Thursday, April 7, 2011

APB! All Points Bulletin: Our Frying Pan

(Please note that the above image is not our actual frying pan but looks similar. From Google's Picasa Images, this is much cleaner than ours. Ours is permanently scorched on the bottom, because my MIL has to ruin everyfuckingthing).

Today, I was alarmed to discover that our frying pan was absent from our kitchen. I checked the usual places that my husband or I would put it, but it wasn’t there. I think it has been kidnapped! The culprit?


The last time I saw our beloved frying pan was on Monday, which was a holiday here in China. My husband and I left early to attend a meeting for La Leche League to learn more about starting breastfeeding. The meeting ended at noon, and from there, we spent a whirlwind day enjoying a fancy lunch and walking along by the sea. Afterward, we went to see a movie. It was absolutely perfect. 

However, when we arrived home, it was clear an intruder had been there. There were dishes of food on the table, an obvious sign that MIL had cooked for us. I am secretly relieved that I am still too full from lunch and a giant bucket of popcorn to be forced to eat anything she’s concocted. Still, I wince because I know there will be bountiful messes in my kitchen and I’m too tired now to clean them. 

She did wash the dishes, which was very proper of her but she left rubbish on the counters. During this time, I imagine this is when she jacked our frying pan. We still have our giant wok and big pots but the pan is non-stick, perfect for cooking eggs. Which I’d wanted for breakfast and was sadly thwarted from making. Sure, I could make them in the wok but they’d stick to it and not flip over as easily as if they were made in the pan. 

Because she is my prime suspect, I have also taken to checking unusual places for our missing frying pan. Still, no luck. It is gone, unless she has shoved it to the back of one of the upper cabinets (much like we’ve done to the ugly clothes she’s bought for us) which, being this pregnant, I simply cannot get to. I’ll have my husband conduct a search party later when he returns from work. I hope we can bring home our darling frying pan!

My husband was able to locate our missing frying pan. MIL did not take it but that does not mean she is in the clear. It took my husband 20 minutes of digging around in the upper cabinets to find it. MIL had somehow shoved it back so far that it fell behind a bunch of giant pots that aren't used as often due to their massive size. She also had put it back without washing it. UGH! Thanks again, MIL!

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