Monday, June 30, 2014

History Repeats Itself

Just over 3 years ago, I was heavily pregnant with Raelynn and deep in the nesting phase of my pregnancy. It was after one massive scrubbing spree that I decided to document MIL's mess-making ways and, at the urging of many family and friends, turned it into a blog. You can see that post here.

And now it seems, after all this time and all this hard work, history is repeating itself once more, as I try to enjoy the beginning of my maternity leave, prepare for the new baby and spend time with my toddler. It's time to play another round of let's severely piss off the 9-month pregnant woman from Miami, apparently. My husband said that today, his mother would come and cook dinner for Raelynn. I could make what I wanted but she was coming over. Oh good. Because I love cleaning the house just so she can ruin it with greasy messes and other awfulness. Fabulous. Because I imagined the next 25 or so days to be filled with me cleaning up after all of you. How did you ever know? Grrrr...

Anyway, fear not because Jeremy and his family realized they were making a pregnant woman go insane and this time, stopped before she teetered right over the edge. I was promised my kitchen would be restored to the way it looked right after I finished cleaning, disinfecting and polishing everything in there by my husband and he took my maniacal stare quite seriously because he did one fuck of a job up in there. I was even granted reprieve from my in-laws until I ask them to come help or give me a break. And that, my friends, is all I really wanted in the first place. Time to myself without being bombarded with idiots. Because soon enough, I'll need all hands on deck up in here.

For now though, we can enjoy these lovely photos of my clean home and smile at all the changes in my home from that one post to now...
 Our bedroom, neat and tidy. Ahhhh. Not that MIL is to blame for messes in here. No, no. That is my husband's fault entirely. After the look I gave him earlier, I don't think he'll be crazy enough to make a mess in here for a while.

Our room from the other end. Gotta love the laundry drying rack. And yes, I cleaned our floor rugs too. Some people (coughcouchJeremyandhisparentscoughcough) track in so much dirt by not wiping their feet well enough on the entry rug. Sure, go ahead and wipe your feet on my bath mat. I looooooooooooooove getting out of the shower with nice, clean feet only to wipe them on a dirty mat. Thank you!

Living room is clean save for some of Raelynn's toys. She's at least got them confined to the area rug. If you have small children you know it's about impossible to keep everything off the floor. I pick my battles.

More of the living room/dining area.

More of Raelynn cutely eating a snack.

Raelynn's room which, hopefully, this weekend will get a big girl bed in it. Please don't ask why the fuck this is taking so long. I started that journey months ago but no. My in-laws wanted to butt in afuckinggain and apparently FIL has been modifying a twin bed at their home with some sort of frame on the side to keep Raelynn from falling out. I can't even wait to see what kind of fucked up mess this will be. He probably used tape, like he did when he tried to fix that satellite cable to the wall. You know I'll be blogging about this bed when it comes. Which better be this weekend. Because I threw an absolute shit-fit about it. And I should. Because this baby is due in a few more weeks and I need to get our big girl adjusted to her new bed. 
 She may have made a mess with toys on the rug but she kept her room tidy. Thank you, Raelynn! Good girl!

A view across the apartment.

And now, my kitchen, restored to full order. Do you know how long it took me to clean the crud that woman got all over our stove? Go on. Guess. Just guess. Because never have I ever had to work so hard to clean something in my life. 30 minutes. It took me 30 minutes. I did not continuously scrub it for that duration but I had to keep spraying it, scrubbing, then spraying again and coming back to scrub it. She is SO gross. Gah!

 More kitchen, more shiny clean disinfected floors! Yay!

Everything on the shelf is organized as well. It gets messy and crazy up there thanks to my husband. I will have to hurt him if he fucks it up again.

 Sink is freshly scrubbed and looking good!

 Yes, see this, sweet husband? This is how our kitchen should always look. Let's refrain from leaving food out on my clean counters. Or garbage. Or both.

 When it's clean like this, you can see all the counter space we've got. It's so peaceful.

 Ugly Chinese-style bathroom is now very clean too. You can' tell very well from this photo but I assure you this is the best it gets when it's clean. God, I miss US bathrooms.

Front entry after mopping, while rugs were hanging to dry.

 I had to marvel at this because I feared too soon, piles of stinky shoes from my husband and his parents would clog this area up, making it a minefield of crusty crappiness.

 Be it ever so humble, our shitty dining table. Wiped down and surrounded by bleach-scrubbed floors. Ahhhh...

 Now the rugs are dry and back in place. Don't step on that gray one on the left side of the photo with your shoes or I'll cut you!

Oh Raelynn. Mommy will give you a cookie if you get your shit off the floor.

 Ack! Look what's here! Run Raelynn! Run! There's a troll in our clean kitchen! Counter space on the right side vanishing, vanishing! Eyes burning, burning from the sight of those vile pants. Eeyyyyyyyyyyahhhhhhhhhhhhh!

 Mommy, what is wrong with Grandma's pants? They're so ugly!

Seriously. See those pants. WTF. 

 I'll end here with Raelynn laughing at the pants. Ok, she's not laughing at the pants so much as she's laughing at me retching over those pants, but close enough.


  1. This reminded me how messed up our kitchen was because of MIL. I practically had to clean every single day, mostly also she uses to damn much oil in everything (1l oil per week we had to buy, usually this lasts for a month)
    As we have an induction ceramic stove integrated in our kitchen it was a mess to clean as she cleans everything with the same dirty oily rag for months..

    1. My MIL uses up flour that fast. Once, she used up almost an entire bag of it and left me with barely a cup of it. How nice of her to ruin my plans to make pizza dough. Somehow, we don't go through quite as much oil as your MIL does which absolutely astonishes me, given her greasy creations. And I feel you on the oily rag bit. I am the one who does the laundry around here and I am constantly swapping out the kitchen rags and washing them. If I think about how nasty they get in a short time after I have this baby, I will surely vomit my way skinny again.