I would like to take a moment to complain about everyone's favorite derps, my in-laws. Actually, I would not like to take a moment...I must take a moment, or else I'm going to completely flip my shit.
As I mentioned in my last post, we have a 4-day weekend. And since I did not want them coming to bother us during our big stretch of weekend, my husband had them come Monday, Tuesday and today so they could spend time with Raelynn. It was as tortuous as it sounds. Worse, actually.
Tonight, I hit my limit and lost my mind. It's best if I just make a list of the ways they made my blood pressure skyrocket these last few days:
1) The mess.
Of-fucking-course they leave a mess everywhere. I don't know who is worse...MIL leaving food out that would otherwise sit out all night if not for me (or my husband) moving it into the refrigerator after she leaves...or FIL, who plays with Raelynn and leaves ALL her toys all over the fucking floor. He doesn't tell her to pick up things she's done playing with. He just lets her pile it everywhere. Which leads me to...
2) Broken things.
While in the middle of trying to calm her from having a meltdown, which was all FIL's fault (I'll explain in a second...) I step on one of the toys mentioned above. A half of a plastic mango from her toy food set and it breaks. Thanks asshat!
3) The meltdown.
Totally FIL's fault. He took every single book off her shelf (she has somewhere between 70 and 80 books now) and left them in the middle of her floor. One of them is a coloring/painting Dora the Explorer book. It came with crayons and washable paints (courtesy of my awesome parents). Raelynn wanted to play with it right then but we were sitting down to dinner. I told her we'd color and paint tomorrow and to come along. For once, MIL was actually helpful because she shouted at her husband for disregarding what I was saying. DO NOT undermine my parenting in front of my child. Even MIL learned that one already but FIL just can't get with the program. I yelled at him in English and despite not understanding a word, he took it as a cue that if he didn't knock it off, I'd likely beat him with my chair.
4) The phone.
For whatever reason, when they come for dinner, neither one can seem to remember how to use a phone to call their son. You want to know where he is so fucking bad? YOU pick up the phone and call him. He's sitting in traffic! If he's got a business appointment, he always tells us. Stop nagging me to call him when you can call him yourself. I'll nag him when it's important, like when you guys piss me off endlessly and I want him to change the locks.
5) Tea, tea, tea.
Last week, my in-laws complained because we were about to run out of the expensive green tea. And yes, in case you are wondering, there are various grades of tea here and the best green teas cost a pretty penny. But they are very worth it. The thing with them though is that you only need to put a pinch in the bottom of your cup and then fill it with hot water. It will expand up in your cup. Both MIL and FIL pissed and moaned about how much they spent on that tea for us and now look! It's just about gone! Well, I'll have you know why it disappears so quickly...because when they come over, they fill several mugs with too many tea leaves, therefore creating a cup that consists of mostly leaves and a sip of tea. See exhibit A below...
6) Eat, eat, eat.
With MIL coming over, she of course HAS TO cook for us. Some days, it's actually very helpful, even if whatever she serves makes me want to gag. But what I hate even more than her cooking is her insisting I eat something particular. No, no, no. Yesterday, she had some dry, crumbly, flavorless mantou. For those of you who have never visited or lived in China, mantou is a type of Chinese bread. It is very glutinous and floury and has absolutely no taste. No salt. No sweet. It's just a blob of crap that I find a waste of calories. In a pinch, you CAN make it taste good by frying it in a pan and seasoning it with salt and garlic powder or using it to make quickie pizzas in your oven. But when MIL serves it, she wants you to eat it plain. There are a few different kinds of mantou and the one she brought yesterday is my least favorite of them all. I politely declined but she kept nagging me, telling me it was good for me. GOOD for me?!? Lady, you are off your rocker if you think this crappy-ass excuse for bread is going to improve my health. I'd get more nutrition from a Snickers bar.
Perhaps I wouldn't be so annoyed if my husband were home when they were here. It's not his fault. He can't control the traffic. But it just sucks ass to be stuck with Dumb and Dumber and have little escape from them. Well, at least they are gone now and my urge to kill is no longer rising, rising. I am going to cling to this very last shred of sanity that I possess with my dear life and enjoy my long weekend, which will hopefully remain in-law-free for the entire duration.