Dear China, we need to talk. There have been 3 separate incidents in as many days regarding some of your citizens aboard airplanes which leads me to believe that a severe outbreak of stupid is reaching epidemic levels in your country.
First, there was the flight from Bangkok, Thailand to Nanjing where 2 very selfish and moronic people engaged in an argument with a flight attendant and then threw steaming hot instant noodles onto said flight attendant. I believe I recall Xi Jinping imploring you folks to stop eating noodles whilst traveling. Which makes me insane for many reasons, but primarily because I cannot even fathom shelling out money for airfare and hotel in a new destination only to hide in my hotel room and eat some shitty convenience food instead of trying the food from another place. Something is wrong with you. Very wrong. Really.
Then, there was this selfish prick who wanted to get off the airplane faster so he opened the emergency exit, which in turn, deployed the emergency slide and caused the plane to be 2 hours late for take-off for its' next destination. Can I just ask you what kind of a moron do you have to be to not understand the words "EMERGENCY EXIT" printed in big red letters? It's in Chinese too for God's sake! It's just like the idiots who don't lock the doors to the airplane bathrooms on Chinese flights, even though it is in English AND Chinese. Hence, every single time I've had to use the bathroom when flying around China, I've walked in on someone using it because it says "VACANT" because the imbecile inside didn't lock it.
And today, I saw this one of some yokel who had never before been on a plane and of course did not listen to the safety instructions before take-off because he opened the emergency exit to get a breath of fresh air. At least this idiot opened the door over the wing so there was no emergency slide to deploy.
The level of stupid here is seriously astonishing. It deserves to be in the Guiness Book of World Records. "Most Stupid People Assembled in One Place at One Time." Congratulations, China. You're a winner!
One of the worst 13 hours I ever spent was on a China Southern Airlines JFK-Guanzhou flight. It's a new route and they were offering low introductory fares. We usually fly United direct to BJ, but thought we'd try something different. It was pure Hell being trapped in a small space with hundreds of messy, loud and selfish Chinese travelers. The guy in front of me kept singing Peking opera- badly when they weren't hassling the FAs. The woman next to me ate 7 different containers of instant noodles. I counted. They smelled soooo bad and she was a slob about it. This was in addition to the airline meals and countless messy snacks, which she kept passing around to other rows. It was everything I could do to not scream, "b*tch, stop eating!" No one needs to consume that much food in a 13 hour period. I have a theory (one of my many theories) that Chinese people are in a state of high anxiety when they travel, much more so than other people. I saw so many of them completely losing their sh*t over minor stuff. Multiple meltdowns in the airports and on the plane. I'm surprised that more planes aren't diverted because of them.
ReplyDeleteI thank my lucky stars none of my flights on Chinese airlines were quite that awful. The worst was the one I blogged about in this post:
Deletehttp://abroadabroadablogablog.blogspot.hk/2011/09/open-letter-to-shandong-airlines.html
I fear our upcoming trip to Guangzhou and flying to the US though. Eek. We've been so lucky so far that the other passengers have been nice to us, even when Raelynn threw a tantrum on a flight to Shanghai last year. We were so embarrassed and we tried everything to shut her up and everyone around us was very kind.
I cannot even imagine eating 7 containers of instant noodles. If that happens on our flight to the US, I will just remind myself that soon, I will be in my country and it will be a much happier place.