Monday, July 14, 2014

Someone Made Me Eat This: Same Ol' Shit, Different Day

10 days to go until the baby is supposed to come out via c-section. Baby didn't get the memo. I've been having Braxton Hicks contractions randomly throughout the day. It's a little unsettling, wondering if it will turn into the full-blown thing and we'll have to dash out the door with our bags while I pray to God that all turns out well and that I've remembered to throw in a novel for reading material as well as a handful of earplugs (so I don't page the nurse to kill my husband for his snoring) and my prized make-up collection so I don't look like a hideous sea beast when I do leave the hospital.

So having MIL come to cook dinner on this Monday evening was fine by me. Because I'm tired and I feel like the bottom of my baby bump is going to crash out onto the floor. Not to mention the kitchen is hot as hell and I seriously cannot take feeling any sweatier than I already do.

But of course, with MIL coming to relieve me of this chore, I'm stuck eating her vile creations and enduring her and her husband. Jeremy promised me that we'd get something delicious the night before we have the c-section and now I fear this baby is going to just split me in two first, leaving me to dream about pizzas while I'm chained to the catheter in the hospital. Please stay in there, kid. Come on! You owe Mommy! Plus, pizza! You like that stuff! Stay. In. There. PLEASE.

 Celery and randomly shredded bits of chicken. WHY?!? Why can't my husband's mother be a good cook? Why can't they be Italian dammit? Oh of course I just HAD TO fall in love with the handsome Chinese guy I saw while crossing the street. Way to go, Jennifer. I don't regret that though and I never will but I do regret having to eat his mom's cooking. Blah!

Steamed eggplant. I love eggplant. Very, very much. I even enjoy it steamed, from time to time. MIL couldn't possibly have known that my husband, who kindly cooked for me last night when I was too tired to do so, made exactly this, with a garlic soy dipping sauce, which she also made (not pictured). I don't blame her for that. What I do blame her for is OVER-steaming them so the color is all sad and washed out. I would have done great things with that eggplant, involving tomatoes and cheese. Sigh.

 Two kinds of fried Chinese flatbreads. On the left, it's quite greasy and I'll admit, a bit tasty, though thanks to the glutenousy flour she always uses, it had that chewy quality like a dumpling would have. The stuff on the right she blasphemously calls "pizza." She made this the last time too but she burnt it.
From her scary kitchen to ours, she brought this dish of overcooked green beans topped with steamed shrimp. Yes, this is my life.

More fresh steamed clams. Thank goodness these were there.

And yes, you should know by now that there was xifan. There is ALWAYS xifan. She'll be bringing a jug of xifan to the fucking hospital when she brings Raelynn to see know she will! Even though the hospital will have xifan it will serve me. Help!

No comments:

Post a Comment