Friday, September 28, 2012

Dirty Deeds Done For Free

This week has been utterly insane preparing for the school's walkathon (or 'wakathlon' as one of the kindergarten Korean teachers had spelled it). And life has been pretty hectic in general as we prepare for my family's visit in a few weeks. I'm so excited and so busy and I feel like I am constantly on the go. Even in my sleep!

So of course, it should come as no surprise why these few things I'm about to piss and moan about would bother me. Venting is good for the soul and so here I go to release this anger before the molten lava causes some collateral damage...

When I go to work, I'm gone for about 9 hours (from the moment I leave my house to the moment I return). And in this time, MIL manages to create even more of a mess for me. I'm particularly pissed because I spent my Saturday of last weekend scrubbing everything in this house. It was so clean and wonderful in here. Until I came back from work on Monday. That old goat-faced bucktooth zombie let Raelynn play with tissues. And just like any baby who loves to shred papers, Raelynn had torn little shreds of paper and scattered them ALL OVER our fucking house. MIL sits on her dumb ass all day long and it never occurs to her to go get the broom and clean that shit up. Now, before you say something idiotic like, "but she's old!" or "maybe she's too feeble to handle sweeping," punch yourself in the throat and keep your mouth shut. This woman is just 10 years younger than my father. And her troll-ass hoofs it up her stairs (as well as ours) with bags full of vegetables. If she can lug a sack of potatoes up all these stairs without wheezing when she gets to our door, she is more than fucking capable of using a broom. The only thing feeble about her is her ant-sized brain.

It has occurred to me that perhaps she doesn't really understand how a broom works. I mean, when I've seen her use it, I'm astonished that she doesn't seem to get that when you sweep, you want to push the dirt into the dustpan and not just pretend to look useful. Oh right. That's her fucking gimmick. Pretend to be useful. Fanfuckingtastic.

Now, today is Saturday, one week after my major cleaning. Guess what I spent this Saturday doing. If you guessed cleaning, you get a prize. The prize being that you can live with the satisfaction of knowing that you are not as dumb as my MIL. Anyway, cleaning today bothered me less since we have off for a whole week next week due to a Chinese holiday, hence I don't feel like I've completely wasted my free time. Here are just some of the things I had discovered (and have hence cleaned up). I am sorry to say I have no photos because I was so angry I wanted to smash everything in my path and I actually had luck on my side because Raelynn's favorite cartoons were on and she was too busy watching them to swat at the broom and dust pan while I toiled away...

Our rolling pin was stuffed into the drawer of kitchen utensils. And it was DIRTY. It was CAKED with flour. She does this EVERYFUCKINGTIME she uses it. I don't care if the thing is just being used by either of us to roll out flour-based creations. Fucking wash it! I threw it into the sink (which, I am happy to say, has finally been repaired) with an angry clank.

Next up, our wok. She left it on the stove yesterday, filled with dumplings she'd made for us. That was kind of nice, especially since my school had a barbecue thing after the 'wakathlon' and after all the children left, complete with beer, so I came home a bit later than usual. It's HOW she left these dumplings that really pissed me off. She put them in a large metal dish that I usually use for baking which is almost the size of the wok itself. Then, she put another large metal dish that I use for baking on top of that. THEN, she put the lid for the wok on top of that. I should add that this cow NEVER washes the lid of the wok. If I never came along, this lid would STILL be caked in grease and smells from 10 years ago. Easily. Thanks for leaving me 4 things to wash up. You have nothing to do but play with a baby all day. Yeah, the baby keeps me busy alright but I can still wash up the dishes and put what I've cooked into *gasp* a dish!

Also, when I get home, I notice she has redone Raelynn's hairstyle for the day. It never looks as cute as when I do it in the morning before I go. YOU are NOT her mom! I'd say stop acting like it but in order to be her mom (which is the ever-awesome me) you have to clean the house. And not be an ugly cow. Grrrrrr!

Before I finished mopping the floors today, I picked up Raelynn's bigger toys and moved them out of the way. Things like her toy stroller which she loves to push around. That's when I discovered that yesterday, MIL had left a wet rag in there! LORD! I wanted to stuff it down her throat. Oh God. I know that's mean but I am so frustrated by her. Does it help having someone to watch the baby, for free no less? Yes. But I resent that I get so little time with Raelynn and then I have to come home and pick up the mess this useless old hag left for me. I should leave her a mess to clean up. I'm sure that would backfire though. You know as well as I do that it would totally still be there when I came home from work.

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