Sunday, August 31, 2014

The Hell That Is Packing...Times 4

In my single days, when I went on any kind of trip involving a suitcase, I actually enjoyed packing. I would lay out all of my outfits and coordinate footwear and accessories. I would gather up all my makeup. It took no time at all, even with such painstaking planning on the matching of garments.

Packing never seemed like a chore until I had a kid. Then, it was that new-parent headache...did I bring enough wipes? Diapers? Clothes? Toys? Snacks? There is never enough of these things, incidentally.

Fast-forward to today, where I now have 2 children. 3 if you count my husband. Who was napping earlier when I was first attempting to do this. Oh but I can't stay mad at him. He upgraded us to a much nicer room than he'd originally booked, in a better hotel with a view of the river. And right nearby it, there's a Mexican restaurant a friend had recommended to us. So Jeremy gets extra bonus points. And something else that I won't be mentioning in this blog. Ahem.

But earlier today, I was in packing hell. How much harder can it be to pack 4 people instead of just 3? Well. Let me tell you.

For starters, my in-laws had come last night to wish us well. According to them, it is good luck to eat dumplings before you take a trip. Any time we have gone anywhere, they've made us eat dumplings with them. I know it sounds corny, but I think it is a little sweet. So we ate dumplings and drank some beer and it wasn't half bad.

Until this morning. My stomach hurt. And you know who else had an upset stomach? Raelynn. Thanks MIL for your tainted dumplings. She probably did something unsanitary when she was making them. Ugh. Fortunately, it wasn't so debilitating that we couldn't function. Once Jeremy got up from napping, he picked out his clothes he wanted packed and laid them out for me.

While he did that, I nursed Seoul, who was a sleepy baby. So I put her down for a nap. Only thing was she kept waking up. And so this went on my whole day, like this:
Hungry baby. Feed baby. Baby poops. Change baby. Burp baby. Put baby to sleep. Baby goes to sleep. Mommy sneaks off to pick out Raelynn's clothes. Baby cries. Mommy comes back and puts Baby back to sleep. Mommy sneaks off again. Jeremy sneezes so epically loudly that it shakes the building. Baby cries. Mommy deals with baby. Feed, burp, change poopie diaper. Back to sleep goes the baby. Raelynn drops toy onto tile floors with earth-shattering kaboom. Baby cries again. Cranky Mommy rocks baby to sleep.

Yes. My whole fucking day was like this. I'm surprised I actually ate lunch. And you know what was the funniest part?  I started packing at about 10am and at 4pm, I was STILL packing our shit up. STILL! How hard is it to pack for a fucking baby? Harder than you'd think. Because you've got your onesies. And you should bring extra just in case there's a giant pooptacular explosion onto her clothing. Or a spit-up mess, which happened to me this morning. That's what I get for trying to see if she'd like to use the pacifier for the airplane. Short answer: no, because Mommy is afraid she'll yak up a ton of milk onto her during the 3-hour flight to Guangzhou. Then you need pajamas. And some blankets for swaddling. A burp cloth. And of course, a fuckload of diapers. I filled up the suitcase with them and then I put about 15 in the diaper bag. I know that might seem excessive but what if the flight is delayed or those buttholes lose our luggage? What if she has 10 poopings before the flight takes off? Now I'm armed and ready.

Raelynn was even harder. She has the coolest clothes. I want them in my size. For her, I picked out a cute summer dress to wear to the embassy and about 5 other outfits. We're only going for about 3 or 4 days but extra clothes for Raelynn is a must because this kid spills everything. I brought extra undies for her too in case she has an accident. I put one pair of them in the diaper bag. And then I realized I should put one of Seoul's onesies in there too for the same reason. And all this thinking made me realize I didn't have enough wet wipes so I added a fuckload more.

Remember, all of this is happening in small bursts between dealing with the baby. If only she'd napped for one long stretch, I could have had this all done in one hour. But nooooooooo. Some people (coughcoughRaelynncoughcoughJeremycoughcoughcough) can't sneeze or play quietly.

Finally, I get a chance to pick out MY clothes. I'm still losing weight from the baby so I don't have very much to work with. I sigh wistfully at Raelynn's clothes. Why can't my shit be that nice? I unearth my go-to outfits from the wardrobe and then double-check everything. Socks, underwear, shorts, shirts, skirts. Everything matches. Even my back-up items in the event of a poop splattering or spit-up situation match. I'm ready.

Of course, now all that's left are toiletries. Which I'll do tomorrow after I fix my hair and make-up. We leave for the airport at 2:30pm. So by my calculations, if today is any indicator, I'll be finished packing us up at 2:25pm. Sounds about right.

Good vibes are appreciated as we head out on our trip and of course, look for a blog post about our adventures in Guangzhou soon after our return. 


  1. I am horrible when it comes to packing. Okay, I must say that I thought that I was pretty good as I can pack everything I need for a trip within 10min however my wife taught me different.
    She needs about 2 days of packing to get everything done but then everything is really organized. She can tell you in which tiny corner this and that is and most things are packed into little labled bags :)
    When I think about my packing mess before...

    1. Hahaha! Anyone can take a bag and shove a bunch of crap in it in about 10 minutes. But your wife is a woman of course and on top of that, a wife and a mom. It brings a whole new level of organization to the playing field. As a woman, when you marry and have a child/children, you suddenly turn into the most organized person. Unless you were organized before. Which I wasn't. Ever. And I can totally tell my husband where everything is that he's searching for. Always. It's a wife-thing. =)