Kaboom!

I bitch a lot on this blog. A LOT. Hell, that's why I created it in the first place. But have you ever wondered exactly what happens when I completely snap and lose it? Many of my friends tell me I have the patience of a saint for enduring MIL. I really, really try to be polite and cordial as best I can, but this morning, I absolutely flipped my shit on her. Right in front of Jeremy too.

Every weekday while I've been on maternity leave, my in-laws have come in the morning to take Raelynn to play at the mountain park near our home. It's nice for them to spend time together though my husband and I recently discovered how much their lack of common sense really does affect our daughter. Well, HE discovered. I already figured that one out but hey, I get that he wants to believe the best about his parents.

In addition to their spending time together, it allows me time to spend with just Seoul, or to get some extra rest when I get Seoul back to sleep. Each day, MIL dresses Raelynn though, which pisses me off. Raelynn used to pick her stuff out herself and one of us would help her get dressed. Well, the old troll decided to take over letting my daughter pick from her lovely threads because she has been picking her the same kind of shit each day. Like these crappy light-weight pants that MIL of course bought her. There's nothing too horrible about them, when paired with the right top, but MIL will not bother to match it. So when Raelynn does come home, I find her dressed like a mini-MIL and I want to kill. Also, it's still warm out! Why aren't you dressing her in skirts? Or shorts? Or dresses? I get that you're going to a park and you don't need to put her in formal wear but for fuck's sake, choose something appropriate for warmer weather! If I didn't throw her clothes in the laundry basket each night, that old goat would dress her in the same garments every day. I shudder to think if she were able to get into our room and rifle through our dirty things. You know she's done that before just to poorly hand-wash something she's given Raelynn. Cow.

Anyway, I got sick and tired of her not choosing something other than those light-weight pants she bought for Raelynn. So I took them out of the closet and put them in our room. I told Jeremy I did this too because I wanted Raelynn to enjoy wearing her warm weather clothes for the next week or two before she's unable to. Most of these things will be too small on her next year. Why did we buy them? So they could sit in the closet collecting dust while MIL puts her in the same 5 outfits each week? That's so stupid. Especially when that old bat bought her a skirt and a dress that aren't completely unfortunate-looking. Why buy those things and then ignore them every time you go into your grandchild's closet to dress her?!?

Fast forward to this morning. Seoul was making me insane and had been since about 4am. No clue why. At least she was smiling at me when she was doing it though. I think she just wanted to hang, you know? Jeremy had moved to Raelynn's room at some point in the night. I vaguely remember her bursting into our room, crying loudly and he rushed off with her to keep her from waking the baby. It was his way of making it up to me for making too much noise when I was putting Seoul to sleep earlier in the evening, causing me to have to work my ass off for nearly 2 hours to get her to go back down without waking right back up. While he and Raelynn got good sleep, I was busy trying to get to that point with Seoul. No such luck for me. Brief spurts of sleep were all I was able to get. At about 7:30am, Jeremy comes into our room and finds me sleepily rocking Seoul. He asks where I've put the pants. I protest and he snappily tells me it's cooler outside today so Raelynn needs to wear pants. I show him where the confiscated pants are and hand him a pair in black. He leaves.

Seoul has now fallen asleep and I'm thrilled. I'm about to put her down when he comes in, screaming at me. "Where are the thicker pants?!? These are too thin!" Now, the baby is startled completely awake and I'm ready to kill. He's scared her with his screaming and what's worse, is that it's his stupid mother's fault. I'll tell you why...because, front and center in Raelynn closet are - get this - all kinds of pants. Jeans. Cords. You name it. They're all there. In a big stack, because this closet consists of 2 long and deep shelves and there is no choice but to stack things in piles. The thinner pants had been in the middle of this stack until I took them away yesterday. So this fucking idiot woman now can't find the pants she'd deliberately sift through and blissfully ignore to rummage out her vile culottes. My husband was yelling at me. The baby was screaming and this stupid buck-toothed zombie can't even manage to dress my toddler for their outing because she's too senseless to check the rest of the clothes that, up until her arrival, had been neatly arranged in the closet in their respective piles, all folded lovingly by me, for just such a purpose.

And that's when I totally lost it. I screamed at my husband and his fatheaded mother. Mostly at her. I basically told him to shut the fuck up and thanks for waking the baby who I'd spent all that time trying to get to sleep so he could wake it up shouting about pants that were right in his braindead mother's face the whole bloody time. Then, I turned to the head troll herself and unleashed all my rage from the last couple days. Stuff I hadn't yet had the chance to write about - how she either didn't wash the dishes with hot water and sanitize them properly or served us unclean food, causing Jeremy and I have to have stomach aches (Jeremy also wound up with diarrhea) and poor Raelynn to throw up yesterday. How she then, after Raelynn threw up, took her for yogurt AND ice cream. Because! She's THAT stupid. And I went on and on and on, shouting at her and telling her to go fuck herself. I only regret shouting in front of the children, especially Raelynn since she repeats everything now, but in all fairness, Jeremy's newfound love of Pulp Fiction causes him to recite lines with worse strings of curse words, so we're both guilty here.

After I let that all out, I stormed into our room again and went back to work trying to get Seoul to sleep. I could faintly hear Jeremy yelling at his mother over the hissing sounds of the white noise app on my phone. I started to feel bad. Not about telling MIL off, but about being that mean to her in front of Raelynn. I don't have to like this woman but that's my children's grandmother, dumb as she is. And I thought about my husband and how he'd come bursting in at any minute to tell me off for shouting at his mother.

A bit of time passed and I finally got Seoul to sleep again. I waited extra just to be sure. As I was standing up, getting ready to head into the living room, I saw Jeremy's silhouette through the frosted glass on our bedroom door. I braced myself for a lecture. But instead, I got an apology...for waking the baby, for his mother not having enough sense to check the closet for the jeans that were right in her face, for her messing up the closet yet again (because I organize it every time I put the laundry back and am forever complaining about this and now he knows WHY - because she tears it up like a dog burying a bone) and for our house being too small. And I apologize for yelling.

Jeremy tells me from now on, whenever Raelynn has an outing with the idiots, I should lay out an outfit the night before so that way, there are no problems with Dumbo there fucking up the closet and whining she can't find shit that's right in her big dumb face and so I don't lose my mind again. I think my husband wasn't mad at me because I'd been telling him lately, quite calmly and politely I might add, that his mother was getting on my nerves with all sorts of things and that I was teetering on the edge. From the clothes, to the food she'd cook, to her telling Raelynn loudly in Chinese to go tell me to give her the baby when I was busy FEEDING the baby...SO many things! Oh! And last night, she half-assedly washed her hands so she could hold the baby. I protested that she didn't wash well enough and she grabbed her from me. Thankfully, Jeremy intervened and told her, NO. You did not wash your hands properly. Go back and wash them again. Yes, ladies and gentlemen. This is the person that will be watching the baby when Raelynn and I go back to school. How lovely. More reason to despise her. 

Now I feel much better since all that fury exploded out of me. Of course, it is the weekend which means no in-law interactions. I'm going to enjoy it while it lasts!