Moisturizing Engrish

I just LOVE when I find awesome Engrish randomly during my days here. It was my turn for class so I headed back to my classroom only to discover my Korean teacher, Christina, was still singing with the children. I sat at the desk to wait and noticed she'd put a bottle of lotion on there. I pumped some out into my hand as I read the bottle. And then, I had to keep from bursting into hysterics. Here's why:

It's a little blurry, but it says:
Protect Moisten Delicate Hand To
Learn The Occult Feeling

If you don't understand why this is hilarious, perhaps you need to visit the definition of occult for yourself. Of course, if you don't understand, you're probably lazy...far too lazy to click a link. And in that case, it basically means, as an adjective, that it has to do with magic or astrology.

Now, I'm sure what they MEANT to say would have been "Enjoy a Magical Feeling" but of course they had some idiot use a computerized translator and then that same idiot likely decided to play around with the thesaurus.

Just for shits and giggles, I DID try to summon up a 5-headed mythical creature to devour my noisiest students, but this cream totally did not deliver the goods. False advertising! Boo!