Tuesday, July 1, 2014

The Jig Is Up!

Ok, MIL. You're a pushy old cow who loves to ruin my dinner time but I've got you now. Today, I discovered your secret stash. Nice fucking try, by the way. I would tell my husband what you've done but he'll just make me put your little homely couture back where I found it. Not a fucking chance now. I'm shoving these into the vortex with the rest of your unwanted crap. Like this shit, for example.

I remember this stupid vest jacket. You know why? That's because 1) it is several sizes too large. In fact it is for a child of 5 or 6, according to the English on the tag inside and 2) it's for a boy. It is a boy's vest jacket. Raelynn has plenty of jackets for colder the colder months. She does not need to be walking around looking like a red Stay Puft marshmallow child, thank you. I told this to MIL a while back and she snuck it back in here. More reasons to hate this woman.

 Oh, look! ANOTHER jacket! This one is a girl's jacket, thankfully, but WE HAVE JACKETS FOR OUR CHILD! She has lots of jackets and lots of warm clothes for when the weather is cold. Why you feel the need to keep buying her stupid things is beyond me. The thing about this jacket is that it's not too horrible in style, except for the ugly little faces on it. Take a closer look...

 Is it a monkey grandma with a hat? What the fuck is it supposed to be anyway? I hate you, MIL.

 How about faux Paul Frink pants? Boy style at that. Oh yes, please.

 It says "Pant Sfine" on the back. Do they mean "Pants Fine?" Because if they do, I've got news for them: these pants are so not fine. MIL, please go give these kinds of things to the idiot people in our neighborhood with fat ugly boys. Please.

 Now this would have been fine if not for my nemesis, this stupid fucking cutesy-wutesy asshole bear. FUCK YOU BEAR! And you too, MIL!

 Stop looking at me, Bear.

And guess who else I found bundled into this hidden medley of vomitous clothing? Yes, that's right! These disgusting pants that I told her I wanted removed immediately from my sight. That bitch hid all these things in a blocked off cabinet in Raelynn's room. I found it when I was cleaning and organizing, trying to make room for places to put stuff for the baby. I can't wait until this stupid old goat goes in there this winter and finds her crap has been removed. And I'll play dumb of course because that is the only way to play with stupid people like her.

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