Tuesday, May 27, 2014

Attack Of The Evil Bunny Rabbits!

My old dear friend Penny, may she rest in peace, and I always had this inside joke about evil bunny rabbits. A boy on our school bus resembled one. At least we thought so anyway. Penny is probably now hysterically laughing that awesome laugh of hers from above as she checks out this unwelcome evil bunny rabbit attack on yours truly.

What is an evil bunny rabbit exactly? You must be wondering this. Well, it is a rabbit (duh) that looks demonic. Exhibit A:
Gah! Come closer, if you dare...
And check out the profile...
Augh! Those evil red eyes! They burn! THEY BURN! Why is this thing in MY house? Can you guess? Of course you can...MIL and FIL gave it to us. I really should have a camera crew follow me around for golden moments like that. My FIL pulled it out of his bag and gave it to me, all smiles. I smile too, out of sheer terror. I mean LOOK at this frightfully ugly and maniacal thing! They gave it to us because Raelynn was born in the year of the rabbit. Chinese people take the animal years very seriously. This thing means business too, doesn't it? Eek! All I could do was spit out a "xie xie" and set it on our wooden entertainment center. Maybe I can accidentally-on-purpose break it one day.

Then at work, another devilish entity in the form of a rabbit came calling. On Friday, we'll be having an Economic Fair at school. The parents sent in items to donate for sale at this event. One mom loaded this creepy-ass thing onto the school bus, hoping someone would take it off her hands. Now it seems it will be possessing our playground for all eternity.

It looks like the Nestle Qwik strawberry rabbit, doesn't it? These stupid things are so popular in China. Do they even sell these in the states? Probably not. Because they're evil. And ugly. And stupid. There's a handle on the back so a grown-up can steer a baby or small toddler in it. Like this grandma of the year was doing. It also plays the most creepy children's music I ever heard. Be glad I've spared your ears from THAT midi hell.

Come closer, children.

Closer! Muahahahahahhahahahahahahahaha!

Eek! This is the stuff nightmares are made of!

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