All I Really Want - UPDATED!

Knowing that we'll be in the US soon makes enduring the food here easier. Even though Jeremy is an excellent chef, there are times when I have simply had my fill of Chinese food and need something that is comfort food by MY standards.

So now, I got to thinking about all the things I can't wait to sink my teeth into when we get there. Here's my ultimate wish list. I'd tell my Mom to take note but I can pretty much bet she's thought of everything on here. None of this will surprise her in the slightest. I can see her saying, "Well, DUH, Jennifer!" Thanks, Mom! I love you!

Jennifer's American Foodie Dreams:

Key lime pie. A whole one. Not so I can eat the whole thing but so my husband can see what he's been missing his whole life.
Conch fritters.
Stone crabs.
Crab cakes.
Chocolate chip pancakes from IHOP. With whipped cream and strawberry syrup on top. And a side of hashbrowns.
Mozzarella sticks.
A roast beef sandwich.
Corned beef on rye.
A reuben.
All kinds of deli meats piled high on rye. Or challah. Or both. With cheese. And good mustard. 
An everything bagel, toasted, with chive cream cheese, chopped onions, capers and smoked salmon.
Home fries.
Biscuits and gravy.
A cheese platter with all kinds of cheeses on it (especially brie and Gorgonzola).
Gorgonzola burgers.
Guacamole. Guacamole. GUACAMOLE!!!!
Nachos from Moe's with extra guacamole.
Burritos from Chipotle with, you guessed it, extra guacamole.
Carrot cake.
Tuna salad from Stuart Fine Foods (or whatever they call it now...oh God...it's STILL there I hope, yes?).
An Italian Special sub from LaSpada's if we go down to Ft. Lauderdale. If not, Publix Boars Head version please.
Pizza from the little place down the street from my folks'.
A Mexican fiesta, or at the very least, a meal at the awesome Mexican place by my parents' house.
EVERYTHING my mom cooks, especially her Boursin chicken and prime rib roast. Oooh! And her chicken noodle soup. Oooh! Oooh! And her lasagna! And brisket! And meatloaf! *drool*
Barbecue. Burgers, steaks, chicken...the works. American-style.
Bloody Mary's.
Mojitos.
Mimosas.
Gin and tonics.
Little Debbie Swiss Cake Rolls. Oatmeal pies. The zebra cakes. Oh God. One of everything, please.
Caramellos.
Broccoli and cheese soup.
French onion soup.
Lobster bisque.
Publix subs. Especially the chicken tender sub.
Ben & Jerry's Phish Food. And Half Baked. And any of those new ones with the cores of awesomeness in them, especially if the core is caramel.
Arby's. Beef n' cheddar. Curly fries. Horsey sauce. Jamocha shake.
Hot off the line glazed donuts from Krispy Kreme.
Dunkin Donuts. Chocolate glazed and Boston cream.
Potato skins.
Buffalo wings. With bleu cheese dressing. And bacon cheese fries with a side of ranch.
Bar food...onion rings, jalapeno poppers and all that fried nonsense.
A Nathan's hot dog with sauerkraut and mustard.
Chili! With cheese on top!
Americanized Chinese food - shrimp with lobster sauce, egg foo young, mushu pork, garlic eggplant...what? I said I'm sick of Chinese food here in CHINA. Americanized Chinese food is totally different. I need it. Especially shrimp with lobster sauce.
Bratwurst.
Italian sausages.
Baked stuffed artichokes. Oh artichokes, how I love thee!
Philly cheese steak.
Gyro. With extra tzatziki sauce.
Miami Subs. It's still around, right?
Cheese ravioli. And tortellini. Lobster ones wouldn't suck either.
And speaking of lobster...
Oh yeah. Boiled. With a side of drawn butter.
Oysters on the half shell.
Cannollis. 
Fish without bones. I'm so sick of spitting bones out with every bite over here. Gah!
Shrimp cocktail. I miss cocktail sauce!!!! I'd lick it off my own arm if I had it right now.
Cupcakes.
Those soft sugar cookies with the frosting on them. From Publix.
Pizza rolls and bagel bites!
Boston Market! OMG! Creamed spinach. Mashed potatoes with gravy.
Homemade mac n' cheese. NO BOXES!
Bacon! Bacon! Bacon!
BLT! BLT! BLT!
Buttery popcorn. Doritos. Cheetos.

UPDATE!
Some of my friends were quick to point out some very wonderful items that I'd stupidly neglected to put on this list. It's not like I haven't thought of them or told Jeremy tales of them but rather, as I was writing this list, I just forgot to put it on there. My apologies Cuban cuisine, because you I do so deeply miss. Black beans and rice. Cuban sandwiches. Cafe con leche. Guava and cheese pastries. Fried plantains. EVERYTHING. OMG. No, I did not forget you in my heart. Just on my list. 

Unlike Hall and Oates, I could go for that. Totally. ALL of that. There's probably more stuff too that I'm forgetting. If you'd been away from your home country for a long time, what would you want to eat? Is there anything in the US that you think I've been missing? Tell me in the comments, either here, on my FB fan page or tweet at me.

Look out, America! Here we come!

Boo.

Well, that just sucks. Despite 2015 starting off in a weird way, I had high hopes that things would get better. But that's proving to be a challenge.

Unfortunately, my father has been having some issues with his right leg and his back lately. Even more unfortunately, the problem has persisted and now has rendered him unable to travel. So the big trip he and Mom were planning to make to Qingdao to see us and then to Singapore to see my brother and my pregnant sister-in-law had to be canceled. To say we're all very disappointed is the understatement of the year.

I'd found out this sucky news when I came back from a day of being spoiled, courtesy of Qingdao Family Guide, the magazine I write for out here (you can check out my latest work by viewing the magazine here) and the salon Raphael Perrier. I was chosen for our hot mom makeover and spent the day getting my hair and make-up done. I haven't had a new look in years and was so excited that I'd be getting one just in time for my parents' visit. But then, I checked my email and suddenly I didn't feel happy about being pretty anymore.

Maybe I'll still post about my new look later. I know I should but I'm completely bummed out. I couldn't sleep, even when Seoul was asleep. All I could think about was Daddy and how lousy he must be feeling to have canceled this trip. My father is a very strong and active person. I know canceling this trip depresses him as much as it does me.

Raelynn is sad but taking it much better than me. I could learn a thing or two from her. She wants to kiss her Papa so he'll feel better but for now, she says she can't wait to see Papa and Mimi at their house this summer. Me neither.

Anyway, if you're the praying kind or just a well-wisher, I'll hope you'll send good vibes our way, particularly to my dad. We hope that through physical therapy, he'll be able to avoid having surgery and that he will feel back to his usual self soon.

Jeremy and I are both really disappointed that we won't get to share Chinese New Year with my parents. The Small Chinese New Year celebration is tonight but I don't feel much like celebrating now.

The Postman Never Rings Once

My mom is the queen of sending the most rockin' care packages ever. Seriously, give this woman a crown. She deserves it. She's sent us many a'package while we've been here. Like this one here. But I think you might remember this package best. It's the one that should have arrived for my birthday, but alas, China Post is just sloth-like when it comes to delivering things.

At the beginning of December, my mom had told me she had just dropped 2 packages to us and was hoping they would be delivered by Christmas. She's a dreamer, but hell, so am I. She sent them in plenty of time too, but of course we wouldn't get them by the 25th. I should be thankful they arrived before 2015 though.

In them, my folks had sent wonderfully thoughtful gifts for the girls and some of my favorite food items...powdered donuts, swiss cake rolls, sinful candybars...oh yes. Delightful stuff, all of it.

The packages were both the same size and roughly the same weight. Not exceedingly heavy but not light as a feather either. For 2 weeks, my husband had called every day to find out if the packages were at the post office closest to us yet. Nope. Nope. Nope. And then finally, Jeremy called me from work to tell me the packages were here! I jumped for joy getting ready to fling open the door for the delivery guy but my husband told me not so fast.

See, they delivered them. To the store downstairs. Where they deliver packages when no one is home so they don't have to try to come back and deliver them. So when you get home, you go to the store and sign for your package and carry it away.

"But I'm home!" I wail into the phone! No one had called or knocked or anything. And that's when my husband tells me they told him they couldn't find anywhere to park so they just delivered them to the store.

Yes. Because they didn't need to stop the fucking van to get out and take out 2 fucking packages and go into the store with them. No, they drove right into the store and tossed those packages out the window at the clerk. *facepalm* The real story here is that some dolt just didn't feel like carrying 2 packages up 6 flights of stairs to a woman who was home alone with a baby and one small child and couldn't possibly come get them herself. Thank you, asshat!

Anyway, at least I have more chocolate to comfort me in those moments of homesickness. I swear, it's getting worse. I was just sitting at the table yesterday and I burst into tears. Maybe I'm still just out of it from being sick. Maybe I'm getting sick of MIL being here to help me. Maybe I realize that vacation fucking sucks ass when you live on this side of town and your husband is busy at work all day, leaving you with 2 small children. Or maybe I just feel like that because I was too sick to enjoy it for the last week.

Whatever the case, here's some photos of the girls enjoying the gifts they got from their Papa and Mimi. Thanks again Mom and Dad! I love you guys so much!

Finally, a toy that is all mine mine MINE! Bwahahahahahahaha! Seoul is thrilled she has something that is not a hand-me-down. She loves this doll!

Raelynn models one of her new outfits and snuggles her Palace Pet. She especially loves this pink shirt with the dogs and hearts on it. She wants to wear it every day.

My Parents Are More Awesome Than Yours

Whoever said that the best things come in small packages obviously never received a package from my folks.

It wasn't too long ago that we had the lazy postal worker that complained about having to deliver the package to our home. And then thankfully before my husband could pick it up, a non-lazy postal worker didn't balk at doing his job.

Mom is amazing and yet again went to all this trouble to send us yummy treats from America. You can't fully understand how special it is to get care packages until you move abroad. I can't even begin to thank my parents for being so totally awesome.

Before Jeremy left for Guangzhou to go get Seoul's US passport, he called around the area post offices, trying to track down the package. My mom had said it had been 3 weeks. Surely it must be here by now. Mail here is insanely slow but I still hoped it would be here. Next week is China's National Holiday and the post office is closed all week. I was worried I would have to wait until after the holiday.

A few phone calls later, Jeremy finds out that the package is down in Shanghai, clearing Customs. There are no direct flights from the US to Qingdao so this makes sense. It probably flew on the same route my parents take when they come to China for visits. Anyway, they tell him they will let him know when it's here.

Very late last night, Jeremy came back from Guangzhou. He successfully picked up Seoul's passport and her CRBA (Consular Report of a Birth Abroad) certificate. He also picked me out a new coat, scarf and a shirt-dress that by the grace of God mostly fit. It's my boobs. I'm a breastfeeding mommy and I can't help it. A pair of leggings and a tank top underneath should help do the trick though.

I couldn't sleep until I knew he was home safe. Once he was, it was Snoozeville for me. But around 4am, I had some difficulties with Seoul going back to sleep. And by 7am, I was still not very well-rested. At 9am though, I got a break. Seoul was ready for a morning nap. When I put her to sleep, I went to sleep myself.

Apparently, during this time, I slept so soundly that I didn't even hear Jeremy leave. Or come back for that matter. I awoke an hour later feeling as though just 5 minutes had passed. Jeremy sat at his desk working. Seoul had woken up and I was nursing her. As I lay there with the baby, I told Jeremy how I wished they would deliver our package. "Mmm hmm," he says, not looking up from his work. When Seoul is done, I get up and it honestly takes me a while to register that there is a very large box in our living room. THE PACKAGE!

"When did this get here?!?" I shout excitedly. Jeremy's busy laughing his ass off. He can't believe I didn't notice the package for a good 10 minutes while I'd stood there talking to him.

Of course, I'm sure it didn't look like this when Mom sent it off...

 I hope nothing fell out. The package was filled to the brim with stuff though so I think everything was in there. I wonder if Customs ripped this open. That would explain some of the mess.

This was basically how the inside looked. Gobs and gobs of things from candy bars to spices to taco kits to fruit snacks for Raelynn. My Swiss Cake Rolls! And donuts. TONS of donuts. There were also those cocktails in a bag that you freeze to get an alcohol slushie. Yes please!

I'm so excited about the spices. Non-Chinese spices are really expensive here. I'm equally as stoked about the parmesan cheese. They sell it here but in a teeny-tiny container for 35 rmb. That's pretty expensive for such a small amount. I would have taken more care with taking photos of everything if not for my worry that if I didn't clean this up before Raelynn came back from playing with her grandparents, I'd never be able to get her away from the candies and sweets. That's all I need is for her to eat ALL the Milky Ways!

One bag of donuts had exploded on the voyage. Or when Customs attacked it. Not sure which but we were able to salvage some of it.

There was also one of those boxes of Entenmann's donuts that had taken a beating on the journey. One side of the box was torn. So we've started with the opened donuts and have made eating them a priority. Ok, I'm trying not to eat too many donut bits because I don't want to look like a cow when I go back to work soon. But man are they good! Still, I don't want the school children asking me if there's another baby in there. No, no there isn't. But hey, now you get this extra pile of homework. Bwahahahahahaha! Thankfully, I don't look pregnant at all anymore but if I eat all the donuts myself, I definitely will.

For this fabulous package, and making me feel less homesick, and for everything they do for me, that is exactly why my parents are way awesomer than yours. Thanks Mom and Daddy! We love you!

I Will Not Take These Things For Granted

I couldn't have gotten a better surprise today than getting my package from my folks finally delivered to my door. After all, it is the 4th of July. And this holiday notoriously makes me homesick. Not quite in the way Christmas does, but I miss my family and friends. And I miss my country, even with all its' faults. It's still my country and I can't wait until we can come home.

Raelynn stood by as I opened it up. She knew Papa and Mimi sent her some presents and she couldn't wait to see. Neither could I. Mom always does the best job at picking just the right things. Things that when I lived in the US, I totally took for granted. You probably take them for granted too, don't you?

Some of those things:

Bags of mini donuts. You don't know what you've got 'til it's gone. Come to China and I dare you to try to find this, or Little Debbie's, or anything supremely delicious like this in any of the aisles. You won't. In the biggest cities like Shanghai, Beijing, Shenzhen or Guangzhou, there's likely a better selection but I can tell you that these bags of donuts do not exist in this country. Mom put 4 of them in there. You rule, Mom!

American candy. Just look at this bag full of candy bars. I know my mom loves me when I look at this. Not that I doubted her but she knows the pain I feel. In China, you can walk into just about any supermarket or convenience store and the selection of chocolate candy will be the same: M&Ms (plain and sometimes peanut), Hershey bar, Snickers, and Dove chocolate bars (most of the time, only dark chocolate). In a few upscale locations, you can find some imported chocolates, like Ritter Sport. We used to buy those at Metro (until those hosers decided not to honor family memberships anymore) for 11 rmb each. Then the price rose to 16 rmb each. In Watson's and all other stores you see them in, they are about 20 - 22 rmb each now. For one bar of chocolate. Imports from other countries can be even worse. And if you dare suggest I ingest Chinese chocolate, I will hurt you. It tastes like sawdust. No offense, China, but when it comes to chocolate, you better step off. Stick to something you're good at, like dumplings. 

It wasn't all candy and donuts though. The rest of the box contained some other equally as amazing items, like cans of artichokes (rare to find here and if you do luck out, they cost an insane amount) and hearts of palm (can't find here), low sodium salt (Mom was reading up on my blog to think up that one), Stove Top Stuffing (something I haven't seen in years and cannot even wait to make), cans of Manwich (hello sloppy joe's!), cake mixes (flavors that can't be found here like red velvet - and she even sent the cream cheese frosting, also unavailable here), fruit snacks for Raelynn, Goldfish crackers (also for Raelynn), capers and much more.

For non-food items, we got some books for Raelynn and me, including this amazing coloring book with a magic paint pen that only writes inside this book. It's genius. Why didn't I think of this? Feel free to send more of these in the future because it kept Raelynn quiet as a mouse for 30 blissful minutes.

My mom also picks out the most adorable clothes for her grandchild. Unlike someone else we know (coughcoughMILcough) who picks out things like this and this. Oh God, and this. No, no, no. My mom would never be capable of sending anything as vile as those things.

 How darling is this summer dress?

 Or this one?

 I just love the embroidery on this one...it reminds me of a dress I had when I was a little girl. A dress I loved.

And this little outfit is just adorable! See what I mean? Mom +100; MIL -1,000,000.

Oh and here's a view of some of the other stuff from the package as I was trying to organize it.

Care packages like this one really help me feel a little less homesick. We've received many wonderful packages over the few years we've been here, mostly from my folks and from my brother and my sis-in-law, but also from friends. Last year, 2 of my friends kindly sent small packages of Easter candy, something you can't find over here. And a few months ago, my friend Natalie sent me an incredible package of stuff including Girl Scout Cookies, definitely not available in China. If you ever feel like sending us a package, just message me for the mailing info. The only thing better than packages full of goodies though is the people they come from. I wish my family and friends could mail themselves on over but for now, I'll cry into my candy bars.

Thank You, Non-Lazy Postal Guy!

After the build up and quick disappointment yesterday, thanks to the lazy postal workers who didn't want to deliver our package from my folks because it was "too big," I needed a day like today.

My husband had a client arriving from Korea who he had to shuttle around the city today. He hates when this happens because that means he's not just working all day but he won't be home for dinner. Or in time to say goodnight to his daughter. And of course, it also meant he couldn't go pick up my package that those lazy folks over at the post office wouldn't bring to us. So that's a bummer. Plus, being here, far away from my friends and family on 4th of July, it just added to my homesickness.

So imagine my surprise when Jeremy calls me in the late morning with some fabulous news: another postal worker (apparently the only non-lazy one) called him up to tell him he was bringing us our package. Normally, even non-lazy workers will balk at climbing up 6 flights of stairs to bring you a package but Jeremy made sure to tell him I am 9 months pregnant with a small child at home and cannot come down to retrieve it. No problem. This guy was totally awesome. He hauled that big box up the stairs, sweaty and gasping for breath, but with a smile on his face the whole time. I love when I encounter people like him here because it restores my faith in there being good people out there in this world.

Does this package look excessively enormous to you?

I mean, it's big but not so big that I can understand why the other postal workers were complaining. It's not like it's the size of a full-size refrigerator. Or even a full-size refrigerator itself!

Anyway, thank you Non-Lazy Postal Guy! Thanks for doing your job and making a very pregnant, homesick expat very happy today.

Lazy Is As Lazy Does

About a month ago, while Skypeing with my folks, my mom tells me she's sending a big package for my birthday. My folks know how homesick I have been lately and it really made me feel extra special because I know my mom in particular went to great lengths to fill up a box full of things from back home, most of which I cannot find over here.

They mention the box should arrive before my birthday. My father emails me about 2 weeks ago to tell me that USPS said that the package should arrive on June 27th, the day before my birthday. But the 27th comes and goes, as does my birthday, without any calls from China Post. I'm sad but I know that in China, things are just incredibly slow.

How slow? Let me just tell you...

My mom sends me the tracking number from the package and Jeremy calls the local post office to see if he can get things moving along. He talked to several different people at the post office, each one telling him something different. One even told him the tracking number he provided was missing a digit (it wasn't). My husband sat on the edge of the bed to deliver the news: that Chinese people are lazy and they don't seem to want to get up from their desks to take a look around for what, in a sea of packages all labeled in Chinese, would be the one box that would stand out from the crowd with English all over it.

Then, about an hour and a half after Jeremy left for work, he calls me. Guess what, he says...the post office called him. They've found the package. Oh good. Thanks for actually doing what they pay you to do and start distributing the mail and parcels. So I ask my husband when they'll be coming around with my package. And here's where it gets even lazier, and funnier...

He says they told him he has to go pick it up because "the box is very big." Yes. Seriously. The post office, which is in charge of delivering mail in the form of letters and boxes, told my husband he must pick up the box because the box is very big. They don't want to bring it the short distance over or carry it up 6 flights of stairs, even though that is what the postal workers are supposed to do. Now I have to wait until Saturday when my husband will have time to pick it up during their business hours. Sigh.

America, move over. You have a new contender for laziest country.

I'll Be Homesick For Christmas

The last Christmas I spent at my parents' house in Florida was in 2008. Can you believe that? In 2009, we were all in Seoul visiting my brother Phillip, and despite being far from home, we were all together for a gorgeous white Christmas. I moved to Seoul myself in February of 2010, then to Qingdao, China in November 2010, so every Christmas since has been spent here.

Jeremy, Raelynn and I have managed to make our own little traditions revolving around our slightly pathetic little Christmas tree and I'm happy we can make special memories together. It will be Raelynn's 3rd Christmas this year and now she's old enough to know what's up. She was worried Santa wouldn't come and we've been lording it over her head so she'll be good. She's currently sound asleep this Christmas Eve, hopefully having sweet dreams.

And in our room, I'm missing my family and the traditions we had together when I lived in the states. Christmas at my parents' house is an amazing event. It begins whenever we roll out of bed to open gifts. Even the family dog, Tasha, knows Christmas is special and she's ready for the fun too. We enjoy mimosas and exchange presents, then Mom makes some insanely delicious things for breakfast. Florida is lovely at this time of year. The sun is warm but the air is cool and comfortable. Perfect for lounging by the pool. Drinks and a dip in the water. Small lunch to tide us over. Then Mom begins making an epic meal. I assist and we watch A Christmas Story over and over and over again on TNT, never tiring of it as we recite it verbatim. After a dinner that about makes us all pop, we lazily help Mom clean up and then one by one, pass out from our glorious food comas. Yes, Christmas at the Raskin house is something I miss dearly. I miss my stocking which, to my knowledge, they STILL hang up even though I'm not going to be there to see it. I miss all the Christmas decorations Mom adorns the home with. And most of all, I miss my folks. And Tasha.

I just saw my family a couple months ago in Shanghai. It was a great visit, but like all great visits, it just flew by. About a month ago, I Skyped with my folks and they'd told me they were sending us a package for Christmas. I thought it was incredibly sweet and figured there would be a gift for Raelynn and some chocolate. When it arrived and I opened it up, I was so touched by this package. I never expected them to go to such great detail. There were some clothes for Raelynn, a talking Dora doll, a Dora book, a Dora adventure phone and a variety of other little things for their only grandchild. And then there was the chocolate. Mom sent me so many of my favorite chocolatey treats I couldn't believe it. Things you can't find in China. AND some cans of artichoke hearts (they are insanely expensive here) and packets of Hollandaise sauce. To top it all off, they even included 2 whole rolls of Christmas wrapping paper and a small Scotch tape dispenser. Over the last few years, I've missed my folks during Christmas, but this year, I miss them even more. I wish we could be in the same place so that they could watch Raelynn open her gifts.

My husband of course understands this and has done everything to make me feel less homesick. He likes to hear about how my family celebrates Christmas. But he also likes to make our Christmas here as special as possible so that I feel less sad. My school is one of the few schools here to be closed on Christmas so I have the day off to spend with my beautiful Raelynn and to attempt to cook a meal even 1/4 as awesome as my Mom would make. Also, no MIL! Hooray! That might just be the best gift of all next to my 2 months of paid vacation that starts in January. I guess it's a very Merry Christmas after all!

Retail Therapy

It's amazing how refreshed you feel after going shopping, isn't it? I have always loved shopping. ALWAYS. It's one of my absolute favorite things to do. Even in tight financial times, to just buy myself a little tube of lip gloss or a shirt from the sale rack would do wonders for my well-being. Add to that the company of one of my gal pals (or even my fashionably awesome gay friend), some lunch and some wine, and it was a recipe for total rejuvenation.

When I lived in Seoul, I must confess that I went shopping almost daily. It's true. There are shops everywhere. Underground in the subway stations and all along the streets. So many great finds for so incredibly cheap. Clothes. Shoes. Purses. Make-up. It was like I'd died and gone to shopping mall heaven. Then, I got pregnant and my last shopping trips before we moved from Seoul consisted of buying maternity wear.

And now we're in China. The street markets aren't as awesome (or clean) as the ones I'd come to love in Seoul. But there are malls here of course. That's not the problem. It's trying to navigate a mall with a rambunctious toddler. I don't know how anyone does it alone. It's so stressful that I have put off shopping for ages just because I cannot deal with the pretty and shiny things AND mind what my child is doing. How do other moms do this, I wonder to myself as I struggle to pick Raelynn up off the floor she has somehow become so attached to while everyone stares at me and everyone in a 12-mile radius becomes deafened by her shrieking.

No matter how crazy she can be, she is my kid and I love her to pieces. I love spending time with her and my heart hurts when I am apart from her. But every mommy needs a break sometimes. And that includes THIS mommy!

I had made plans with a gal pal of mine who's still here for the summer unlike most of the other expats who have all gone off on trips to home. It was just going to be us girls, having some lunch and drinks. I can't even begin to tell you how much I was looking forward to this outing. I NEEDED IT. My husband is starting to understand this aspect of my culture - that sure, married couples need to hang with other married couples BUT women will ALWAYS need their girlfriends. Here, I have found it extremely difficult to make friends. Even in Seoul, it was so much easier to make friends. I actually had found 3 wonderful girlfriends here, but 2 of them moved to other parts of China and the other one moved back to her home of Australia.

Anyway, I lined up my in-laws to come over and watch Raelynn during the day, which would kill 2 birds with one stone. I'd have someone to watch my child (albeit someone with a pea-brain) and my in-laws would get to spend time with Raelynn which they of course enjoy doing. I even confirmed with this friend yesterday if we were still on and she told me that yes, we were still having our girls' day. So imagine my surprise when I get a text (not a call mind you, but a text) last night asking me to call her because she didn't want to wake the baby. She'd sent it around 9pm, when we were out to dinner with my husband's old soccer coach who has been visiting all this week, but I was too busy trying not to gag on huo guo, which means hot pot. I HATE HOT POT. I totally do. You have a big pot of boiling water on your table and you drop in raw meats and veggies and then pull them out after they have been boiled. Then, you are supposed to drag them into this slimy peanut sauce. I HATE IT. They gave me some soy sauce to dip my food in which helped a bit but it still was not what I wanted. All through that meal, I kept thinking that the next day, my friend and I would eat something normal. Something Americans find delicious. Not soggy meat in slimy sauce.

Once we were home and Raelynn was asleep about an hour later, that's when I saw her message. My heart sank. I knew right then she was going to bail. It was so epic too. When I replied to her text, she responded that because she's changing schools this semester, she's having a visa crisis and might get deported. I stood there, staring at the phone in disbelief. They have made some changes to the visa requirements recently, but I've never heard of a school not being able to extend a visa for a teacher while things get taken care of. I felt sorry for her but then, a bit angry. Because here she is contacting me at 9pm about this. Surely, she didn't just find this mess out after her dinner, no? Of course not. And that's when I just felt like giving up on making friends here completely. By the way, for my guy friends here - you all are great. Really. You and your wives and your sweet kids are all wonderful friends, but I'm complaining about a lack of girlfriends here.

All this made me so sad for home. So much sadder than usual. So all my girls back home (and my girls in Korea too) - you all know who you are too - thank you for being my friends even while I am so far away. I need you more than ever now. I look forward to a day where we can go shopping with reckless abandonment (or somewhat reckless anyway). A day where we can drink so much wine that we need one of our husbands to come get us. A day where we can eat the most fattening sampling of desserts ever and not once think about all those horrid calories flocking to our asses and thighs. Yes, girls. When I come back home, it's on.

Jeremy of course hates to see his wife sad. And of course he owed me for the foot incident, not to mention the whole watch-losing-drunken-situation. So when I told him to tell his parents not to bother coming to watch Raelynn, he said no way. He'd reschedule his morning for me and take me shopping in Taidong, which is basically a giant outside mall of walking streets filled with all kinds of shops, and then we could have lunch together, just the two of us. We had been wanting to do something like this for a while and now with my so-called friend's flake-out, it seemed like the perfect opportunity. We haven't had a date without Raelynn since our anniversary last September.

Raelynn was understandably quite upset to be getting the shaft as she realized we were leaving her with Grandpa and Grandma. I felt my eyes well up with tears as she cried for me when I walked out the door. No. Must be strong. Must do something for me so I can be a good mommy for her. Off we went. It was so weird to be in the car together and not hear Raelynn counting or pointing out buses and taxis. Or screaming for crackers. Or just screaming in general.

When we got to Taidong, Jeremy asked me where I'd like to go first. One of the things I wanted was to get new shoes for Raelynn. She needed a pair of nice dressy shoes to go with this awesome fancy dress my folks had sent her. I had the good sense to trace her foot so we'd know we were buying the right size shoe. In Taidong, there is this awesome baby store but it is chaotic. Having Raelynn with us just makes it so much more stressful. Now was our chance to buy the shoes quickly, without any tantrums or fuss. But my husband wagged his finger at me. No, you first. We will buy something you want for you first, he insisted.

So we went to my favorite little make-up shop. The woman who owns it has lots of make-up imported from Korea, some knock-offs of high-end stuff, and even some stuff from the states. All of it at great prices. She's also patient as I try to speak to her in my poor Chinese. It helps that I can gesture to her about what I'm looking for. If I have more specific questions, my husband helps me ask her. After buying me some nail polish and eye make-up, we make our way to the fancy department store. Unlike the small make-up boutique, it is air-conditioned, and we kind of just bask in that coolness for a moment before moving on. We look at iPads. We look at jewelry. We look at...Skin Food.

When I first went to Korea, I remember being in a taxi and seeing a store called Skin Food and about peeing my pants laughing my ass off. All I could think of was the old Ren & Stimpy cartoons with Powdered Toast Man scraping his face off.

But of course, Skin Food has nothing to do with him. It is filled with tons of amazing skincare products. When I lived in Seoul, it was seriously all I ever used on my skin. And now, there is a kiosk in this mall, which my wonderful husband made a purchase from all in the name of keeping me happy.

Next, we wandered around toward the watches. I wanted him to have a new watch. Watches are important to Chinese people. Just like having a nice car, a nice watch gives you a good status. My husband was tempted to buy a cheap watch at a kiosk in front of the Wal-Mart, where we had wound up running in for an umbrella when a sudden downpour attempted to thwart our fun. But they looked as cheap as their prices. Inside the nice mall, I managed to find him yet another beautiful watch that was just right for him, and just right in price.

After that, we bought shoes and new markers for Raelynn. And then we had lunch at McDonald's. It was so much fun to get to hang out with my husband like that again, sharing our new umbrella in the rain and laughing away the day. He might not be one of the girls, but he sure is one hell of a guy. Thanks for a great day, honey! I love you!

The Great Thanksgiving Blowout

The above photo is from Google's Picasa Web Albums and is for illustration purposes only. Looks like a place I wish I could be though!


Happy Belated Thanksgiving to you all! I hope everyone spent theirs well. Lane took me out for dinner at one of my favorite restaurants here. We brought Raelynn too but to say he took US out to dinner would imply she got to eat. She did not partake of the food there but she did enjoy plenty of milk from the magic milk boobs and she even got to eat some sweet potato before we left home. A good first Thanksgiving for her too, I think!

We didn't have a traditional Thanksgiving feast either. We went to an all-inclusive Japanese restaurant because of the great quality and tons of endless food and booze for a rather cheap price. We'd been invited to a real Thanksgiving dinner by a friend but Lane felt the cost was a bit steep. It was, though I wished we could have gone. Still, we had a good time on our own and got to stuff ourselves with sashimi, lamb chops, oysters, steak and much more.

But whether or not we went out on our own or went to my friend's affair, I missed home. I missed my parents, my brother (who is the closest in distance over in Singapore) and the family dog, Tasha. And I missed Mom's cooking. No one can top her turkey. Or any of her sides. Or her desserts! Oh how I longed to be back home with my family and show my husband and Raelynn what Thanksgiving is all about.

Since I couldn't be with them, I shared some of my favorite Thanksgiving memories of them with my husband. And now, probably to my mom's great chagrin, I will share with you one of the most memorable Thanksgivings ever. Mom, if you're reading this, you know you rock and I love you but enough time has passed that you have to laugh about this now.

It was about 10 years ago. Hell, I think it was longer than that actually. We were in our old house in Plantation, Florida. There were so many family members and friends milling about. We were snacking on cheeses and other tide-me-over items while indulging in lots of alcoholic beverages, playing pool and watching boats go by in the canal. The weather was perfect for a Floridian Thanksgiving.

Mom was busy preparing her 5-star meal of the year. Not that any other meal by her should ever be missed. But Thanksgiving is the meal of all meals. Mom makes some new things each year, but you can count on her to make the juiciest turkey ever, deviled eggs (all others pale in comparison) and her homemade stuffing. My job during this time was the best. I'd offer some prep help but mostly, I got to taste-test everything.

On this particular Thanksgiving, Mom had taken her large Pyrex baking dish of stuffing out of the oven and had set it onto our halogen stove. I'm not sure what she was thinking when she did that. I suspect she was too busy thinking of everything else or it would have occurred to her that this was not a grand idea.

Now, the only reason what I'm about to tell you is so funny is because everyone was outside, thankfully. While outside reveling, we all heard it. KABOOM! We all looked around at each other. "What the fuck was that?!?" I yell. We ran back into the kitchen and there it was. The Pyrex baking dish had exploded and pieces of it and the stuffing it once contained were everywhere. And I mean EVERYWHERE! At this point, Mom hadn't realized that we were all lucky we were outside. She was in a state of panic because her prized stuffing was completely destroyed, having been blown to smithereens all over our kitchen, breakfast nook and den; and she was desperately trying to whip up another batch in time to go with the rest of her top-notch Thanksgiving offerings. Somehow, she pulled it off and for that, and for no one having been injured in the stuffing blowout, we were all very thankful.

When I think about all the Thanksgivings past, I realize that this one is most epic of all because I have so much more to be thankful for. I have a wonderful family and friends, despite the miles between us. I know I am loved. I have my health. And here, I have a kind and loving husband who would move a mountain a pebble at a time if he thought it would make me happy. But of course, what I am most thankful for is my absolutely precious daughter. I promise I will learn how to make a big turkey dinner by the time you will know how to eat everything on your plate. I love you most of all Raelynn!

Raelynn's first Thanksgiving! Happy Belated Thanksgiving from all of us to all of you!

All The Things I Miss About America

In honor of Independence Day and my home country, here is a list I've been meaning to put up for a while. I can't think of a more fitting occasion for it than the 4th of July. For those of you back in the US, party your asses off for me. My friends and family should also know that this list has no particular order as there is nothing I miss more than you guys. And of course, the Raskin family dog, a.k.a. my 'sister' Tasha.  I love you guys! Now, in no particular order...

My mom's cooking. Sitting by the pool at my parents' house. Walking Tasha on the boardwalk in Stuart. Rum runners. Really gooey mac n' cheese. IHOP, especially the chocolate chip pancakes with whipped cream and strawberry syrup. Boysenberry syrup too! Traffic laws (it's every man for himself out here). People that use soap. English as a first language. Choices. Freedom. And freedom of choice. Publix. La Spada's Subs (everyone back home knows just what I mean). Wendy's. PERSONAL SPACE!!! People actually lining up for things instead of stampeding. People not letting their kids piss and shit on the sidewalks like pets. Also, people picking up after their pets. Sweet desserts (some things here like mooncakes look like they'd be sweet and filled with chocolate but they have red bean paste in them. They aren't bad, but if you want a chocolatey cake, that won't cut it). Chipotle. Krispy Kreme (they do have it in Korea but even Shanghai doesn't have a Krispy Kreme! AUGH!). Arby's and their horsey sauce and beef and cheddars. Properly made sandwiches. Pizza WITHOUT corn! Not having to boil water every time I am thirsty. Not being served chicken feet and heads when we order a chicken. American holidays. Barbecues with kegs of beer. Deodorant (there is only one choice at the store here. It's better than nothing but it doesn't work well and it's an aerosal. I'm eternally grateful to my brother for bringing me a bunch when he came to visit after Raelynn was born. If you're reading this now, Phillip, which you must be because you're my brother and you're obligated to, could you pretty please with sugar on top bring a few more sticks? I never want to run out of the stuff!). Toilets in public bathrooms (we just have squatters out here except in the Western establishments like Starbucks and Pizza Hut). And soap in public bathrooms too (I know...ewwww! I bring disinfecting wipes with me EVERYWHERE!). Regular use of air conditioning, especially in very large supermarkets and department stores in the summer. Customer service (while it exists in Korea, it has either not yet made it to China or they stabbed it to death in an effort to get on the bus before it). Just paying for what you want (here, in many department stores, you have to get a voucher, take it to another counter, pay, get a voucher saying you paid and take it back to the counter where you saw the thing you wanted). Sweet Tomatoes. Dishwashers. Dryers. And garbage disposals!

I think that sums it up, though I'm sure since it's been a while, I've probably forgotten something or other.

Proud To Be American

Sure, I moved over 8,000 miles from my hometown to come live in Asia. But that doesn't mean I'm not proud to say I'm an American. Moving out here was something I had to do to change my life. And boy has it changed! However, now that I've been out here for a little while, I realize how many things I took for granted. Things that my friends and family there take for granted as well. It's a different world over here and while I'm happy Raelynn gets to experience this part of it, I don't want her to be trapped here. I want her to know what freedom is. And to have choices. So tomorrow, we fly to Shanghai for a couple weeks so we can visit the US Consulate located there and make her an official US citizen.

Unfortunately, there isn't an embassy or consulate in our city so we had to choose from the two closest...Shanghai or Beijing. We chose Shanghai because we have a wonderful friend there who'd invited us to stay with her. I love Shanghai. Not like I love Seoul of course. But it's surprisingly advanced for China. I almost forgot I was still in China while I was there, quite honestly.

When I first became pregnant, Xiaolong and I had discussed our baby's future. Our baby would be a Chinese American as far as genes went. But what about official nationality? It wasn't hard for my husband to agree with me that our baby deserved the very best. In China, the government treats people like animals, and they respond in kind. People here cut in line, push and shove, relieve themselves in public when there are plenty of restrooms to go to, throw garbage on the ground and a myriad of other offenses. Perhaps I would too if I were born into a country that made it difficult for me to ever advance in life or to ever leave. Xiaolong is one of the lucky ones. He went to South Korea to study and it changed his life for the better, forever. Still, my husband is subject to some, in my opinion, horribly stupid rules from his home land. Chinese nationals must get visas when they go ANYWHERE. China fears its citizens will just leave and never come back. Considering they have a huge population problem, is that really such a bad thing? Anyway, for my husband to leave his country, he must submit a ton of paperwork, prove he's employed and in some cases, put down a hefty deposit to ensure he will return back to China.

The choice for Raelynn was easy for us to make. Sure, we're making this choice for her. But think of all the choices she'll get to make for herself as a US citizen. I think she'll be happy we did this for her. I mean, I do sing her our national anthem and old American folk songs and she never screams during those. In addition to giving her life, we're giving her another precious gift she will always treasure...freedom.