Thursday, January 16, 2014


I can't think of the word "inconceivable" without thinking of The Princess Bride. I used to love that movie. Until my last ex that is. He quoted it all the time and I honestly can't believe I ever thought it was so endearing of him. That sociopathic monster totally ruined quite possibly one of the best movies of our time for me for so long. Finally, I'm able to think of that movie (and how totally hot Cary Elwes was in it...damn!) without wanting to rip out someone's throat.

In any event, this post isn't about that atrocious creature from my past. This is about an atrocious creature of my present...MIL. Creatures, if you count FIL.

I simply had to use "inconceivable" to describe yesterday's events. Because quite truly, it was nothing short of incredible that both MIL and FIL were HELPFUL! Yes, really! Hey, I bitch about them a lot but I'm happy to give them credit for a job well done. It just seldom happens.

My husband had invited them to come over for dinner yesterday so they could spend time with Raelynn. I don't mind them once or twice a week for a short time. Of course, I'm never usually looking forward to it either. But yesterday, my stomach was really upset. I felt lousy and was spending quality time hanging out with our toilet. Despite this, I somehow managed to get my toddler to pee in her little potty 3 times. I was beat though and I definitely needed a break. I can honestly say I've never been happier to hear the buzzer ring and open the door to the head troll and let her in. I was so relieved that she was there so I could take a nap, undisturbed. See, when I try to nap when it's just Raelynn and me, I put her on the potty so she doesn't have an accident. But she'll call to me every 5 minutes, asking me for this or that, as toddlers do.

Raelynn: "Mommy?"
Me (groggy): "Mmm...yes, sweetie?"
Raelynn: "More milk!"
Me (groggy): "What do we say?"
Raelynn: "Pwease!"
Me (groggy): "Mmm...OK, just a minute."
Raelynn (after only 5 seconds): "MOMMY! Mooooooooooooore! Pwease! Pwease! Pweasssssssssssssssssssse!"

And thus, I must move my ass from the comfort of the bed. It's always after I have found the absolute most comfortable position to lay in and I'm drifting off into the bliss of sleep that she will shout for me. Though lately, she has called me to come look and "see the pee pee in potty!" For that, I get downright excited and practically throw a party.

Anyway, I explain to MIL that my stomach has been upset and I'm quite tired. I also tell her that I'm hungry but I don't want to eat anything that will further upset it. She's quite kind about this and tells me to go rest. FIL arrives just moments later and he and MIL keep Raelynn busy. And for once, they actually keep their voices down. Their Chinese accents can usually peel the paint from my walls. They're usually so loud and brash, squawking away like crazed birds. I was so grateful for that quiet.

They also kept taking Raelynn to the potty. Not one accident occurred while I was sleeping. And they made Raelynn pick up all her toys. The living room was spotless. And! MIL washed all the dishes I'd left in the sink. I hadn't meant to. I would have never left them in there for her to do but I felt so yucky and I had no choice.

AND!!!! MIL even made food that didn't look as disgusting (or reek like raw sewage) as usual.
On the left was some rib thing with celery and onions. I couldn't really get into it because my stomach still felt craptacular and the ribs were chewy. Chinese people love chewy, gristly meats with bones and such, but not me. On the right, I felt like I had gone back to the US and was in a Chinese restaurant there. It's beef with broccoli! It was really good too, though I didn't want to tempt fate with my upset stomach so I only had a little bit. I told her that she should make it again though. Maybe she'll listen and stop making things like lamb and luo bo. Gag!

FIL brings out a bowl of soup. It looks promising...

It's got tofu and oysters in it. On any other day, I would have been fine with this. But I couldn't fathom ingesting sealife with a sick stomach.

Here is the cutest kid in the world eating her broccoli. She took it herself. And that hand there with the broccoli? That's her grandpa's hand. She GAVE him that piece and told him he had to eat it too. Awwww!

Next up, MIL surprised me by making wonton soup. Here they call it "huntun." Sounds similar, right? When I don't feel well, I want to eat something comforting. I have never really thought of Chinese food as comfort food, but wonton soup can comfort me any day. Maybe because I find soup comforting. Or maybe because it's not spicy. This is definitely one of MIL's absolute best signature dishes. Of course, the next few times she sees me, she'll likely make us 1,000 wontons and then I will never ever ever want to eat them again. Oh, God! Please don't let her do that!

While we ate, my husband switched us from satellite to Chinese cable because none of our satellite channels are in Chinese. I think his parents, particularly his dad, actually like watching Raelynn's English cartoons on Nickelodeon, but if they want to watch boring CCTV news out of Qingdao during one meal a week, so be it. Besides, I would have never had a chance to take this photo of this heinously ugly male news anchor. I already did a post on the schlumpy female newscasters of Qingdao before. If you missed it, check it out.

Ugh, right? Even that James Chau from the English CCTV news channel is way better looking, and I don't find him that attractive. He just looks more polished and professional. The guy above looks like Jeremy's drunk uncle or something.
See? Much better!

Here's hoping I can be further surprised by my in-laws' in the future, and that my stomach keeps staying on the path to wellness.

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