Friday, March 7, 2014

The Arrangement

If you've been reading my blog for a while, you know that I like to spend as little time as possible with my in-laws. And if you're new, now you know and you can go browsing though my archives to see 1,000,000 examples of WHY. It's not that I hate them. It's just that the less time I spend with them, the easier it is for me to find something I like about them and the more likely it is that they won't wind up doing something to annoy me.

But now, we've come to an agreement and an arrangement as been made.

The other day, I told you about Surly the Bus Driver. Who has incidentally changed his tune. Now he no longer complains because he discovered my husband is Chinese. That's because one of my in-laws has been waiting by the bus drop-off for Raelynn and me every day this week. On Monday, it was MIL. And it was the first time EVER that I was happy to see that woman. I am now officially hitting the 5-month mark on this pregnancy and as I started down the steep bus stairs with my bag, Raelynn's bag and Raelynn, I realized it was much more difficult than I thought it would be. I also realized, as we walked along, that to carry her up the small hill that leads up to our street, then down our street to our building and finally, up 6 flights of stairs, was now impossible for me. I needed help.

On Tuesday, FIL was there. He helped me get Raelynn upstairs and played with her for a short while, then he was on his way. On Wednesday, we had to have dinner with them, but they came and helped me get off the bus with Raelynn. She somehow stayed asleep as we carried her off the bus, down the street and up the stairs. She desperately needed that nap and she would have totally woken up had my pregnant-ass been stuck struggling down the street with her.

At dinner last night, we made a deal. The arrangement. They would come help me at the bus stop and carry Raelynn home for me. But only on some afternoons would they stick around to spend time with her. And now, all of us are happy. I won't injure myself, Raelynn or the new baby, and they get to see her 5 days a week, even if just for a couple minutes on some of those days. It makes me, dare I say it, like them just a bit more.

Oh now don't worry. There will still be many more crazy in-law stories to come. There are too many differences between us for there NOT to be some wacky-ass crap happening around here. Like on Wednesday when FIL started to panic because I gave Raelynn a glass of cold orange juice. Because Chinese people think you should drink only hot things. I pointed out to him that milk is refrigerated and everyone drinks that cold or else they'll become ill from drinking spoiled milk. He had no rebuttal there. I also reminded him that in my country, we drink both hot and cold beverages and my people are just fine. I hate hate HATE drinking hot water here. I love hot tea and hot coffee. And hot chocolate (who doesn't?). But I'm not going to drink a plain glass of hot water. Blah! Or heat up my juice. That's just crazy, man.


  1. This makes me very happy. Not to underscore the sheer stress of balancing the relationship with the unless, but having people to be there to help who love your daughter while you are pregnant, that is just such a blessing. I didn't have that and I had so much extra stress from having to make do while pregnant with a toddler. I hope everything stays peaceful and if I could thank your unless for meeting you at the bus each day, I would :)

  2. Unless is supposed to read "inlaws" silly autocorrect

  3. LOL about the autocorrect! Thanks, Karen! I'm happy this arrangement is working out well and hope that despite needing their help with this sort of thing, they won't just ingratiate themselves into EVERYTHING in our lives. That's annoying. They often don't realize boundaries are there but they have been learning over the last few years. Hey, when are you moving? Soon, right? You'll have to blog about your new adventures and if you guys take a trip over here to China, let me know! xoxox

  4. I know all too well what it's like having someone who is around much too often and is far too much of a "presence." I am talking about that person I vented to you about. Argh! Any day she has off from work, including but not limited to EVERY WEEKEND, she is here!

  5. Thanks Erin! You can vent to me any time. It totally sucks when someone butts into your life too much. How much more lovely the relationship would be if MIL would wait to be asked to help, because with the new baby coming, that's going to be happening soon. I will need her help. But right now, I so want to enjoy being able to cook things I want to eat and how my house stays relatively clean. Except for our insane kitchen sink that decided to bust a leak in one of the pipes inside the wall. Oh fun this will be to fix. Stay tuned for that one! In any event, keep me posted about you-know-who and vent away! xoxo