Mean Moms Of Qingdao

 This movie will be soooooo fetch!

I have to admit it...I am TOTALLY a Mean Girls fan. Who isn't, right? So naturally, when I heard they were making a Mean Moms, I jumped for joy. Brilliant. Marketing at it's finest, targeting those of us who lived and breathed Mean Girls a decade later with the idea of being mean moms. Because that's definitely a thing. Unlike "fetch," it's happening.

Every mom has had a run-in with a mean mom. And Qingdao seems to be teeming with them. I was talking to two of my gal pals here and like me, they had also lived in Seoul prior to living here. We all have had the same experience regarding making friends. In Seoul, expats were SO much more united and friendly. But here? You could be out at a supermarket or walking around downtown and in a sea of Chinese faces, you see another foreigner! You smile and say hello politely as you pass only to be thrown an icy stare and complete silence.

Making friends here has been very difficult indeed so I treasure the select few that have made the cut. Because there are definitely more mean people here than I can believe. And I come from Miami! That should tell you something!

Let me tell you about a run-in I had a few weeks ago with a mean mom here. It happened at church services, the place where you expect people to have good manners and be kind. Or maybe we're weird for expecting those things. Anyway, let's just call this mean mom Sally Snottypants. Perfect.

Jeremy and I arrived for church while they were still making the weekly announcements before services. He led us into an empty row right in front of Sally Snottypants and her family. Jeremy sat down, as did Raelynn who was eager to go to her little Sunday school class which would start right after the announcements. I started into the row when Sally Snottypants' daughter (who is the same age as Raelynn) began coughing all over the back of my husband's head. Appalled, I ask Sally Snottypants if her daughter was contagious or had measles or anything I should be concerned about.

I should clarify here that this was before Seoul turned 8 months old. In China, they give the MMR (measles, mumps, rubella) shot at 8 months. When we'd gone for Seoul's 7 month vaccination, the nurse warned us to stay away from crowded places because there had been an outbreak of measles. I reported this to the mom friends I have at the church so they could help pass that information around to the other moms. Apparently, this was either the first Sally Snottypants had heard of it or she is even more of a jerk than I previously supposed.

She gives me a major scowl and says, "It's just a cough." Just a cough? Um, hello?!? First of all, I have a small baby with me. Surely you remember when YOUR kids were babies. I bet you didn't want people coughing all over them. Secondly, why bring your kids to church when they're ill? Stay home! And thirdly, your child coughed all over my husband. Are you unable to apologize for that?

When Raelynn was still 2, I taught her to cover her mouth when she coughed and sneezed. She almost always remembers. And you better believe that in the odd chance she forgot and coughed on someone, I would be apologizing to them AND having her say sorry as well. "It's just a cough" is not an acceptable answer.

Shortly after, the children were dismissed to their groups. I walked Raelynn out to the lobby to meet her group leader. Sally Snottypants brought her coughy daughter out after us, yet she put her in line in front of us. I was too stunned to say anything to her, so I loudly warned my daughter not to get close to anyone that was sick. "And keep your hands clean. People have germs," I caution and Raelynn nods solemnly.

I told Jeremy what happened when I returned to my seat. "What a rude lady," he comments. The next week at church, we happened to show up as the children were being led away for their groups so we quickly put Raelynn on the line for her age group. We waved goodbye and as we started walking into the auditorium for services, who should be ahead of us but Sally Snottypants? Jeremy and I loudly teehee like teenagers and he says, "Oh look! It's Rude Lady!" I bet, given the chance, he might give her a stamp or two like he did to the rude lady at the Shangri-La.

Sally Snottypants isn't the only one, unfortunately. Like the ones that are nice to my face and then refuse my friend requests on social media. And still others are just rather unfriendly. But they do serve a purpose...they remind me that I'm lucky to have the friends I have back home and just as lucky to have made some of the few wonderful friends I have here. Quality over quantity has never been more true!

Girl, Interrupted

If you've been reading my blog for a while, then you are fully aware of how annoying my in-laws can be. But if you're new around here, perhaps you think I might be a little too harsh. I'll concede that I'm sometimes a bit of a bitch, but in my defense, I really do try to be nice. I mean, why can't I be nice to someone who comes over to help me with the children and cook us some meals? Shouldn't I be grateful?

Largely, I am. Even if she continues to cook vomitous bowls of things that perhaps once resembled food but now would be considered partially digested (you be the judge...click here). I try to smile, remembering that she just wants to help. And that soon enough, I'll be freed from her cooking catastrophes.

That being said though, there are just some things she does that take me from zero to stabby in .0001 seconds. Try as I might to conceal my rage, it just boils over. I'm hoping that by typing out what really gets my goat about the old goat right here, that maybe it will keep me from completely blowing my top.

Soap.
After we had Raelynn, Jeremy trained MIL on how to use soap. Watching him stand in the doorway to ensure she used soap and scrubbed her hands properly made me so happy. Perhaps it's not entirely her fault. In many places in China, you will be hard-pressed to find soap in the bathrooms. Unless you're at an upscale establishment, don't be surprised when you go to wash your hands and find there is no soap. And only cold water. My husband once explained to me that Chinese people falsely believe that running your hands quickly under cold water is good enough for cleaning them. Um, no, China. No, no, no. Get some soap. So MIL uses soap, which is great, but every single time she reaches for the bar of soap. The one Jeremy uses in the shower (I use a shower gel). We have a big soap pump of anti-bacterial soap right next to the sink. It's by Walch and it's in Chinese even! Yet, she pushes it out of the way and grabs the bar soap. I have no idea why. Remember, we have a typical Asian bathroom where there is no shower stall but still, on our counters, I have moved the soap tray all the way by the shampoo and conditioner in hopes that she gets the hint. Jeremy can't change her but he did put in an anti-bacterial bar of soap which makes me less annoyed but only slightly. JUST USE THE PUMP SOAP!

Cold Water.
The other day, I was quite thirsty. I made some green tea and so I could drink it right away, I added cold water from our filtered water tap. She began squawking loudly about how that cold water was bad and hot water is better. I just gave her my patented bitchface and told her she's crazy. I'm thirsty. I need to drink something now and scalding hot beverages are not refreshing when you are parched. Of course, we already know how she feels about cold things though, don't we? Ugh.

The Refrigerator.
Our refrigerator could definitely be more organized. But when MIL comes over, trying to keep it orderly is absolutely impossible. This morning, I opened the door to get eggs out to make for our breakfast. As I did, I was greeted by a plate of uncooked fish filets, a bag of raw meat in the same bag as raw dough, and all kinds of atrocities peppered in with OUR things. She just shoves her barfy bits up in there and now there's hardly any room for real food. Oh, and for good measure, she left vegetables outside of the refrigerator. My level of stabbiness is through the roof.

Here's her pile of vegetables. Outside of the refrigerator. On top of a box of beer with one beer removed for whatever reason. And three...THREE! Three different containers of oil. When she came over less, our oil lasted so much longer.

My beautiful cream cheese from Australia is shoved to the back to make room for her fish filets. She has made us fried fish for the past 2 nights and I highly suspect she will do the very same thing again tonight. Ugh.

Here is the raw meat coupled with the dough. I just can't even. Looking in our refrigerator makes me so incredibly sad. The only consolation I have is that it must be way better than my in-laws' refrigerator. You do remember their kitchen, right?

Interrupting.
And this one is without a doubt THE worst. Just know that it pisses me off when ANYONE does it. Less so when it's Raelynn just because she is learning how to use "excuse me" but thinks that she should say it any time and not only when it's important. For example, she'll pester Jeremy and me while we're talking, repeatedly saying "excuse me" over and over until we acknowledge her and then she says something like, "I have a red shirt!" Annoying as that is, we're working on it with her. She is, after all, just about to turn 4, so we cut her some slack. But you know who doesn't get any slack on this? MIL.

Seriously, the woman just talks and talks and taaaaaaaaaaaaaalks. She never shuts up. It's the worst when my husband comes home from work. He and I will be talking and she will just come up and start talking in Chinese over what we're discussing. I know he's annoyed by it too but he says nothing. He just ignores her. I shoot her my patented megabitchface (even more severe than regular bitchface) and she nods and retreats. But then, seconds later, she's blabbering away again. I HATE BEING INTERRUPTED! Why can't she tell her son that she needs to talk to him when we're finished with our conversation? Or just wait for us to finish talking before she says something? She does it EVERY SINGLE DAY. No joke. I about flipped the table yesterday when she did it. Between her interruptions and Raelynn's interruptions, I'm amazed Jeremy and I actually get a chance to speak to each other.

She also just blabbers on and on from the kitchen, as if anyone is listening to her. I asked my husband if he was listening to her. No why? Because I think she's been talking to you for a good 5 minutes from the kitchen. Either that or she's completely batshit crazy now, thinking she's Belle from Beauty and the Beast and conversing with the dishware. It honestly could go either way.