This aptly shows how I feel when dealing with my husband's parents. It's actually the front cover of Megadeth's Rude Awakening album. Oh, that's it! I'll just play Megadeth next time the in-laws come over. That should scare them away. Megadeth fixes everything! Rock on!
It's Wednesday, May 1st, the last day of the Chinese Labor Holiday. At 6:30 this morning, I awoke to our land line ringing off the hook. I bet you know who was calling too, don't you? Now, 6:30am is actually sleeping in for me since I have to wake up at 6am to get ready for work. But still. I was asleep and more importantly, so was Raelynn. The jangling ring of the phone ended all of that.
The troll wanted to come over and bring us shrimp, of all fucking things, bright and early. I get it...the best time to buy this kind of shit is bright and early when they come in off the boat. But what I don't want is some old goat stomping her hooves around while she's steaming shrimp in my kitchen at 7am. My husband of course is off to play soccer on this lovely last day off, isn't he? Oh sure. Go play ball while I deal with your mother. OF COURSE it's so simple for you. GOD! He tells me I can go back to sleep. I can? HOW? You have no idea how irked I was by this. As he was leaving, who was coming up the stairs but MIL with her jumbo bag of shrimp. And soon, my house stunk like a bait and tackle shop. She had bought too much shrimp and had no room in her refrigerator. Ok, fine. I'll roll with her lame-ass excuse. She gives us some of this shrimp. And then, she insists upon cooking some of it right then and there at 7 in the fucking morning. I like shrimp, but not for breakfast. It doesn't matter that I've served Raelynn breakfast. It doesn't matter that I am completely capable of cooking shrimp all by my fucking self when I want to eat it. It doesn't matter that I politely refused. She told me she was cooking it for Raelynn.
She then proceeded to get everything covered in the stink of raw shrimp in the process of her preparing it. Then, to my horror, she started to wash the dishes with the rag we use to clean counters. She should know this too - we've explained it to her no less than 100 times. Plus, it was draped ON TOP OF A FUCKING SPRAY BOTTLE OF CLEANER. Oh sure, wash the dishes with something that has chemicals on it. Good one. I also noticed she didn't even turn the water onto hot. I pleaded with her to stop and told her I would do it.
I start doing laundry and cleaning our home. I need to take my anger out on something. Raelynn is happily eating the breakfast I'd given her while watching her cartoons. Her grandma then gives her a bowl of shrimp. Since Raelynn is half Chinese, a bowl of shrimp for breakfast doesn't disgust her like it does me. Then, as I'm putting the dry laundry away, MIL tries to take Raelynn to change her. I tell her that I'll do it. And she ignores me. So I say quite loudly and more forcibly that I will do it. Again, that cow tries to take over and I just about lose it. Mustering the last bit of manners I have left, I tell her it is my last day of the holiday and I return to work tomorrow, and I would really appreciate it to be left alone to be with my daughter. She finally backs off and waits by the door as I change Raelynn so she can go say goodbye to her grandmother.
I scrub the house with such vigor after this, making sure I scrub our floors extra hard in the process since MIL sloshed shrimp juices all over them and then trampled it all over the tiles. I seriously want to strangle someone at this point. When my husband comes back from soccer, he seems like a good candidate for strangulation. He helps me finish up the cleaning and promises nice things for Mother's Day, including getting my hair done and taking me to my favorite restaurant. Somehow, these promises make me feel better. Despite the early morning shrimp invasion, we manage to have a nice day. We don't do very much except play with Raelynn and go out for lunch. It was lovely.
Until just 15 minutes ago when the land line rang again. Are you fucking kidding me? These people! They want to come over to bring us dumplings! DO YOU FUCKING THINK I CAN'T COOK FOR MY FAMILY??? DO YOU THINK I WANT TO GIVE UP THE LAST FEW HOURS I HAVE WITH RAELYNN BEFORE SHE GOES TO SLEEP SO YOU - WHO SEE HER EVERYFUCKINGDAY WHILE I WORK - CAN STEAL IT FROM ME?!? I am seething right now. Those two buttholes are in my living room invading my space to play with my daughter WHICH THEY DO EVERY DAY THAT I AM AT WORK! This is MY time with her. And my husband is doing nothing about this. He is sitting right beside me, probably knowing full well that I am angrily stabbing at the keys on my laptop to write about this bullshit right now. He reminded me that one day, they won't be able to come over because we won't live her anymore. Do you know how badly I wish that day was today?!? What a fucking treat that will be!
I just want to go out there and tell them to get the fuck out of my house and shove their shitacular dumplings up their hairy asses! I am sick and tired of always being the one to accept their culture. Yeah, yeah, I'm in their country but their only grandchild is HALF AMERICAN too. Would it kill them to try to know some of our culture?!? And sweet husband, you married ME! Hello?!? I shouldn't have to compromise everyfuckingtime on this shit. I did my part. I endured a dinner with them on Friday night and was promised I wouldn't have to see them again during this 5-day weekend. But now, I've had to endure them 3 more fucking times, another one of which took place early in the morning. It's rifuckingdiculous.
Now that they've finally taken the hint and left, and now that my husband has apologized for being a total dick, I feel a little relieved. But I'm weary of all of this shit. If I just knew when we could move back home to the US, it would be a lot easier to grin and bear it. Didn't G.I. Joe say that knowing was half the battle? Well, I don't even have that. But don't worry...I will not let it stop me from staying strong for my family. I will get us back home to the land of the free and home of the brave. I won't let them down, especially my sweet little girl. To end on a happy note, here's Raelynn holding flowers for the first time ever. They're from the cherry blossoms which are still in bloom!