Please Cease And Desist

I desperately need to send a cease and desist letter to my in-laws. Tomorrow is my last day of vacation and those 2 troglodytes keep popping up like a bad rash, interrupting my last moments of relaxation before I go back to work. I know they want to see Raelynn, but it's not like they won't get to spend all of Wednesday and Thursday with her while me and the other teachers suffer through our teacher workdays.

This morning, our land line rang. It was FIL. He said he wanted to come over to bring Raelynn some balloons to make her happy. Yesterday, during the great shopping adventure, my husband had bought Raelynn a big, shiny helium balloon. It was a pink unicorn, just like the balloon we bought her a couple weeks ago.

It had actually lasted a while before it deflated and now we fear throwing it away because of what happened yesterday.

I kept telling her to hold the balloon tightly. I tried to wrap it around her wrist but she wouldn't allow it. She is SO stubborn sometimes! Gah! We somehow managed to get her and the balloon into the car and off we went. When we went to get out of the car, Raelynn insisted on holding her balloon, and again, wouldn't listen to me. So it came as no surprise when she let go and it started to blow away in the wind. I tried to catch it but up, up, up it went. I wanted to cry too. Stupid pregnancy hormones. Raelynn was very upset about the balloon getting away, but she learned her lesson because she keeps telling me next time she'll listen to Mommy and hold on tight to her balloon.

Anyway, last night, my in-laws had stopped by to annoy us see what coat we got in exchange for the ugly yellow one and bring us some snacks from Taiwan that another family member had brought back for us. And that's when Raelynn told her grandparents about the balloon that got away.

So how could I refuse FIL coming over with some balloons for Raelynn? It was sweet. Granted, he didn't go get her a helium-filled balloon (he just brought some plain old party balloons and blew them up himself) but it was still nice nonetheless. He didn't stay long either and that was just fine by me.

Tonight, I made a fabulous eggplant parmigiana and a cucumber dill salad. We were happily digging into it, talking about how the day had been for each of us when the land line rang. It was MIL. She gave us THE lamest excuse ever for wanting to come over and invade our privacy. Are you ready?

And the award for the lamest excuse in the universe goes to MIL for this gem:
I made too many dumplings and now I need to bring the rest of them over to you.

PUH-LEASE! OMG! Just. Stop. STOP IT. We don't need your crappy-ass dumplings. We've got my classic eggplant parmigiana and it kicks your dumplings' asses. Jeremy kept telling her we were almost done eating but she invited herself over anyway. Cow.

So she gets here with her stupid dumplings, which were the oyster ones AFUCKINGGAIN incidentally. And she also trots out this terrible, insanely oversized thing for Raelynn...

She smiles triumphantly, like she's finally picked something we won't despise. Immediately, Raelynn screams she doesn't like it. At least she has some sense. This is definitely much better than many things MIL has chosen in the garment category but this cheap, frilly thing around the collar makes me stabby. It looks like cheap hospital gauze. I hate hate HATE when people, especially MIL, pick out old-lady-style clothes for little girls. HATE!

Here is a closer look at that gauche gauzey thing around the collar and that old-lady doily trim. As if this isn't enough to make you barf up your intestines, it's about 5 sizes too large, just like the ugly coat we had to exchange. *facepalm*

The good news is that Jeremy is in full agreement with me that this thing should be shoved into the vortex of ugly clothes with this, this and this. When she does things like this, it is exactly why I cannot stand her. She is so pushy and interfering. That being said, she should take this damn thing back and wear it herself. It's closer to her size and it looks like it would suit her perfectly.

Let's hope my last day of vacation is in-law-free!