Just One More Thing!

 I have said it before and I'll say it again: I FUCKING HATE THE PEOPLE UPSTAIRS! HATE!

At about 8:25pm this evening, I finished reading to Raelynn. I tucked her into her bed and kissed her goodnight. Jeremy was watching TV, gently rocking a sleeping Seoul in her chair. We smiled happily at each other...our beautiful girls were sleeping now and it was time for us to unwind. Jeremy continued watching TV while I took over watching Seoul. I was about to sneak off for a shower when
RHHHHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!
DRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!
Wap! Wap! Wap!
Wap! Wap! Wap!

Then, a terrified little shriek came through the baby monitor. Our precious Raelynn was scared, much thanks to the imbeciles upstairs using power tools and a hammer now JUST AFTER 8 FUCKING 30 IN THE EVENING.  Jeremy and I ran to comfort her and somehow, by the grace of God, Seoul still slept soundly. I took over trying to soothe a very distraught Raelynn while Jeremy stomped upstairs angrily.

Soon he was back and all was quiet. I got Raelynn to go back to sleep by telling her Daddy beat up the noisy people upstairs. Ok, so he didn't throttle them as I'd instructed but I truly wished he had punched them in the throat. That's what I would have done if I'd gone up there.

He told them that we'd put our 2 children to sleep and that it was too late to be making such noise. And you know what they told him? Oh but we just have this one more little thing to fix! They have said that for 2 months! They also told him they had no time during the day to fix this "one little thing" because they're at work. So sure, go ahead and disturb a family with sleeping children to make your fucking repairs. AGAIN! When you said 2 months ago you had "one little thing" to finish! Why the fuck aren't you done yet?!? And why oh why the fuck couldn't you do it at 6pm when we were all eating dinner? Why now?!? I know why...because people here fucking suck.

Another Reason To Hate The People Upstairs

Back in May, I complained about our new upstairs neighbors. Maybe I should be happy that this unit is finally not being rented out to groups of noisy, filthy and rude migrant workers. That is a plus but this couple is maddeningly annoying. How so? Because since May, they have been randomly remodeling their apartment with no rhyme or reason. Or notice. Every time my husband has spoken to them about the noise, they promise they'll be finished by the next day.

But they never are. And this has been going on SINCE MAY. On Sunday, they were making an insane amount of construction-related noise and Jeremy went to take a look. They were putting hardwood flooring in. Which is funny because all the other noise they made truly sounded like they shattered ceramic tiles, rebuffed the floor, retiled it and then jackhammered that shit out of there. Anyway, they promised on Sunday that this was the end of it all and they would be done that day. Of course they weren't. They kept disturbing the peace through Wednesday.

Today though, it seemed quiet enough. My husband decided to work from home today. He's worried that as we approach the birth of the baby, if he's too far away, he can't help me. He'd been getting sent just outside the city on 2-hour drives lately and he requested due to our situation to stay close to home. So it was nice having him home even though we had to let him work. For lunch, Jeremy sweetly went and cooked for us. Raelynn was busy watching a new TV show she's gone crazy for on Nickelodeon, Peppa Pig. I have to admit it's kind of cute, plus, she's so hooked on it that it buys us 30 minutes of peace.

I took this opportunity to sneak away and check my email. Suddenly, the satellite went out, which isn't anything too unusual. It seems to happen more during this time of year than in the colder months. It's annoying but usually pops back up rather quickly. Raelynn begins screaming and crying for Peppa Pig so Jeremy goes to check out what's up with the TV. It's then that I notice that our WiFi has completely flatlined. And that's spooky because that NEVER happens.

Thinking it perhaps a fluke, I restart my computer. But it still has no connection. The WiFi is gone! Still cooking, Jeremy returns to the kitchen while I console Raelynn and try to explain to her that we have to call the internet people to help us. It takes a while but she finally chills out and I'm able to distract her with old Dora episodes on the iPad.

After lunch, Jeremy calls the internet company and after several back and forth phone calls, we finally get a service guy who comes right out to see what the problem is. We'd of course done all the usual things - restart everything, unplug and then replug the WiFi box - and were still not connected. The most troubling thing of all was that the WiFi box was blinking away like it usually does but we weren't able to connect to anything.

We began to suspect that the people upstairs might have something to do with it.

And wouldn't you know, they likely did? Though from the looks of it, the service guy felt it was probably accidental. This has happened to us 2 other times before but the other 2 times, someone deliberately sabotaged the line in the stairwell. This time, the service guy said it looked like someone snagged something on it and pulled it apart. With these idiots going up and down and up and down with all their remodeling tools, I'm not surprised this happened at all. Just annoyed.

Here's the piece the guy gave to Jeremy that came off our wiring. It was all mangled so he just cut it off and replaced everything.

Thanks, idiots. At least we were spared a visit from the true village idiots today. MIL's sister was meeting her at their hillbilly house out at Laoshan Mountain. Good for her. She should be busy doing things for herself instead of meddling. I can't even imagine being forced to go out there right now though...they don't have A/C in that home. I was uncomfortable when we went and it was September. Imagine how sucky and hot it is there in July! Ugh!

In any event, we're hoping the buttheads upstairs will watch out with their shit in the stairs and not fuck up our cables again. Or begin another remodeling project. This pregnant lady can only take so much you know.

The Sink Saga Continues

Well, I thought yesterday's sink situation sucked. That is until we woke up this morning...

Yup. That's about 1 inch of water covering our kitchen floor. Just in time for Cinco de Mayo. Honey, heat up the grill and I'll make the margaritas! Oh, what's that? You don't WANT a swimming pool in the kitchen? Ok, well then call that repair guy again.

Supposedly, it is the hot water heater under the sink that is to blame. A new one will come tomorrow. My in-laws thought to one-up us and buy us a new water heater for the shower as well. It's kind of them but I do not want them doing this. You know why. Because they will use it as collateral for everyfuckingthing. They will butt into every aspect of our lives even more than they already do. Take right now for example. I have an old goat-faced zombie lurking around my kitchen again. She just showed up while I was about to make dinner and told me she's come to make wontons for Raelynn. GET OUT. She asked if I wanted them. No. Thank you. I'm already sick of your wontons. You make them ALL. THE. TIME. I do NOT want to eat the same food every day. I am not a dog. I have completely lost my appetite. Too bad the swimming pool is gone now...I want to push her into the deep end.

I Spoke Too Soon

Shame on me. I should have KNOWN that even after all that idiotic Chinese-style repair work, we would still have leaks. It was only a matter of time. Our floor stayed dry for one week. Now look...

This is what happens when I wash the dishes. Oh for fuck's sake!

I hate this stupid fucking house. Whoever designed this building should be beat in the face with a brick. If you have first world problems, shove them up your ass. I've got third world problems right here. Stay tuned to find out what will happen next in The Sink Saga.

Home Repairs: The Chinese Way

For the last couple of weeks, we've been having some issues with our kitchen sink. It's been leaking. So much so that my husband and I discussed the possibility of turning it into a swimming pool/kitchen kind of thing. But alas, we agreed having just a kitchen would be most practical. Plus, we didn't want it to become worse and affect the people living below us. We called the repair guy that we usually call in for large messes such as this, because we do NOT want FIL taping things together. You've seen what my FIL has done to try to fix things, right? If not, please step right this way to here, here and here. There was no way we were letting him handle the sink situation.

The repair guy came and after some tinkering around, we figured that was the end of that. But later, after washing the dishes, I noticed the floor was wet again all around the sink. So he came back again, this time replacing some tubing underneath the sink. We thought for sure that THIS was the official end of the matter. But no. The next morning, we woke up to a very wet kitchen floor. Again, he came, and he fixed what he could (without charge) until he could come back for a longer stretch to repair it for good. The problem? The pipes inside the walls of this shitty building were causing the leak.

So on Friday, my in-laws sat here with our repair guy while he did a bang-up job on our pipes. I mean this quite literally. You HAVE TO see what he did. Of course my in-laws think this is normal but I hate it. But if this is my alternative to mopping up a swimming pool every time I wash a dish, then so be it.

They say a picture is worth 1,000 words. Well, these pictures are surely worth 1,000,000,000,000 words...

I was surprised when I came home from work to find the repair guy STILL working away. Even more surprising, he was working in our bathroom. Oh God. He's rerouting ALL the pipes. This should be interesting. I took this photo when I was running in to use the toilet. Being pregnant, I simply could not hold it any longer. I was annoyed because our washing machine was so close to the toilet now.

And here was why! He changed the spigot to be against this wall instead of next to the radiator. So this was as close as it was getting to the wall. I was furious. How am I supposed to take a shower in this place now?!? Or comfortably sit on the toilet?!? Gah!

Lucky for me, my husband called saying to get Raelynn dressed and ready - we were having dinner with his boss and one of his clients. I was relieved, for one, that I didn't have to be trapped inside my house with my in-laws and the repair guy. No offense to the repair guy. And for another, I wondered how in the world I could possibly make dinner with pipes and crap all laid out across my kitchen floor. Or worse...what if MIL insisted on cooking for me? I swear I would have chased her away with the pieces of pipe on the floor if she even tried.

When we came home, the disaster area had all been cleaned up. But the aftermath was still just as intriguing. Here is what it looks like now...

The new pipe comes out from under the sink cabinet...

 And into this cabinet...

 And out the cabinet and on up it goes...

 And up, into this small extra storage cabinet we have above the kitchen door. Or should I say "had" because look at it now...one of the doors to the cabinet is missing (perhaps FIL stashed it away so he could tape it to one of our walls for later use). We can't even cover that up so we're stuck with half a cabinet!

 See?!?!? Geez! Only in this country!

 So through the cabinet it goes out into the entryway of our apartment, by the coat rack.

 And above our door...

 And into the wall just above the bathroom door...

 Why, yes! That IS another over-the-door cabinet that has now been rendered gimpy. I feel like hitting myself in the face with a brick.

 Down it goes along the wall...

Under the bathroom sink...

Behind the toilet...

 Into a clusterfuck of pipes! WTF!

 I will say that at least he raised this spigot up so we could get the washing machine back up against the wall. That I appreciate because the thought of standing in or on my toilet while I showered made me extra, extra, extra stabby.

 And the whole thing ends here, connecting to our water heater for the shower.

Here is the bathroom now. Or rather, before I scrubbed it like crazy this morning. As I did the rest of the house. It was so grimy in here. Now it feels better but it's just so weird having all these insane pipes and half-complete cabinets around.

But at least there's good news in all of this: there's no more leaking in the kitchen. A small victory.

Pigs Are Flying!

From one of my all-time favorite episodes of The Simpsons, "Homerpalooza." "You're damned right I'm going to be pissed off! I bought that pig at Pink Floyd's yard sale!" - Peter Frampton.


OMG you guys! You'll never believe it. I almost didn't either. I thought this would never happen. But today, pigs were a-flying!

First, I'll start by saying my husband backed me up when it came to his parents being too intrusive. Whatever he said worked because I did not have to see those 2 morons for almost a full 2 weeks. It. Was. Bliss. Oh, the simple things in life I tell ya!

Second, and speaking of simple things, and simple things belonging to those with simple minds, my in-laws finally stopped being such cheapskates and actually had a REAL toilet AND a REAL sink installed in the bathroom. NOFUCKINGWAY!

In case you never read my post from about this time last year, or you need to refresh your memory because you're burnt, go here to check that out. As I've stated before, my in-laws pick THE stupidest things to be cheap about and then they will spend way too much money on something they shouldn't have like a stroller that weighs more than a pickup truck. Or ugly clothes and shoes for the baby. Or ugly jewelry for the baby. Oh man, I could go on and on ALLLLLLLLLLLLLL night telling you about the shit they buy that is a waste of money. But ask them to spend money on something important like a fully-functioning bathroom and it's like the most insane suggestion ever to them.

Until now. I don't know what changed their minds. Maybe they wanted to make sure that once Raelynn is potty-trained, she can use the bathroom easily. Maybe they were sick of me scowling at them and complaining whenever I had to use their disgusting bathroom. Maybe my husband finally got it through their thick skulls that it adds more value to their home. Whatever the reason, it no longer resembles an outhouse in some remote village where people use goats as currency. Come and see!

First, let's take a look at how the bathroom sink used to look:

Remember that? You gotta love the upside down plastic bottle to serve as some sort of makeshift piping that allows the water to drop down into that bucket beneath it.

And now, presenting the new and improved sink! Ta da! You'll notice it no longer has a large bucket underneath it to catch the water after it goes down the drain. That's right. It's a legit sink! Who knew! Of course, please note the container of bar soap to the right of the faucet. It is also pictured above on the cracktastic sink they had before. I do not know what the hell kind of soap that is but let me just tell you it fucking smells like burning tires. It is so vile. It is the only soap I have ever used that actually makes me feel dirtier after using it.

Next up, the toilet. Let's take a look at the old one, shall we?

The old toilet looked like it had never been cleaned even once. I should also mention that it was so nasty the last time I saw it that I seriously contemplated going outside to find a bush to squat and pee into because it was so beyond filthy, I didn't even want to go near it. The bucket of water with the scoop next to the toilet was how you would flush it - just scoop some water and toss it into the toilet. How fun! As you can see from the next photo, there was no flusher on this craptacular crapper either...

So are you ready to see the new toilet? No? Too fucking bad. Give a drum roll please, for the real, very flushable, very white and clean TOILET!

I wonder how long it will take for this thing to become as dirty and frightful as the old toilet. Probably not long since my in-laws never use cleaning products on anything. Seeing as I'm on vacation, my husband thinks it's a perfect time for us to go over there once a week for dinner so I'll keep watch for any developing stories in the can.

More In-Law Abstract Art

Just yesterday, I was marveling at the bounty of gifts bestowed upon us by my in-laws. Ironically, at the end of that post, I wondered what other surprises we would find in the remaining days before Christmas. Well, I didn't have to wait long! Now FIL seems to fancy himself an abstract artist as well. I guess he wasn't done just taping our towel rack to a piece of wood and then taping it to the wall where it had fallen off. Silly me! I should have KNOWN it was a masterpiece in progress.

Shall we venture into the bathroom for a look? Come along now!

Hey Jenn, what is it we're looking at, you ask? Why, it's a picture from a magazine! It says "Marina City" which is one of the nice malls here, but my flash makes it hard to read. I have absolutely no earthly idea why he did this. It is just paper from a magazine. It is not laminated. It is not fitted onto something sturdier. IT IS JUST PAPER. You should also be aware that, being in Asia, this is a typical Asian-style bathroom. There is no shower stall. You just shower in the middle of the bathroom. Everything gets wet, though when you're cleaning, it is pretty handy. That being said, how he thought this would be a nice touch is beyond me, especially when it would get wet during the next shower.

Perhaps, since their views on hygiene are vastly different than mine, they didn't think about this being a problem. Or perhaps, this is a work in progress. I say this because I also found these sitting on top of the washer:

These 3 pictures were also cut out of a magazine. One has 4 ships; another has some sort of Chinese-style building. My favorite (and yours too) is the thing that looks like the I'm Just a Bill from Schoolhouse Rock after splicing it with a penis. I am not quite sure what he is planning to do with these pictures...a cheap collage of sorts? Your guess is as good as mine.

So you tell me...what do you think FIL was doing with these things? And do you think he'll finish what he started? Let me know in the comments or on Facebook. I'd love to hear what you all think. I'll keep a keen eye out tomorrow to see if we have any more interesting artwork sprout up. Stay tuned!

Water, Water Everywhere...

A few posts ago, in the middle of my laundry list of current complaints about everyone's favorite (not really) MIL, I mentioned how she'd somehow messed up the kitchen faucet so that it is now loose. And that in her clumsy, half-assed efforts to pretend to wash the dishes (I call what she does pretending as that is all you can call it - every dish she supposedly washes STILL has food on it), when she knocked this thing loose, caused it to now leak out water from underneath the sink somewhere into the cabinet below it and then out onto the floor.

Well, my husband refuses to acknowledge something is wrong with the sink. I don't know about you, but when water is coming out of the sink, I feel it's time to call a plumber. Because, while I personally don't mind mopping the floors, I do mind mopping the same spot on my kitchen floor over 20 times a day. He actually told me to just turn the water on a little because when I turn it on full-throttle, THAT is the reason it's leaking. You know what look I gave him, don't you? Of course you do! It's that look all women have programmed into their genes for when the men in their lives say something this insipid. If you're a man reading this, I can guarantee you some woman somewhere in the world at some time (and likely, many times) has shot you this exact look.

Anyway, for your viewing pleasure (and to prove to my husband he is a chopstick short of a set), here are some photos of our lovely kitchen floor covered with water that has escaped from the pipes of the sink:

This large puddle has oozed all the way to the kitchen door. You can see the bottom portion of the cabinet in the sliver of background there. Yeah, that's not a problem or anything. Sigh.

Here, you can see water all along the fugtacular baseboards. I'm sure my turning the water on too high was the problem and not that old bag of a MIL who comes in here and treats everything with no regard.

 A closer shot of the puddle that has formed just under the cabinets under the sink.

Smile for your closeup, puddle!

 One more puddle closeup!

Oh, how exciting! As I've been writing this, Jeremy has conceded that there might, indeed, be something wrong with our sink. I'm so glad he's gotten on the path to enlightenment instead of the lollygagging around under the bridge where the elves and trolls roam.Well, this is certainly good news. Now we won't need that raft after all!

Let There Be...Tape?

Whoever did the electric in our apartment (and likely this whole building) is the world's laziest and stupidest person. Seriously. China has such a reputation for shit falling apart and it is easy to see why. This building is only 10 years old but it looks more like it's 30 years old. You've seen my father-in-law's handiwork, so just imagine a country full of people who do a totally half-assed job when they fix things. I think of The Simpsons in that Mary Poppins parody episode. You know, the one where they sing, "If there's a task that must be done, don't turn your tail and run. Don't pout. Don't sob. Just do a half-assed job." (I tried looking for a clip to link up from Youtube but was sadly unsuccessful.)

Anyway, we've been having this problem for a while now. When the light in the kitchen gets burnt out, changing it results in it blowing the circuits. Yes, that's right. Poor Jeremy has gotten shocked trying to fix it. Of course, he refused to pay a professional to come in. At the time, I just thought him crazy and a glutton for punishment (he blew the circuit about 8 times trying to fix it that day). But then I realized that we would just be paying another idiotic person who would do a craptacular job. Why not do a shitty job for free?

Anytime my husband tried to screw the light and fixture back to the ceiling, the damn thing tried to screw him. So, he instead taped it back up. Which actually worked. For the light fixture itself, he used a clear adhesive tape which you couldn't see. I would have preferred not to have a light taped to my kitchen ceiling, but even worse would be a barbecued husband. So tape it was.

Last night, I heard a noise while feeding Raelynn in the middle of the night. I couldn't figure out what it was but knew we were in no impending danger so back to sleep I went. In the morning, I had completely forgotten about the noise until I saw our plastic light fixture on the floor and the wiring and bulb dangling from the ceiling. I groaned at the sight of it. That damn thing again. If someone with half a brain had actually wired this place like a real electrician, then this kind of shit wouldn't be happening. Here, things seem to be held together with tape and spit. Quite literally.

When I returned home from work today, the light had been repaired. No, not by a so-called professional half-wit. Not even by my half-wit father-in-law. No, no, no. My husband saw fit to fix the light before going to work this morning. Only he channeled the half-assed spirit and this is what he came up with:

He used package tape! Dear Lord, he used package tape! I am still beside myself that Jeremy himself did this. He usually takes care not to make things look crappy which is why I had initially suspected my father-in-law. This totally looks like something the FIL would have done, especially after that whole thing with the cabinet door that he taped over the satellite cable so Raelynn wouldn't rip it off the wall (that's in this post, which I linked earlier, in case you were too lazy to go look). 

Here's a closer look at the sketchiness that is our kitchen light, now adorned with package tape. I am so envious of my friends with real light fixtures. On the plus side, my husband didn't sustain any injuries (I think my eye incident was enough for one week). Another bonus to having a slapdash light fixture like this is that if it does fall off the ceiling again (as it is known to do every so often), it will not shatter into a zillion pieces that our sweet daughter will attempt to eat. Maybe a compromise is in order. Perhaps a prettier plastic fixture bejeweled with clear tape. Hey, I can dream, can't I?