Thursday, November 20, 2014

I Am Not Alone

Have you ever read my blog and wondered if my Chinese in-laws are the only mess-making slobs or if other Chinese people behave similarly?

Well, wonder no more, because today's post revolves around a photo my friend/Western boss, Patrick, gave to me. See, we are both official members of the unofficial Chinese Spouse Club. Sometimes during our breaks, we wind up trading horror stories about our in-laws. I'm not sure who has worse in-laws...Patrick or me. I'll let you decide. One thing is crystal clear though as I scan our apartment for more dough in random places...I am not alone in my suffering of incompetent boob-brained Chinese in-laws reeking havoc on my personal habitat.

Let's take a look at this photo of Patrick's kitchen. He explained that he has given up on cleaning the kitchen because moments after he cleans it, it resembles Chernobyl once more, as shown below.
There is SO much to discuss about this! Where to start? The green onions and other assorted vegetables on the floor. And is that a cigarette I see?!? Random green pepper on the window sill. Oh look! They have a luo bo on the counter too! Garbage on the floor. Every dish in the cabinet out on the counter, probably with food in it and even more probably left out for days. Geez! Patrick, I feel your pain, bro.

Apparently, this is what his in-laws consider to be clean. Only in China! Also, Patrick's MIL has some foot condition and when he gets angry with her about something, his wife gets upset and worries that his telling her to clean up after herself will make her die. Just like MY husband worries about his mom breaking into pieces should I happen to ask her to not treat our home like a pigpen.

Even though Patrick has the aggravating task of hiring a replacement for me when we get approved for Jeremy's visa, I think he's secretly rooting for me to escape the hell that I must endure with my husband's parents. Meanwhile, Patrick is surely counting down the days until he and his family go to the US for winter vacation, aren't you? Thanks again for sharing your kitchen katastrophe with us!


  1. I should have taken pictures as well after the nuclear kitchen strikes by MIL. Really, each time after she was done with cooking I didnt feel like cleaning the kitchen but to burn it to the ground and rebuild just a fire place so she cant mess up anything more,
    Now here in Germany I am wondering what will happen to our brand new kitchen :o

    1. Keep her out of your new kitchen! Save your new home! And should she enter and destroy it, be sure to document it with photos for your blog. I cleaned our whole home from top to bottom today because we had company coming for dinner. My husband was snippy with me about how I was muttering under my breath as I scrubbed everything. He went off to the market to get some things for the dinner preparation and when he returned, I'd finished cleaning the whole place. See, he'd been telling me before he left that his mother cleans our home which had caused me to laugh hysterically. There's no way that woman is cleaning unless she defines cleaning as throwing more dirt around and leaving vegetables out to rot (or worse, hiding them in the darndest places where they turn into nuclear vegetable goop). He was angry that I made fun of his "wonderful" mother. But when he walked back in he said, "Oh wow. Now THIS is clean!" I cannot wait to move. My husband even said today that this is why we're moving and soon, we won't have to put up with this crap.

  2. The picture is making me break out in a cold sweat. What is so difficult about using a trash cans?. I've seen kitchens like that in China, where the owners drive luxury vehicles and carry designer bags, all of which they keep in perfect condition. I think it goes back to the issue of Face. Few people are going to see their kitchen, so they don't care about it. My in-laws kitchen and bathrooms are a disaster. In terms of germs, they are clean but cluttered and falling apart. The BIL spent years trying to get them to do renovations. He even offered to arrange everything, but they were so freaking stubborn. They didn't want to spend the money on it, even though they spend tons on overpriced Face giving gifts. Last year he put his foot down and paid for it himself.

    1. Oh DO NOT get me started on the saving face bit. It makes me extra stabby. If people are so concerned about saving face, WHY do they dress like they dug through their dirty laundry pile in the dark? Why don't they take care of their hair and teeth?

      Have you seen the post with my in-laws bathroom before they fixed it?

      Thankfully, they changed the toilet out. Even more thankfully, we never have to go there.