Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Diaper Fail

Yesterday, we spent the day at the hospital for Raelynn's first checkup. Despite numerous fuckheads trying to touch Raelynn and consequently getting hit (quite hard, actually) by my hand, her checkup went very well. We had left the house with the intention we'd get more diapers while we were out but alas, we forgot. We weren't completely out but we figured we should get more before it's too late. My husband had to run some errands so he decided to pick up the diapers himself. I love him so very much but on this mission, my dear husband FAILED.

By now, I should not at all be surprised about the half-assed nature of people here. Many baby clothes come open at the crotch so the diaper sticks out. The lazy parents here just pull the diaper through the hole while they are out in the street with their child and let the poop and pee fall where it may. These type of diapers LOOK like the ones we know from the states but have NO tabs on them to secure the diaper in place. So you just stick it up against your child's crotch and put the clothes on and hope that it stays put. It doesn't. I know this because MIL bought a pack of these silly things while we were in the hospital (here, you must bring your own diapers to the hospital, believe it or not) and we were quite aggravated with having to change Raelynn's clothes every time she pooped or peed in these diapers. I should mention they DO have the kind of diapers like the US has. These are a little more expensive (about 80 yuan a package, which, depending on the current conversion rate is about $13) but indulge me a moment on my living word problem.

First, a photo:
This Chinese diaper, pictured above, is even worse than the ones with no securing tabs. It has 2 flimsy strings on the left and right which you are to wrap around a screaming, wriggling infant. My husband wanted to try to save some money so he picked up 2 packages of these Godawful things at 22 yuan a piece (that's about $3-$4 each). Xiaolong said that at the store, some woman (apparently a totally stupid one too) told him that these kind of diapers let more air into the area which is better. Is it? Let's see...

Oh thanks, Stupid-Fucking-Nosy-Lady-At-The-Store! Yeah, I see how the air flows through this fucking thing. Air and EVERYTHING ELSE flows through the leg holes, you dolt! There is nothing to help keep the diaper against my daughter's body except that flimsy string which means EVERYTHING leaks out. It also means that since there is no absorbing power, Raelynn now screams EVERY time she wets herself. I do too, because all her clothes and blankets have gotten wet in the last 18 hours. EVERY outfit that fits her and EVERY blanket of hers is now hanging to dry from being washed (and in grand Asian tradition, we have no dryer either). I have her now in a t-shirt and one of the remaining good diapers, incidentally, because I can no longer take washing everyfuckingthing she owns.

I even tried to creatively solve the problem...
I wrapped a second diaper around her. It caught more spills but did not completely stop things from leaking out. And now, my side of the bed has pee on it. Thanks, Honey. I will breastfeed her on your side of the bed from now on so when she pees there, you can understand how much fun it is to sit/sleep in urine. Hooray!

And here, you can see how, even with another diaper tied around her, there is a gaping leg hole, just waiting to leak out poopie and pee pee goodness all over our home.
So to conclude my word problem...we have 2 cheap packages of the crappiest diapers I have ever seen in my life at 22 yuan each, so 44 yuan total. The good kind we had before, Pampers, was 80 yuan. The Pampers had 78 diapers in the package. We opened it on Thursday of last week, so that is almost a week ago. We still have diapers in it. As for these fucked up, moronically designed diapers, the package neglects to state how many diapers are in there. But even if 100 came in each package, we are almost completely finished with the first package AFTER ONE NIGHT. Yes. So how in the fuck is this saving us money??? I'm no mathematician (my friend Romann is so perhaps he can lend his expertise) but I can clearly tell you this is not at all sensible. We'll wind up spending more if we keep buying these shiteous excuses for diapers. Not to mention spend more time doing laundry and more on laundry detergent.

What kind of idiot would make diapers like this? And why oh why would my husband listen to some dumbass lady at the store? He should have invited her mangy ass to come do all the extra resulting laundry I've been enslaved with since he brought these cursed things home yesterday. Bah!

1 comment:

  1. You are too funny, but I'm not laughing because it's a problem for both mother and daughter.
    In my trips around China I saw many toddlers with no diapers at all. They just do their business in the street and keep going – doody calls!
    Good luck with plugging the leak.
    With love and sympathy,