear them talking about x and y chromosomes. I asked why and Jeremy said his mother said that the next one would be a boy. I said that he better tell her to find another family to annoy because 2 children is plenty for me. I'm 38 and have had 2 c-sections now. I'm not having a 3rd child as I go into my 40s. NO. When we left the hospital, one of the staff members there said we should try for a boy next. GOD! What IS it with Asians and boys?!? They are not everything! Urgh!

So how is Seoul? Well, she's, so far, a very sweet and relatively easy-going baby. Raelynn, as much as we love her, was a very difficult baby. She cried ALL the time. About EVERYTHING. She's a wonderful child but we were exhausted with her as a baby. Seoul seems to have a very different personality. But one thing's for sure...Raelynn loves her little sister. The first couple days have been rough but Raelynn is learning to be helpful and not to make too much noise when her sister sleeps. I hope these 2 will be the best of friends as they grow up. Nothing makes me happier than to give these girls that amazing sibling experience I had growing up with my brother, Phillip.

Raelynn loves Seoul, and no, she's not the reason Seoul's crying here. When Seoul started crying, Raelynn climbed up next to her to comfort her. Awwww!

I still can't believe I have a family of 4 now. I still can't believe this little person came out of me. And I still can't believe Raelynn was ever this small. She seems so gigantic and grown up now. It's trippy. What's craziest of all is that during my pregnancy, I remember asking my dad if I would love both of my children. How will I love them both? He assured me I would absolutely love them both. I never could have imagined loving someone as much as I love Raelynn, and that's no dis on my husband. He knows just what I mean by that. But as I held Seoul one night in our hospital room, I was talking to her and she just looked up at me and I cried. And I realized I just love her so much. I love her with every bit of my heart. And with my whole soul (or should I say Seoul), just the way I love Raelynn.

You were right, Daddy. Just like always.

And I'm quite certain Jeremy feels exactly the same way.

Someone Made Me Eat This: MIL Steps Up Her Game

Yesterday, I was spared a visit from MIL who went out to her country house to spend time with her sister. But today, I wasn't so lucky. Jeremy informed me that since MIL didn't come on Thursday, she'd come today. And because I agreed to 4 days a week, I had to smile and be ok with it.

I have to say the old gal's really taken to heart that lecture my husband gave her about not serving the same shit every day because she really pulled out all the stops. Not that this is her best effort ever, but she put in so much more effort than she has been that I had to ask Jeremy if it was a Chinese holiday I wasn't aware of. No, no holiday today. Just MIL taking us very seriously. Thank you, MIL.

So, I know you want to see what she made us, right? Of course you do! Why else do you read my blog, right?

 I'll be honest...when I saw this, I did not have high hopes at all for this meal. I thought I'd be sneaking off to the kitchen to snarf down bags of mini donuts that my parents sent in that package. I hate this dish. Potatoes, scary meat bits and some overcooked green beans. I love how she tries to plate it with the 6 large shrimp on top, like she's Emeril now. This dish is always horrible. I hate it. The shrimp, however, were actually very good. I'll give her that.

 Spinach? No. I'm actually not sure but if I had to guess, I'd say it tasted a lot like celery so I think it was the leafy part of the celery. You'll see why I suspect this in a moment. How'd it taste? Not bad but she over-garlicked it for my tastes so it was a bit overwhelming. Not awful though.

 And here's why I suspected celery leaves in the last dish. This is a very common side dish in China. Boiled peanuts with carrots and celery. It's pretty tasty though I am so much happier eating this when I can drink beer alongside it.

 This sloppy mess of zucchini was actually much better tasting than it looked. MIL grows vegetables out at this country house of hers so she was showcasing her fresh produce. My only problem with this is all the oil that poor zucchini is swimming in. Gak!

 Fresh steamed clams! These were really nice and fresh today too. Nice job, MIL!

 Burnt farts? What IS this hot mess? MIL told my husband to tell me it was a Chinese sandwich. Nice try, lady. It's a floury Chinese flatbread stuffed with a pork and vegetable mixture, similar to what she'd put inside her wontons and all her other stuffed things (dumplings, stuffed buns...you name it). It wasn't terrible but it was very greasy and a little burnt-ish. Big on salty too. I ate one small piece and she kept trying to give me more. Nooooooooo! Stay away!

Not pictured, we were also served that damn xifan soup crap. My husband insisted I eat it. "It's healthy! It's good for you!" Tomorrow, we must go for our 38th week check-up for the baby so I told him if Dr. Wang says that this xifan shit has any real special healing powers or whatever the fuck Jeremy and his batty family think, then I will shut up and drink it without complaining. Dr. Wang is pretty on-point. When I had Raelynn, MIL insisted that I couldn't eat cold foods because that was bad for me and my breast milk. Jeremy called Dr. Wang and asked her about that and that's why she's my hero - she said that was ridiculous and that I could eat whatever I wanted. Hopefully she'll have my back on this xifan shit or else I'm stuck eating it with a big spoon and a big smile from now on.

MIL Gets A Gold Star!

I hope you are sitting as you read this. If not, find a chair because you will totally fall on your ass when you see this. Look what MIL bought for Raelynn:

 She bought these 3 tank tops. In the right size. Without any stupid crap on them. Just 3 tank tops, in 3 attractive colors. I KNOW. How did this happen? Was it a fluke? Did someone help her? Did she FINALLY listen to what I've been telling her about matching things and not buying clothes with ugly pictures on them and/or nonsensical English?

She also bought this pink-striped racer-back. I'm amazed. I was so proud of her, I clapped. I CLAPPED. Hey, I want to reinforce this good shopping behavior, lest she revert to her old ways...like this, for example.

So what do you think...is MIL turning over a new fashion leaf? Or is this just a stroke of dumb luck on her part? The suspense is killing me!