Oh Help

Someone please, please, please, PLEASE help me.

Today, when I came home from work, my in-laws were here. Raelynn's been sick the last 2 days so they've stayed here to care for her while we've been at work. Which I do appreciate. Really.

But how do I appreciate this random gift from MIL? SAVE ME.

What you are looking at is, quite possibly, THE ugliest maternity shirt ever created in the history of the universe. She thinks I'm a pregnant little old lady, apparently. I would not ever wear this garment, even in the privacy of my home. She whipped it out of a bag and handed it to me. And that's when I quickly realized this wasn't for Raelynn. My God, that would be even worse than it being for me, wouldn't it?

 Let's forget for the moment that I have the biggest brown thumb of all and plants kill themselves when I'm left in charge of them and let's focus on this stupid gardening theme, shall we? I love the declaration of "PRETTY" and right across where my baby bump would be. As she explained to me, she thought my shirts were too tight or too short so she wanted to get me something that fits. Never mind that it is completely hideous. It's just her style though, isn't it?

Here is a glimpse of the Engrish on here. It could be worse indeed. Perhaps it's trying to make a pun about fertilized seeds and MY fertilized seed? Lord knows. In any event, once my husband gets home and laughs until he pees over this, this rag will be sent into the vortex of ugly things MIL has bought for us, like so many items before it.